Friday, March 21, 2008
A TRUTH UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED
Well, it's Easter, so I've decided to pull out all of the stops and do one of my competitions.
God, it must be years since the last competition! Was it the prize of a fifteen foot inflatable Mick Hucknall that was airlifted over Wigan, with the runner up prize of a date with the Mick Hucknall lookalike?
Those were carefree, innocent days, before we bloggers all got book deals and fucked off to live in Manhattan! Now it's all business calls at three in the morning to Tokyo and five hours spent doing yoga with our personal trainers ... yawn! Now everything is so seeerious!
Anyway, recently we've been watching a lot of adaptations of Jane Austen novels that have been on BBC4, and excellent they are too. I'll write about them in more detail later ... perhaps.
There was some discussion about Austen's heroes and villains. Geoff wrote about this burning topic here. Still, most of you will be too lazy to click on the link, so I'll just summarise: heroes in Austen novels dress to the right; villains to the left.
... so that's the basis of the competition. Here is the double wedding scene in the final bit of Pride And Prejudice ...
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Use your skills to come up with an amusing (or pertinent, or poignant) caption for the above picture.
The best caption will win a slightly soiled Austen style empire line wedding dress from a St. John's Ambulance shop in Lincolnshire, of the sort that became fashionable after Pride And Prejudice was on television. It's the sort of dress that only suits thin willowy teenage girls, and makes every other woman look like a hod carrier on a drag night ... and, remember, it is slightly soiled.
I'm fully aware that this could be another Tumbleweed Post, as bloggers *flock to the airports*, causing *traffic chaos*, leaving only the housebound and that bloke Strangeways Alan who keeps sending me long, rambling and slightly too personal e-mails.
Still, happy Easter, one and all. Don't mind me :(
God, it must be years since the last competition! Was it the prize of a fifteen foot inflatable Mick Hucknall that was airlifted over Wigan, with the runner up prize of a date with the Mick Hucknall lookalike?
Those were carefree, innocent days, before we bloggers all got book deals and fucked off to live in Manhattan! Now it's all business calls at three in the morning to Tokyo and five hours spent doing yoga with our personal trainers ... yawn! Now everything is so seeerious!
Anyway, recently we've been watching a lot of adaptations of Jane Austen novels that have been on BBC4, and excellent they are too. I'll write about them in more detail later ... perhaps.
There was some discussion about Austen's heroes and villains. Geoff wrote about this burning topic here. Still, most of you will be too lazy to click on the link, so I'll just summarise: heroes in Austen novels dress to the right; villains to the left.
... so that's the basis of the competition. Here is the double wedding scene in the final bit of Pride And Prejudice ...
.jpg)
Use your skills to come up with an amusing (or pertinent, or poignant) caption for the above picture.
The best caption will win a slightly soiled Austen style empire line wedding dress from a St. John's Ambulance shop in Lincolnshire, of the sort that became fashionable after Pride And Prejudice was on television. It's the sort of dress that only suits thin willowy teenage girls, and makes every other woman look like a hod carrier on a drag night ... and, remember, it is slightly soiled.
I'm fully aware that this could be another Tumbleweed Post, as bloggers *flock to the airports*, causing *traffic chaos*, leaving only the housebound and that bloke Strangeways Alan who keeps sending me long, rambling and slightly too personal e-mails.
Still, happy Easter, one and all. Don't mind me :(
Labels: Easter, empire line dresses, Jane Austen, Mick Hucknall, ooh Mr Darcy, please leave a comment, tumbleweed posts
Sunday, February 24, 2008
I'LL GET YOU BUTLER, VOLUME TWO
Of course, the best thing about blogging is the response from you, the dearly loved and fondly missed reader. I love comments threads that go off on a tangent and the interaction between different commenters, especially as it doesn't involve much work for me.
Sometimes it's nice to get a response from monomaniacal, humourless anonymous fans who are indignant on behalf of their idol and have only found you from the twentieth page of a Google search.
So I was a bit jealous of the other half, who has been getting a few indignant comments from persons unknown who are smitten by the immensely charismatic Darius Danesh. This one turned up in Geoff's e-mail box today in response to his post about the choice of Darius to play Rhett Butler in Trevor Nunn's forthcoming stage version of Gone With The Wind:
"www.gwtwmusical.com I think is the url of the offical site, and it now has videos of Trevor nunn et all discussing casting - Darius evidently is the perfect Rhett. snippets of the music wil be added soon - anyone who has seen Darius on stage will know he has the charisma, stage presence an dability to play Rhett - in the book the description of Rhett IS Darius,"
Much as I can understand the commenter's point of view about Darius and his dability, I can't quite agree with it, and would suggest the following as more suitable to play Rhett:
Mark Lawrenson
Gary Coleman
Nobby Stiles
Pete Shelley of The Buzzcocks
Steve Diggle of The Buzzcocks
Norman Collier
Michael Cera
Michael Jackson
Boris Johnson
Tyrone "Mouthbreather" Dobbs from Coronation Street
Dot Cotton from Eastenders
Bez
Duncan Norville
Stephen Merchant
Roky Erickson
Iain Dowie
Ray "I Will Prevail" Winstone
Hugh Grant
Matt Lucas
David Vine
Daniel "That Weatherman With The Windmilling Arms" Corbett
Ronnie Corbett
My mum's cousin, Paul B*******
Bruce "Happy Birthday Brucie!!!!!!" Forsyth
Prince "Bloody Fucking Frankenstein" Philip
Perez Hilton
The drummer from Franz Ferdinand
Al Pacino
Richard Madeley
Any other suggestions to add to this list are most welcome.
Sometimes it's nice to get a response from monomaniacal, humourless anonymous fans who are indignant on behalf of their idol and have only found you from the twentieth page of a Google search.
So I was a bit jealous of the other half, who has been getting a few indignant comments from persons unknown who are smitten by the immensely charismatic Darius Danesh. This one turned up in Geoff's e-mail box today in response to his post about the choice of Darius to play Rhett Butler in Trevor Nunn's forthcoming stage version of Gone With The Wind:
"www.gwtwmusical.com I think is the url of the offical site, and it now has videos of Trevor nunn et all discussing casting - Darius evidently is the perfect Rhett. snippets of the music wil be added soon - anyone who has seen Darius on stage will know he has the charisma, stage presence an dability to play Rhett - in the book the description of Rhett IS Darius,"
Much as I can understand the commenter's point of view about Darius and his dability, I can't quite agree with it, and would suggest the following as more suitable to play Rhett:
Mark Lawrenson
Gary Coleman
Nobby Stiles
Pete Shelley of The Buzzcocks
Steve Diggle of The Buzzcocks
Norman Collier
Michael Cera
Michael Jackson
Boris Johnson
Tyrone "Mouthbreather" Dobbs from Coronation Street
Dot Cotton from Eastenders
Bez
Duncan Norville
Stephen Merchant
Roky Erickson
Iain Dowie
Ray "I Will Prevail" Winstone
Hugh Grant
Matt Lucas
David Vine
Daniel "That Weatherman With The Windmilling Arms" Corbett
Ronnie Corbett
My mum's cousin, Paul B*******
Bruce "Happy Birthday Brucie!!!!!!" Forsyth
Prince "Bloody Fucking Frankenstein" Philip
Perez Hilton
The drummer from Franz Ferdinand
Al Pacino
Richard Madeley
Any other suggestions to add to this list are most welcome.
Labels: Darius Danesh, Fears Forever, Gone With The Wind, monomania, please leave a comment, Rhett Butler, stalkers
Thursday, December 06, 2007
LEARNING CURVE
Gosh, crumbs, I'm publishing two posts in a row that have a strong visual element! What bad form! No wonder I don't have one of those acclaimed blogs!
Anyways, in the comments box on the previous post, Tom suggested ways to attract more feedback from readers.
Frankly, my comments level has been going down a bit in the last few weeks, and I'm desperate enough to do anything to attract attention, so I'll abide by his rules on this one.
(a) not too long a post
Indeed, so without further ado ...
(b) don't get serious about anything ever
I try my best not to.
(c) take a satirical stance (legs apart and one slightly forward of the other)
Hmm, difficult to visualise "a satirical stance". I don't really like Monty Python, but needs must ...
(d) always leave a hook in there for the girls who like to flirt and dream of romance (obviously, that's guys in your case)
So, a hook for all the male readers. Look out for my new up to the moment football results service, coming soon!
(e) regular posts about sex
the male organ
(... well, male organists)
and breasts
There you go. If I don't get at least a hundred comments and a job writing for the TV Quick after this post, then I will be suing Tom.
Anyways, in the comments box on the previous post, Tom suggested ways to attract more feedback from readers.
Frankly, my comments level has been going down a bit in the last few weeks, and I'm desperate enough to do anything to attract attention, so I'll abide by his rules on this one.
(a) not too long a post
Indeed, so without further ado ...
(b) don't get serious about anything ever
I try my best not to.
(c) take a satirical stance (legs apart and one slightly forward of the other)
Hmm, difficult to visualise "a satirical stance". I don't really like Monty Python, but needs must ...
(d) always leave a hook in there for the girls who like to flirt and dream of romance (obviously, that's guys in your case)
So, a hook for all the male readers. Look out for my new up to the moment football results service, coming soon!
(e) regular posts about sex
the male organ
(... well, male organists)
and breasts
There you go. If I don't get at least a hundred comments and a job writing for the TV Quick after this post, then I will be suing Tom.
Labels: blogging paranoia, breasts, frogs, John Cleese, neediness, not getting enough comments, please leave a comment, Reginald Dixon, Tom 909
