Tuesday, March 18, 2008


It's the parlour game they're all playing, from coast to coast! The best Sun-type headlines about the verdict of the Mills/McCartney case!

Here are a few, for instance:

1. Apparently, an angry Heather Mills threw a glass of water over Paul's lawyer Fiona Shackleton:


2. It's a little known fact that Heather is being "consoled" by annoying falsetto voiced Freddie Mercury tribute act Mika, even though most of us would assume that he caught the other bus! Mika has felt that he has to speak out on behalf of Heather, and will tell all in an expose of the "dark side" of Paul McCartney in the News Of The World:


3. It has recently emerged that Fiona Shackleton has been "getting close" to '90's reggae star and erstwhile Mr Loverman, Shabba Ranks:


Over to you ...

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Di's "rock" and assett stripper St Paul of Burrell shoves his unwanted oar in over custody of fine champagne collection....

Burrell scrapes Barrel in Beatle Bottle Battle

(queue more tumbleweed..)
Burrell escapes to Cornish coastal village much beloved of public school holidaymakers, with pilfered engagement ring and new showbiz friends, Victoria Beckham and Chris Rock:

Posh Rock Rocks Up In Posh Rock with Posh Rock, Posh and Rock

I know that had nothing whatever to do with Mucca and Macca, but I'm already mentally exhausted from making up supergroups at Tim's blog.
Murph - that's the spirit! Mind you, I think this is going to be another Tumbleweed Post, because everyone will think that they have to come up with a headline so they won't bother commenting :( I mean, if they just want to say Heather Mills is a moneygrabbing witch or something, I don't mind! I'm just grateful to get any comments these days!

*starts weeping hysterically*
Patroclus - it was good enough for me! Tim's one is out of my league. Don't have enough grounding in 19th Century Swiss philosophers for a start. I still remember the complete mess I made of the World Football Eleven featuring Nietzsche over on Kaliyuga Kronicles a couple of years ago ... sigh ...
Heather Mills rns off with her millions to costal resort to live a better life
"She sells sea shells by the sea shore"
(Fact: All. My. Own)
The victors (of a sort) celebrate victory

Shackle tackles Macca's waccy baccy
Heather is seen arguing with her lawyer in Jamie Oliver's restaurant.

Mucca bickers over pukker tikka.
Robbie - thanks. I prefer to think of Heather living in the sea rather than by it. A nice spot in the middle of the North Sea in a dinghy should keep her well out of harm's way.

Geoff - no doubt Heather would be trying to figure out if the tikka was genuinely vegan or if some sort of tofu slaughter occurred in the kitchens. She's always struck me as being someone who has overindulged in the waccy baccy.
Macca and Shakka shake a wooden leg and sing Jake the Peg.

Large doubles all round.
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Garfer - I can imagine them doing that actually. Heather has so far resisted the temptation to say that the verdict hasn't left her with a leg to stand on. Can't think why.
Overweight McCartney criticised for spitting on judge's pocketwatch, then denying it.

"Heather Mills is a moneygrabbing witch"

(bit hard on witches though)
Tim - excellent. Presumably that's a few years down the line when a senile Macca attempts to sue Yoko Ono.

Ziggi - agreed! Heather Mills gives everyone a bad name.

Kaz - they've never lived up (er, down) to that headline, have they? Howzabout "Heather Mills caught in passionate embrace with Chas from Chas & Dave: GERCHA!"
..utterly dissillusioned with public life, McCartney sets out on a solitary journey through the Olympic wilderness, defeating an unfriendly Native American along the way in a forest free-for all...


...dang i think i sprained something.
How about a little Sly and the Family Stone...

Boom whack-a-cash-from-macca
Boom whack-a-cash-from-macca
First Nations - sounds like a good film script. Dunno who is going to play Macca though.

Donn - damn right! There's a riot goin' on!
Ooh, First Nations made me laugh.
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