Friday, September 05, 2008


Well this is a fucking excellent idea for a blogging project (is project the right word?).

If everyone in the world produces a 10cc top ten, the world will be a better place and Sarah Palin will spontaneously combust.

Anyway, I don't suppose anyone else will publish a 10cc top ten, and you want to know why? Because bloggers are a bunch of cunts, that's why!

Bloody bollocks to you all, anyway.

1. I'm Not In Love. Obviously the "menopause wives are hard to handle" choice. I keep wondering why I'm not sick to the back teeth of this song by now as everybody else of around my age is. Reminds me of the endlessly, mercilessly hot summers of the mid 1970's and my chronic hay fever inducing a mind altered state between June and September.

2. The fact that Geoff told me that when he was at an airport he saw a bloke in the arrivals section holding a sign saying "Kevin Godley" (note for younger readers: Kevin Godley was the boss eyed drummer in 10cc). Every time we get back from a holiday and go through customs one of us always says "Kevin Godley".

3. I'm Mandy, Fly Me. I was 12 and this was "my" Sergeant Pepper.

4. Neanderthal Man - Hot Legs. Prototype cc. Brutal, primal, pre-glam swampathon.

5. You Are My Love - Liverpool Express. Absolutely rubbish, but it still sounded a bit like I'm Not In Love, so I rate it highly for that reason. Reminds me of the endlessly, mercilessly hot summers of the mid 1970's and chronic hay fever inducing a mind altered state between June and September. I heard this in an out of town Homebase a few years ago and a Proustian rush flooded over me.

6. The fact that, when 10cc reached their nadir and had a huge hit with Dreadlock Holiday, Eric Stewart underlined the fact that they were irredeemably crap by having an awful wash and wear perm of the type sported by Kevin Keegan. This perm was advertised in a quarter page advert in my local football team's match programme: "THE SPORTSMAN'S DEMI WAVE FOR MEN HAS ARRIVED AT TONY'S UNISEX HAIR DESIGN" it announced. I bet Eric was advised to scrunch dry the new do "for a natural, easy to manage look" by the hairdresser.

7. Rubber Bullets. Wasn't this *banned* from TOTP? I'm sure I had a conversation about it in school the next day. None of us could figure out why it had been *banned*. Something to do with it featuring the word balls (once) possibly.

8. Life Is A Minestrone. Wonderfully giddy. I'll always remember the gormless girls dancing very badly in unison in front of the TOTP stage on this one. Sorry for the very butchered version, it's the only one on YouTube ...

9. The Wall Street Shuffle.

10. The Worst Band In The World. Whenever people slag off 10cc, they usually make a snide remark about them being "clever clever". This and the track above demonstrate that they were "clever clever". Are we all supposed to only listen to the first Ramones album for the rest of our lives?

Over and out: I'm off to a mystery location in a couple of days. You'd all better get those 10cc top tens on the go while I'm away, or a fog of hell will descend on the earth and our days in this life will be numbered. Get on the 10cc hotline.

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1. The Dean And I. Why, its scope is positively cinematic.

2. I'm Mandy, Fly Me. Especially the bit where the acoustic guitar comes in, and then it all builds up and up and... ohh.

3. Life Is A Minestrone. Fab 208 under the bedclothes, yadda yadda.

4. Donna. My sister and I thought they were funny on TopDiPop.

5. The Wall Street Shuffle. "Dow Jones ain't got time for the bums." A searing critique.

6. Rubber Bullets. You can't beat that glam-rock chunka-chunka-chunka beat.

7. Art For Art's Sake. We bought this for a party. Not a dancefloor anthem (that was "You Sexy Thing", obv).

8. I'm Not In Love. "It's just a w@nking phase I'm going through", we sang at school. What wags we were.

9. The Things We Do For Love. I'm starting to struggle a bit here.

10,000. Dreadlock Holiday. The "Safe European Home" that it's not cool to like.
I preferred them when they were Wayne Fontana and the Mindbenders.

I'm working on a 10cc Top Ten As we speak.
My life isn't a minestrone. It's more a lumpy Scotch broth containing unidentifiable bits of gristle.

It's all right for these rocks stars.
Punk blew 10cc away like tumbleweed, thank god.
Are you going somewhere that will require you to say "Kevin Godley" again?
Mike got there before me - Wayne Fontana is God.
I mean Strawberry Studios is in Stockport so I couldn't possibly enter into this discussion as I'm a cool sophisticated Mancunian.
Awesome idea..I just dropped off my list and ran back here to read your fab critique.
I loved 10cc...I remember the first time that I heard INIL,
prolly had the first successful narrative loop in a commercial Pop song...

Big Boys Don't Cry
Big Boys Don't Cry
Big Boys Don't Cry
in that sexy voice grrrr

It was wonderful and weird and the melody and overdubbing of the choral landscape totally blew me away...
I mean this was sneaking in between Muskrat Love and Having My Baby fer crissakes!
Anything a little less contemporary for us old folk?
Mike - I always thought that the line from Wall Street Shuffle was "Dow Jones ain't got time for the bus". Another terrible misheard 10cc lyric was "don't need a union - Barry and me" from Art For Art's Sake.

Murph - I'm only familiar with Groovy Kind Of Love, but then, I don't go back as far as you in dog years. I'm trying to get 10cc tumbleweed blowing everywhere in the blogosphere.

Garfer - that's what you get if you insist on eating Scotch broth. I don't know if punk blew anything away. As someone once said, its only real achievement was to make short hair and straight trousers fashionable for men again.

MJ - I may be, if not in a couple of days then probably at some point in the foreseeable future.

Kaz - I know Mancunians are very fussy about what constitutes Manchester. Apparently though most of the famous "Manchester" bands aren't actually from Manchester, so it's fair enough really.

Donnnnn - Having My Baby. Thanks for reminding me of that. One of the most mind blowingly awful songs ever. A Sarah Palin favourite, perhaps, what with the anti-abortion stance of the lyrics?

Vicus - there'll be a Kings Singers top ten along tomorrow.
Bets! Thanks so much for supporting this ridiculous endeavour! It's already starting to slowly build momentum...I will link to all the blogs n stuff in a week or so's time...maybe longer if it turns into a mexican wave....I suspect it'll mainly be the usual suspects, but it's all about creating unexpected connections with other people, places, times, etc but using 10cc as a faux-magical medium...thanks to everybody that's getting into the spirit of this! It's about reactivating memories, creating linkages...but having a bit of a laff too!

So, cheers to you all!
Eric Stewart always felt left out, because the other three would joke in Yiddish, leave mouldy latkes in his guitar case, call him "small nose", etc.

What about a Top Ten of bands who, like 10cc, took their name from eupemisms for gentlemanly emissions? Lovin' Spoonful; Pearl Jam; Bingo Handjob (aka REM); the Spunkers...
I'm very much into the fact they were a 3/4 jewish band (I always call myself 1/64th Jewish); it's one of the reasons I've become temporarily obsessed with them. I've become fascinated by the idea of a "Jewish baroque" (actually, a godley and creme term) - what does that mean, what other examples of it are there?

Tim - I very much like your idea for a top-10 - it's the sort of lateral take on this that I would wholeheartedly encourage - stupid, arcane, sideways connections that tumble off from the core kick-off point of 10cc...put it up on yr blog and I'll link to it as part of the 10cc 'project'...
Kek - that's the kind of thing I like about blogging. Off beam ideas and stuff that takes on a life of its own. Otherwise it just ends up with the boring diary format and people taking blogging "seriously". That's why I like the comments on this blog better than the posting - I like they way they go off at tangents. Still, it's all about getting a good publishing deal and being interviewed on Radio Four at the end of the day, isn't it? Apparently.

Tim - for some reason I expected there to be a 10cc section in the Manchester Jewish Museum. I've no idea why we ended up visiting the place but it was quite a good museum as museums go. Perhaps there WAS something about 10cc in there and I've forgotten it? As for the emissions idea, I think you may have already shot your load. I can't think of any more and it's just slowed down to a trickle.
10cc were the biz when I were a young 'un. I'm in.
Nothing wrong with being clever-clever. But I know nothing about 10cc.
Sorry Betts, not familiar with this band - before my time I guess!
"for some reason I expected there to be a 10cc section in the Manchester Jewish Museum" - Creme!

Don't let the fact that you know nothing about the band stop you from making something up!
I only know "I'm not in love", which I love.

And Kevin Keegan. Although his arms look curiously puny compared to the rest of him.
Out of blogging retirement to add "I unironically love 10cc". (And ELO, too).
In no particular order -

1. Donna

2. Old Wild Men

3. One night in Paris

4. Rubber Bullets

5. Don't hang up

6. I'm Mandy fly me

7. Art for Art's sake

8. Wall Street Shuffle

9. I'm not in Love (apart from the awful "big boys don't cwy" bit, obviously. It really is Music For Aiports" for FM radio, otherwise...)

10. Things we do for love (I love the schmaltzy Gouldman stuff...)
It's alright, I always have this effect...

Good job Im don't take it personally, really.


Mr Farty - hello & welcome. 10cc are still the biz!

Oyebilly - which is fair enough, because you're too young.

Tom - which is fair enough, because you're too young (um, hang on ... that can't be right ...)

Kek - double Creme! I may do an Andrew Gold post, if I can actually concentrate for long enough.

Inexplicabewl - Kevin Keegan? I used to hate him until he started to resign from every club he managed. I quite like that "I'm a complete failure as a human being" attitude, because I can empathise with it.

BBB - I know, I don't understand how people say they love anything "ironically". I do hope you've come out of blogging retirement by the way.

Bob - One Night In Paris didn't make my list because of the line "that's the way the croissant crumbles", otherwise - good choices.
Kevin Keegan looks like he has a rubber bullet down his rather short shorts in that picture if you ask me. If they made a film about 10cc I reckon writer Howard Jacobson would be a dead ringer for our Kevin. I had forgotten how prolific 10cc were. I like most of their songs apart from Life Is a Minestrone - one of their worst arrangements and shockingly poor lyrics. Did you know that Kevin G (no relation to Kenny) is also colour blind as well as boogy-eyed? True. Ta ta for now xx
RoMo - you're right about Howard Jacobson. Have they actually met? Or, as the cliche goes, has anyone seen them in the same room together? Kevin Godley was colour blind as well as being cross eyed and having a nervous tic? Such are the tortures which drive people to become rock stars (er, Gene Vincent and his gammy leg, Thom Yorke and his eye, etc.)
Yes - Rick Astley and his terrible inability to dance!
RoMo - how dare you take the mickey out of RickRoll, who is, after all, the Howlin' Wolf of Newton Le Willows? When Pete Waterman heard that teaboy sing he KNEW this was the closest that Britain would ever get to a Delta blues singer.
I've done my bit for the cause: http://gordiehotvimto.blogspot.com/2008/09/my-10cc-top-ten.html
Gordie - cheers for that Gordz!
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