Wednesday, December 24, 2008
AGENTS SLIDING DOWN THE CHIMNEY
Oh, Dana, I love you, you anti-abortionist beeeyatch you.
Here is Dana droning on and on about the fact that it will be a cold, cold, cold, cold Christmas. She is going to miss you in *oh so many ways*, but don't worry about it too much as she has got a vari-speed vibrator.
"Yesterday I saw your mum and dad/We bought our cards together". Aren't those the greatest lines ever written in the history of recorded song? Yes dear, thank you for making us feel really envious of your glamorous, jet set rock star lifestyle.
I wonder how many hours it took the TOTP crew to assemble the chrome piping on this unique set?
As far as this Christmas goes in my world, it looks like being a Bette Davis-esque bumpy night, for various reasons. Yikes! I'm sure I'll come out of it at the other side feeling stronger, and will be able to laugh about it in a few years' time.
A merry Christmas to one and all who read/comment/tolerate/slag off this blog. I wish I could give you all a deep, lingering kiss and that I could playfully bite the inside of your upper lips - or do I mean your inner thighs?
xxxxx
By the way, anyone who can explain the significance of the title of the post will win a "BETTY HEARTS DISCO" t-shirt with seasonal festive trim (only currently available in 28 inch chest size, but it's a freebie, yeah?)
As far as this Christmas goes in my world, it looks like being a Bette Davis-esque bumpy night, for various reasons. Yikes! I'm sure I'll come out of it at the other side feeling stronger, and will be able to laugh about it in a few years' time.
A merry Christmas to one and all who read/comment/tolerate/slag off this blog. I wish I could give you all a deep, lingering kiss and that I could playfully bite the inside of your upper lips - or do I mean your inner thighs?
xxxxx
By the way, anyone who can explain the significance of the title of the post will win a "BETTY HEARTS DISCO" t-shirt with seasonal festive trim (only currently available in 28 inch chest size, but it's a freebie, yeah?)
Labels: Bette Davis, Betty Hearts Disco, Christmas, Dana, kissing
Thursday, March 20, 2008
THE LONG GOOD FRIDAY
It's the beginning of the Easter break tomorrow. However, Easter in Britain this year is apparently going to look like this:
... but less picturesque in places like Welling or New Brighton, obviously.
To paraphrase lovely right wing anti abortionist Eurovision winner Dana, according to all sources, colder weather is on the way. There is a threat of three snowflakes bringing the national rail network to a halt.
As is traditional at this time of year, the TV news reporters feel compelled to describe the awful fate that awaits anyone who attempts to leave the country for warmer climes.
You may wish to keep a record of the number of times the following phrases are used in news reports:
"traffic chaos"
"engineering works on railways closing many stations"
"gridlocked roads as people leave work early"
"threatened strike by baggage handlers at many airports"
"disgruntled passengers face overnight waits as flights are cancelled"
"disgruntled junior TV reporters left to hold fort reading same cliched Easter-related stories every bloody year as more senior staff swan off on long haul flights to paradise islands"
Anyway, I should warn you that, hey ho, the next four days are going to be a *Higher Hell* and you will all be *hot cross bunnies*...
I'll be back tomorrow with a competition, for those of you who are left stranded, alone and sad at home.
... but less picturesque in places like Welling or New Brighton, obviously.
To paraphrase lovely right wing anti abortionist Eurovision winner Dana, according to all sources, colder weather is on the way. There is a threat of three snowflakes bringing the national rail network to a halt.
As is traditional at this time of year, the TV news reporters feel compelled to describe the awful fate that awaits anyone who attempts to leave the country for warmer climes.
You may wish to keep a record of the number of times the following phrases are used in news reports:
"traffic chaos"
"engineering works on railways closing many stations"
"gridlocked roads as people leave work early"
"threatened strike by baggage handlers at many airports"
"disgruntled passengers face overnight waits as flights are cancelled"
"disgruntled junior TV reporters left to hold fort reading same cliched Easter-related stories every bloody year as more senior staff swan off on long haul flights to paradise islands"
Anyway, I should warn you that, hey ho, the next four days are going to be a *Higher Hell* and you will all be *hot cross bunnies*...
I'll be back tomorrow with a competition, for those of you who are left stranded, alone and sad at home.
Labels: Dana, Easter chaos, Echo And The Bunnymen, snow, Welling
Sunday, May 06, 2007
BEFORE I GET BACK TO THE ATWOOD ...
Enjoy your Bank Holiday, people.
Labels: a little bit country, a little bit rock 'n' roll, country rock, Dana, Dana International, doozer points, grievous angel, grievous bodily harm, Katie Boyle
