Saturday, September 27, 2008


Gratuitous image (1) ... mmm!

It's been widely reported that David Blaine's most recent stunt was a huge disappointment to people who have an overwhelming urge to see a man hanging upside down for sixty hours continuously. Apparently onlookers were angry that he took breaks to "go to the bathroom".  Millions of Americans have vented their rage at this "Un-American" behaviour and there have been calls for his imprisonment, castration, exile to Cuba, or for him to be tried before The Committee That Reviews Un-American Behaviour.  A private army has been planning his assassination.  Sarah Palin has spontaneously combusted.

David has wisely decided to keep a low profile, and will be flying over to the other side of the pond. 

The good news for British fans is that he will be touring Northern England next summer and will be showcasing some of his famous death defying stunts!

These will include:

*SITTING on a child's high chair in the parking bay outside the Mansfield Travelodge between the hours of dusk and dawn every night during the month of June.  Expect something surprising to happen on summer solstice night ... IF you believe in the power of dreams!!!

*DRIVING around the endless spiralling road leading to Ferrybridge motorway service station in Yorkshire in a golf cart for two days (except for toilet breaks) while listening to The Windmills Of Your Mind on a continuous loop ...

"Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning
On an ever-spinning reel"

*LYING in a bath full of cold baked beans for 24 hours to raise money for a kiddies hospital at the annual Round Table August Bank Holiday Fayre in Ambleside.

Non-gratuitous Dibley ... "eeeeeeh"

... and perhaps most sensationally ...

*HANGING from the belfry of Swinnerton Parish Church, Staffordshire on a few yards of elastic dressed as Dawn French in The Vicar Of Dibley (bobby wig, hideous baggy fair isle jumper, etc.) while giant screens show every episode of The Vicar Of Dibley back to back.  Viewers should be forewarned that there will be toilet breaks.

Gratuitous image (2) ... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Something for everyone then!  

... but only IF you believe in the power of dreams!  Do you?  No, honestly ... DO YOU?

Footnote: I don't feel that I can offer an objective opinion on David Blaine's stunts for the simple reason that I would like to give him a good seeing to.  It must be the "just recovering from severe concussion" demeanour.  I'm a sucker for that.

Labels: , , , , ,

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


Well, no one came up with the correct answer to the previous post's question about the terrible punning title.

It was a reference to the *zany* interjections between the musical bits in the film Born To Boogie ...

I'm sure that would've appeared on Auntie's Rock And Rolling Bloomers, if such a programme had existed at the time.

I saw Born To Boogie for the first time the other night while drunk, and it's one of the great live in concert films, even if the sound is obviously overdubbed. Marc Bolan bashing the guitar with a tambourine! The whimsical Liverpool bits courtesy of the otherwise wonderful Ringo (why are Liverpudlians whimsical?) over egg the pudding, but the live footage is tremendous. In about 1972, every girl I knew was absolutely obsessed with Marc Bolan. What's the modern equivalent of T Rex - McFly? ... or McFly featuring "the Sonia Jackson one" as Nick Grimshaw pointed out on telly yesterday. Well said, Nick!


The Sonia Jackson one from McFly

The nearest thing to a competition winner is The Dog, who said something about Lol Creme which was quite funny, so he's getting one of the deck shoes which will be winging its way to him in East Angular.

Actually, I might give the remaining deck shoe to the person who can answer the question "why are Liverpudlians so whimsical?" most convincingly ...

Labels: , , ,

Saturday, September 20, 2008


This is well behind the times, but you can find out about the results of the greatest blogging project of the year here.  Sorry I'm a bit late with the info, but a few of the readers of this blog are mentioned (well ... probably ex readers what with my absence from these shores).

I'll hopefully get back into putting in the hours on this blog and commenting elsewhere soonish, once I've got all the washing up done.

The first person to work out what the dreadful punning title refers to will win a pair of size 14 (American size 3600) men's deck shoes from M & S that I foraged from a skip (don't let the vaguely salty aroma and toe stains put you off, there's plenty of wear left in them).

Labels: , , , , ,

Friday, September 05, 2008


Well this is a fucking excellent idea for a blogging project (is project the right word?).

If everyone in the world produces a 10cc top ten, the world will be a better place and Sarah Palin will spontaneously combust.

Anyway, I don't suppose anyone else will publish a 10cc top ten, and you want to know why? Because bloggers are a bunch of cunts, that's why!

Bloody bollocks to you all, anyway.

1. I'm Not In Love. Obviously the "menopause wives are hard to handle" choice. I keep wondering why I'm not sick to the back teeth of this song by now as everybody else of around my age is. Reminds me of the endlessly, mercilessly hot summers of the mid 1970's and my chronic hay fever inducing a mind altered state between June and September.

2. The fact that Geoff told me that when he was at an airport he saw a bloke in the arrivals section holding a sign saying "Kevin Godley" (note for younger readers: Kevin Godley was the boss eyed drummer in 10cc). Every time we get back from a holiday and go through customs one of us always says "Kevin Godley".

3. I'm Mandy, Fly Me. I was 12 and this was "my" Sergeant Pepper.

4. Neanderthal Man - Hot Legs. Prototype cc. Brutal, primal, pre-glam swampathon.

5. You Are My Love - Liverpool Express. Absolutely rubbish, but it still sounded a bit like I'm Not In Love, so I rate it highly for that reason. Reminds me of the endlessly, mercilessly hot summers of the mid 1970's and chronic hay fever inducing a mind altered state between June and September. I heard this in an out of town Homebase a few years ago and a Proustian rush flooded over me.

6. The fact that, when 10cc reached their nadir and had a huge hit with Dreadlock Holiday, Eric Stewart underlined the fact that they were irredeemably crap by having an awful wash and wear perm of the type sported by Kevin Keegan. This perm was advertised in a quarter page advert in my local football team's match programme: "THE SPORTSMAN'S DEMI WAVE FOR MEN HAS ARRIVED AT TONY'S UNISEX HAIR DESIGN" it announced. I bet Eric was advised to scrunch dry the new do "for a natural, easy to manage look" by the hairdresser.

7. Rubber Bullets. Wasn't this *banned* from TOTP? I'm sure I had a conversation about it in school the next day. None of us could figure out why it had been *banned*. Something to do with it featuring the word balls (once) possibly.

8. Life Is A Minestrone. Wonderfully giddy. I'll always remember the gormless girls dancing very badly in unison in front of the TOTP stage on this one. Sorry for the very butchered version, it's the only one on YouTube ...

9. The Wall Street Shuffle.

10. The Worst Band In The World. Whenever people slag off 10cc, they usually make a snide remark about them being "clever clever". This and the track above demonstrate that they were "clever clever". Are we all supposed to only listen to the first Ramones album for the rest of our lives?

Over and out: I'm off to a mystery location in a couple of days. You'd all better get those 10cc top tens on the go while I'm away, or a fog of hell will descend on the earth and our days in this life will be numbered. Get on the 10cc hotline.

Labels: , , , , ,

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?