Thursday, March 20, 2008


It's the beginning of the Easter break tomorrow. However, Easter in Britain this year is apparently going to look like this:

... but less picturesque in places like Welling or New Brighton, obviously.

To paraphrase lovely right wing anti abortionist Eurovision winner Dana, according to all sources, colder weather is on the way. There is a threat of three snowflakes bringing the national rail network to a halt.

As is traditional at this time of year, the TV news reporters feel compelled to describe the awful fate that awaits anyone who attempts to leave the country for warmer climes.

You may wish to keep a record of the number of times the following phrases are used in news reports:

"traffic chaos"
"engineering works on railways closing many stations"
"gridlocked roads as people leave work early"
"threatened strike by baggage handlers at many airports"
"disgruntled passengers face overnight waits as flights are cancelled"
"disgruntled junior TV reporters left to hold fort reading same cliched Easter-related stories every bloody year as more senior staff swan off on long haul flights to paradise islands"

Anyway, I should warn you that, hey ho, the next four days are going to be a *Higher Hell* and you will all be *hot cross bunnies*...

I'll be back tomorrow with a competition, for those of you who are left stranded, alone and sad at home.

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Fuck family, fuck religion and fuck the snow.
Easter weekend is for staying indoors, stocked up with DVDs, alcohol and junk food.
By Jove, Betty you've put your finger on it! If the junior subs weren't in control we wouldn't be told to nail up our doors and hide under the table.
Dive - that sounds like every other weekend of the year in our house though.

Murph - they're certainly getting their revenge on society because they can't progress at work, aren't they?
Oooo a competition!

I hope there won't be too many obscure British references?
MJ - it's a picture caption competition, so anyone, from anywhere in the world can take part, provided I can get a translator or can understand what they've saying in English ... so, doomed to failure then.
As every day is a holiday for me I shall take the Hoover on its trip just to make it a special day.

Then I'll do what Dive said.
Just in case I am prevented from tuning in tomorrow for the competition here are my answers:

1) Bertrand Russell.
2) It is illegal in Ghana but not the Ivory Coast.
3) Only in the back seat.
4) Stan and Hilda Ogden.
5) Wolves 4 Burnley 2.
I'll prolly be snowed in at Chez Scurra as well so I'm going to say..

1)Gottfried Leibniz
2)Côte d'Ivoire!!Honestly?!
3)Under The Boardwalk
4)Diana and James Hewitt
5)The Yellow Card for Gilardino's Dive...Disgraceful!
Who's idea was it to have Easter this early?

We're all travelling tomorrow. Daughter and stepdaughter by plane from Brum to Orkney, me by ferry to meet them, then all back to the island by ferry. Gales are predicted.

I look forward to hearing on the BBC how windy/wet/icy it is in Guildford.

Will be up for the compo tomorrow night.

And thanks for the Bunny's clip - always good for morale.
Will there be prizes?

Kaz is offering a Voodoo Kit over at HER quiz.
Kaz - once a year Hoovering? I might do the annual dusting, although I find that after a few months, dust finds its own level. Didn't Quentin Crisp say something to that effect?

Vicus - I'll bear this in mind, but am unable to say anything at this point under the International Blogger's Convention Ruling number 219b, subsection 167468c.

Donn - what I said to Vicus.

Malc - Easter seems to get earlier every year. Blimey, the combined journeys sound like something from that film I Know Where I'm Going. Best of luck. Thanks for watching the vid - nobody else ever seems to!

MJ - there will be a main prize, and some other prizes that I can scrabble together for any runners up. Remember the Mick Hucknall competition? I pull out all of the stops.
Wrong type of snow. That's one excuse that has been used in the past to explain train chaos. I wonder if we can use it as an excuse to go on a four day strike?
Istvanski - "too many fatalities on the line" - that would be a good enough excuse to go on a strike by anybody's standards. It's not snowing yet.
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