Wednesday, August 04, 2010
THE WAG CLUB
Betty is AWAY. She's deeply imbibing the bracing airs of Tenby during the daytime and sipping Creme De Menthe and reading secondhand Catherine Cookson paperbacks that smell of stale milk in the static caravan of an evening.
Therefore, another guest columnist is brought to the helm.
Alex Gerrard is the lovely, fragrant wife of charismatic Liverpool and England footballer Steven. The former nail technician (cf: Wikipedia) has a distinguished career as a newspaper columnist. Her opinions have been sought by think tanks and her no nonsense, brutal but forward thinking views on tackling world recession have become the basis of the current coalition government's policy.
Here is a unique insight into one of the great minds of our age. You lucky, lucky people.
"R. A.!! I rairly like them hareeeem pants in the shops, they're dead sound!! I saw a dead nice pair in Cricket the other day, they were what the fashionistas call "greige" or summat like that, and they 'ad all these pleats round the front and they were in this silky drapey material and they were dead high waisted an' all, and I was honestly gonna get 'em there and then but I 'ad second thoughts because I thought they might make me look like me nan goin' the bingo on Wednesday nights! What do you think???"
Labels: guest columnists, hareeeem pants, high waists, MENSA, Steven Gerrard, style icons, WAGS
Saturday, May 19, 2007
HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW
Being a common person, I was stood in a long queue in a common person's shop yesterday. I was shocked, stunned and amazed to see that three of the women in front of me had pobs. This hairstyle is sweeping the nation. Well, the streets around where I live, and that's good enough for me.
The pob is the hairdo which seems to have been decreed fashionable about a year ago, but really took off when it appeared on the bonce of Victoria Beckham - trained dancer, former Spice Girl, social X-ray, **fashion designer**, wife of multi millionaire-but-well-past-his-best-but-why-should-he-care-when-he's-that-loaded footballer David Beckham and loving mother to Romeo, Alfa and Nissan Micra.
The hair is cropped in at the nape, and sweeps into a longer length at the front, with a few choppy bits to differentiate it from the sort of hairstyle created by Vidal Sassoon in the mid 1960's.
In the case of all the women I see wearing the new look, their formerly long, ironed hair, with the side parting and the stripey ash blonde, champagne and beige blonde highlights and toffee, honey, caramel, chestnut and bitter chocolate lowlights now looks more or less the same but shorn of length.
It looks as though a little hobgoblin gardener with a little hobgoblin gardener's lawnmower has run amuck in their hair overnight while they were sleeping.
In the worst cases, it also has the effect of making the wearer look like a medieval simpleton.
Oh dear.
Another post about bobs along shortly.
Back to the Atwood.
Labels: can I have some cafe au lait highlights please, cheer up darlin' it might never happen, face like a bulldog chewing a wasp, so where are you going on your holidays this year?, social x-rays, WAGS
