Sunday, March 16, 2008
HAND RELIEF 2
The Sport Relief weekend continues, and is set to carry on into the next decade.
Today, BBC1 featured Sport Relief Mile, a programme based on countrywide mile long fundraising runs.
The programme lasted for three and a half hours.
Even a centenarian one legged tortoise could complete a mile race in less than three and a half hours.
In fact, Pinta Island tortoise Lonesome George (the last survivor of his species, and estimated to be at least sixty years old) completed the mile today on one of the Galapagos Islands in a personal best time of 17:32 minutes.
George: fast off the marks
Later, BBC 1 continued with the interminable charideethon coverage in the form of Antique Roadshow Sport Relief Special (if you don't believe me, look it up in your TV guide). The highlight of this was Dishy Michael Aspel attempting to complete an It's A Knockout style obstacle course carrying a Victorian tureen in one hand and a Ming vase in the other, while balancing a miniature of a Turner seascape on his head. Commentary was provided by Stuart Hall and there were *hilarious* consequences.
Today, BBC1 featured Sport Relief Mile, a programme based on countrywide mile long fundraising runs.
The programme lasted for three and a half hours.
Even a centenarian one legged tortoise could complete a mile race in less than three and a half hours.
In fact, Pinta Island tortoise Lonesome George (the last survivor of his species, and estimated to be at least sixty years old) completed the mile today on one of the Galapagos Islands in a personal best time of 17:32 minutes.
George: fast off the marks
Later, BBC 1 continued with the interminable charideethon coverage in the form of Antique Roadshow Sport Relief Special (if you don't believe me, look it up in your TV guide). The highlight of this was Dishy Michael Aspel attempting to complete an It's A Knockout style obstacle course carrying a Victorian tureen in one hand and a Ming vase in the other, while balancing a miniature of a Turner seascape on his head. Commentary was provided by Stuart Hall and there were *hilarious* consequences.
Labels: Alan Shearer grew a beard or something, charidee, Stuart Hall, tortoises
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
SHELLSHOCK
Due to the increasingly mild winters, tortoises are having difficulties getting into the mood for hibernation, according to the esteemed Metro.The solution to this problem, apparently, is to stick them in a fridge.
People of my generation were brought up to believe that tortoises should spend about eight months a year in a cardboard box full of straw. This was due to the Blue Peter presenters' treatment of transgender pet Fred/Freda.
Face it, tortoises are not really the most charismatic of animals, are they? I think my cousin's pet, though, may have been the exception to the rule.
He went missing for about two days ...
... only to be found a couple of miles away from my cousin's house, having walked uphill over some fields.
He was waiting at a bus stop.
I bet he'd got it all planned: the bus from the Midlands village to Walsall; a connecting bus to Birmingham and a train to Euston.
Small town life isn't for everybody, after all.
Labels: Blue Peter, shellshock, the streets of London are paved with gold (not), tortoises, transgender pets
