Sunday, June 26, 2011
THE EDGE HAS GOT HIS HAT ON
Bono before his weekly addressOn Friday night, U2's performance at Glastonbury was considered a triumph - proof indeed that many a good tune is played on an old fiddle.
Zane Lowe: half dead and killin' itThey were so life-enhancingly great that BBC continuity man Zane Lowe had to be treated by paramedics for what a spokesman calls "getting too over enthusiastic too soon in the weekend, even before Tame Impala were due to play". His colleague Jo Whiley immediately became pregnant for the eleventh time.
Jo Whiley: fertileSo it is with delight that I'm able to pass on a message from U2 frontman Bono. Now safe in his tax avoidance retreat - a turreted castle halfway up a Swiss alp - he delivered these Biblical lines:
"Deep within the primordial rock 'n' roll swamp the shadows move, acting out their shadowplay. Clarence Frogman Henry walks on water but croaks his last ... Jack Kerouac gets high on life and bangs to the beat of a different generation, on the road with Neal Cassady and the Sundance Kid. Elvis had his kiss curls and his lip curls and his hip swirls, sending the girls into raptures. Take a tour to the store, don't strain your brain.
The Pope speaks to me on Skype. He says "Hi Bono, what's happening on Planet Worthy Farm? Here am I, sitting in the Vatican, far above the moon. Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do".
Ian Curtis' arms wave in space semaphore signals. He's telling us ... he's telling us that the world has torn us apart again.
There's nothing we can do but orbit in our own space.
See yer!
Lots of love,
Bono xxx
Labels: Bono, Elvis Presley, Glastonbury, Ian Curtis, Jo Whiley, over enthusiasm, Tame Impala, the Pope, U2, Zane Lowe - B Boy
Friday, July 25, 2008
DESPERATE BUT NOT SERIOUS
Here's a running commentary from the recent BBC3 coverage of the first annual At One With Oneness Festival which took place last weekend just outside Grimsby.
Even though there have already been 96573 music festivals in Britain this summer, the At One With Oneness Festival is, say organisers, "a completely new and exciting concept".
The BBC cameras captured the highlights over the weekend. On hand were Radio One's Edith Bowman ...
Edith: muddy but amazing
... and Radio One's Zane Lowe (aka Zip Love, aka the New Zealand B-Boy, stop larffing at the back).
Zane interviews somebody or other on site, fuck knows who.
The camera cuts back to the studio, which is done out in the style of a barn, with haystacks and a zany papier mache cow. There has just been an OB featuring Rufus Hound interviewing the Moving Cardboard Theatre Co., who are dressed up as egg cartons.
Zane: "Thanks Rufus! Edith, I believe you've been having a bit of a walkabout and took in a few bands earlier today. Who've you seen?"
Edith: "Well, I went to see The Fratellis on the Hope And Serenity Stage."
Zane: "How were they?"
Edith: "What can I say? They were just ... amazing ... incredible. Then I moved on to the Recycled Pigeon Shit Stage halfway through Groove Armada's set."
Zane: "What were they like?"
Edith: "Oh, they were incredible, just amazing. The atmosphere was just amazing. I was amazed. After that I felt like I needed to, y'know, chill out a little bit so I went to the Acoustic Smugness Tent and saw Duffy doing a low key set."
Zane: "What was that like? A lot of people would say that people like Duffy don't belong at festivals ..."
Edith: "That's just ridiculous - she was amazing. That girl can sing! She was amazing. Anyway, I've been told that you've been hanging out at the Post Ironic Stage!"
Zane: "Ahem. This is true."
Edith: "And a little bird told me that you saw ... Engelbert Humperdinck! Wow! Amazing! What was he like???"
Zane: "I tell you man ... when he took to the stage I had my doubts. Does someone like Engelbert belong at a festival? But after a couple of numbers he rubbed into Please Release Me and I tell you, the crowd went crazy and he JUST KILLED IT! What can I say, the dude's a legend!"
Engelbert: killed it
Edith: "Amazing! Wow, who would've thought it! Anyway, now we're going over to three hours of highlights from The Editors' set because the singer knocked me up ... but they were just amazing."
Even though there have already been 96573 music festivals in Britain this summer, the At One With Oneness Festival is, say organisers, "a completely new and exciting concept".
The BBC cameras captured the highlights over the weekend. On hand were Radio One's Edith Bowman ...
Edith: muddy but amazing
... and Radio One's Zane Lowe (aka Zip Love, aka the New Zealand B-Boy, stop larffing at the back).
Zane interviews somebody or other on site, fuck knows who.
The camera cuts back to the studio, which is done out in the style of a barn, with haystacks and a zany papier mache cow. There has just been an OB featuring Rufus Hound interviewing the Moving Cardboard Theatre Co., who are dressed up as egg cartons.
Zane: "Thanks Rufus! Edith, I believe you've been having a bit of a walkabout and took in a few bands earlier today. Who've you seen?"
Edith: "Well, I went to see The Fratellis on the Hope And Serenity Stage."
Zane: "How were they?"
Edith: "What can I say? They were just ... amazing ... incredible. Then I moved on to the Recycled Pigeon Shit Stage halfway through Groove Armada's set."
Zane: "What were they like?"
Edith: "Oh, they were incredible, just amazing. The atmosphere was just amazing. I was amazed. After that I felt like I needed to, y'know, chill out a little bit so I went to the Acoustic Smugness Tent and saw Duffy doing a low key set."
Zane: "What was that like? A lot of people would say that people like Duffy don't belong at festivals ..."
Edith: "That's just ridiculous - she was amazing. That girl can sing! She was amazing. Anyway, I've been told that you've been hanging out at the Post Ironic Stage!"
Zane: "Ahem. This is true."
Edith: "And a little bird told me that you saw ... Engelbert Humperdinck! Wow! Amazing! What was he like???"
Zane: "I tell you man ... when he took to the stage I had my doubts. Does someone like Engelbert belong at a festival? But after a couple of numbers he rubbed into Please Release Me and I tell you, the crowd went crazy and he JUST KILLED IT! What can I say, the dude's a legend!"
Engelbert: killed it
Edith: "Amazing! Wow, who would've thought it! Anyway, now we're going over to three hours of highlights from The Editors' set because the singer knocked me up ... but they were just amazing."
Labels: amazingness of everything, Edith Bowman, Engelbert Humperdinck - dude, Groove Armada, mud, Rufus fucking Hound, The Fratellis, Zane Lowe - B Boy
