Saturday, April 05, 2008
ANOTHER GIRL, ANOTHER PLANET
Television's Later With Joooooolllls Holland returned to television screens this week, kicking off a fifty seventh series of this tremendous live music on television series.
For f*cks sake: did any else see The Only Ones? Brilliant band in the late '70s. They now all look as if they are in their late 70's, at least.
The guitarist still plays that guitar bit in the once tremendous Another Girl, Another Planet impressively enough, but Peter Perrett now sings in the style of David Rappaport trying to morph into Albert Steptoe trying to morph into Harold Steptoe. He wears horse dentures and looks like Albert Steptoe trying to morph into Keith Richard trying to morph into Peter Perrett.
He has survived a long standing drug *problem* but is the ultimate demonstration of why it's probably not a good idea to have a *problem* with drugs in the first place.
The guitarist still plays that guitar bit in the once tremendous Another Girl, Another Planet impressively enough, but Peter Perrett now sings in the style of David Rappaport trying to morph into Albert Steptoe trying to morph into Harold Steptoe. He wears horse dentures and looks like Albert Steptoe trying to morph into Keith Richard trying to morph into Peter Perrett.
He has survived a long standing drug *problem* but is the ultimate demonstration of why it's probably not a good idea to have a *problem* with drugs in the first place.
Jooolllls attempts to interview Woman Of The Moment, Adele, who advises us that, if the music career doesn't work out, she will "train to be a journalist so I can interview journalists or summink".
In the background, Lenny Henry drools. Apparently, he had been deep in conversation with Adele earlier.
"Yeah, Adele's a fit piece" said Lenny, 53. "We're more than just mates, y'know? She reminds me of Dawn when she was younger - really fun loving and a hefty lass. I like a bird with something you can grab hold of."
I'm going to listen to The Big Sleep by The Only Ones now.
I'm going to listen to The Big Sleep by The Only Ones now.
Labels: Adele, boogie woogie piano, David Rappaport, horse dentures, Steptoe And Son, The Only Ones
Thursday, December 20, 2007
GURLL POWER
Most annoying Christmas advertising campaign so far? Boots for their "Here Come The Gurlls" one, which seems to be a rip off of the videos for the Rachel Stevens song Some Girls or, ahem, Vindaloo by Fat Les, but with what advertising executive dimwits would call "funky music that will appeal to the young funky career woman demographic".
Basically, it shows a load of hot young gurlls preparing for an office party. Fair enough, there are a couple of barely glimpsed older *ladies* among the fifteen year olds from the model agency, but the plain, frumpy, overweight or tired middle aged women who would normally make up about ninety nine per cent of the workforce of this seemingly huge company have been elbowed out of the ad. What a dream for the creepy married blokes who work there, eh? They must really be looking forward to the Christmas do.
Oh, and the use of that word, "gurlls" ... it's what cheeky market traders have always done to flatter older women. "C''mon gurlls, greengages daahn to a florin a paahnd!" they've said through the centuries. Those market traders, and the twats who've dreamed up the Boots campaign, are patronising bastards. Show me a woman beyond her mid twenties who likes to be called a "gurll" and I'll show you a sadly deluded fool.
Oh, and the use of that word, "gurlls" ... it's what cheeky market traders have always done to flatter older women. "C''mon gurlls, greengages daahn to a florin a paahnd!" they've said through the centuries. Those market traders, and the twats who've dreamed up the Boots campaign, are patronising bastards. Show me a woman beyond her mid twenties who likes to be called a "gurll" and I'll show you a sadly deluded fool.
Even worse, you have to hear the (otherwise quite nice) "Here Come The Gurlls" music whenever you go into Boots to buy your jam rags or Umberto Gianni scrunching mousette gellee complex, accompanied by the dulcet tones of the woman who always does voiceovers on Boots special offers. She combines being "sexily husky" with sounding as if she is wearing horse dentures ... presumably so that she will appeal to the "young funky career woman demographic" such as the likes of me. Har har.
She is probably a BAFTA winning actress who I have never heard of, mind.
Labels: advertising executive wankers, Boots, Ernie K. Doe, Fat Les, Gurlls, horse dentures, horse faced women, Rachel Stevens, tired middle aged women, Umberto Gianni hair products
