Thursday, June 07, 2007
BEEFY SHOWERS
Last year's summer holiday in Ibiza was ruined by my menstrual cycle.
To prevent a repeat of what is now known as Blobgate, it was decided that this year we'd go away for two weeks' holiday. Despite my body's best efforts, I can't menstruate for a fortnight.
Hooray. One less problem.
We also decided to holiday in Britain. There would be no stressful air travel, with the possibility of lost suitcases, the confusion over what you can and can't take on board, the hassle of a long journey from car to check-in to lounge to plane to customs to taxi to hotel while ... er, menstruating.
In the past few years, the weeks we've been abroad in June have always been lovely in Britain. I would come back home to find the garden parched and all my bedding plants withered away. Well, you need to change them anyway by mid June, don't you?
It was the solution that was staring us in the face! Why bother going to the Balearics or Canaries when the weather is lovely here, and the holiday will be cheaper?
So ...
On Saturday we travel to Cornwall.
My ovaries have helpfully made a few adjustments so that the menace of a long journey to the Southwest will most probably be endured on the rag.
All of the weather forecasts indicate that next week in Cornwall there will be RAIN every day.
Anyone who wants to say something about global warming will feel the back of my hand.
To prevent a repeat of what is now known as Blobgate, it was decided that this year we'd go away for two weeks' holiday. Despite my body's best efforts, I can't menstruate for a fortnight.
Hooray. One less problem.
We also decided to holiday in Britain. There would be no stressful air travel, with the possibility of lost suitcases, the confusion over what you can and can't take on board, the hassle of a long journey from car to check-in to lounge to plane to customs to taxi to hotel while ... er, menstruating.
In the past few years, the weeks we've been abroad in June have always been lovely in Britain. I would come back home to find the garden parched and all my bedding plants withered away. Well, you need to change them anyway by mid June, don't you?
It was the solution that was staring us in the face! Why bother going to the Balearics or Canaries when the weather is lovely here, and the holiday will be cheaper?
So ...
On Saturday we travel to Cornwall.
My ovaries have helpfully made a few adjustments so that the menace of a long journey to the Southwest will most probably be endured on the rag.
All of the weather forecasts indicate that next week in Cornwall there will be RAIN every day.
Anyone who wants to say something about global warming will feel the back of my hand.
Labels: Aunt Flo, bloody English weather, Cornish pasties, Jethro, ranting, the blob, the curse
