Sunday, June 26, 2011
THE EDGE HAS GOT HIS HAT ON
Bono before his weekly addressOn Friday night, U2's performance at Glastonbury was considered a triumph - proof indeed that many a good tune is played on an old fiddle.
Zane Lowe: half dead and killin' itThey were so life-enhancingly great that BBC continuity man Zane Lowe had to be treated by paramedics for what a spokesman calls "getting too over enthusiastic too soon in the weekend, even before Tame Impala were due to play". His colleague Jo Whiley immediately became pregnant for the eleventh time.
Jo Whiley: fertileSo it is with delight that I'm able to pass on a message from U2 frontman Bono. Now safe in his tax avoidance retreat - a turreted castle halfway up a Swiss alp - he delivered these Biblical lines:
"Deep within the primordial rock 'n' roll swamp the shadows move, acting out their shadowplay. Clarence Frogman Henry walks on water but croaks his last ... Jack Kerouac gets high on life and bangs to the beat of a different generation, on the road with Neal Cassady and the Sundance Kid. Elvis had his kiss curls and his lip curls and his hip swirls, sending the girls into raptures. Take a tour to the store, don't strain your brain.
The Pope speaks to me on Skype. He says "Hi Bono, what's happening on Planet Worthy Farm? Here am I, sitting in the Vatican, far above the moon. Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do".
Ian Curtis' arms wave in space semaphore signals. He's telling us ... he's telling us that the world has torn us apart again.
There's nothing we can do but orbit in our own space.
See yer!
Lots of love,
Bono xxx
Labels: Bono, Elvis Presley, Glastonbury, Ian Curtis, Jo Whiley, over enthusiasm, Tame Impala, the Pope, U2, Zane Lowe - B Boy
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
REDS UNDER THE BED
This is a post dedicated to former Manchester United players who are now team coaches.
The loathsome Steve Bruce now looks like a dinner lady.
Steve Coppell is the gloomiest man in football. He has the permanently haunted quality of someone who has never recovered from a major disappointment in life. This is indeed the case. I can remember when he announced his early retirement from football on Match Of The Day due to an awful and persistent knee injury. He burst into tears. He is too sensitive for this world, let alone the world of team management. The Ian Curtis of the beautiful game, indeed.
The bearded Roy Keane now looks as if he should be hosting a Trevor And Simon's World Of The Strange-type TV programme. He should have an extensive wardrobe of black polo neck jumpers which he wears with a pentangle on a long silver chain around his neck. No doubt he's already getting morbidly obese women in kaftans who have frizzy hair coming up to him in pubs, telling him about the time they stayed at a boarding house in Devon and felt A STRANGE PRESENCE in the dining room, and that they felt that THEY'D BEEN THERE BEFORE, BUT THEY COULDN'T EXPLAIN WHYYYYYYYYY.
The loathsome Steve Bruce now looks like a dinner lady.
Steve Coppell is the gloomiest man in football. He has the permanently haunted quality of someone who has never recovered from a major disappointment in life. This is indeed the case. I can remember when he announced his early retirement from football on Match Of The Day due to an awful and persistent knee injury. He burst into tears. He is too sensitive for this world, let alone the world of team management. The Ian Curtis of the beautiful game, indeed.
The bearded Roy Keane now looks as if he should be hosting a Trevor And Simon's World Of The Strange-type TV programme. He should have an extensive wardrobe of black polo neck jumpers which he wears with a pentangle on a long silver chain around his neck. No doubt he's already getting morbidly obese women in kaftans who have frizzy hair coming up to him in pubs, telling him about the time they stayed at a boarding house in Devon and felt A STRANGE PRESENCE in the dining room, and that they felt that THEY'D BEEN THERE BEFORE, BUT THEY COULDN'T EXPLAIN WHYYYYYYYYY.
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Labels: Ian Curtis, Manchester United, Roy Keane, Steve Bruce, Steve Coppell, Trevor And Simon
