Sunday, October 05, 2008
JOSH WINK
We watched the televised US Vice-Presidential debate while drunk. I'm sure it would've made less sense if we'd been sober.
I'm not sure what Americans mean when they talk about "The Middle Class". Joe Biden kept referring to The Hard Done By Middle Class throughout the *debate* as the target demographic who should be voting for Barack Obama. Is The Hard Done By Middle Class really basically anyone who works in America who isn't an evil fat cat who has creamed off the profits of Wall Street? I've always been told that America doesn't have a class system, whereas Britain is dragged down by class difference. Anyone who knows the truth about this - please enlighten me!
Sarah Palin of course goes overboard in trying to convince the world that she is One Of Us, the mad cow. She's got her ear to the ground and knows what the parents at the soccer game are thinking on a Saturday afternoon. Of course, parents immediately know what the truth is and have a right to get up onto the moral high ground. Sarah namechecked her bloody Hockey Moms and Joe Six Pack, whoever the fuck he is ...
As Geoff said, "does Joe Six Pack have a six pack stomach, or is he a fat slob who sits in front of the telly with a six pack of Budweiser?"
Joe Biden had to claw back some righteousness by mentioning that he was a single parent. God forbid that a politician should give the impression of being cold, unemotional and, worse still, doesn't have a hard luck story to pull the heartstrings ... or, even worse than that, ISN'T A PARENT!
I'm not sure what Americans mean when they talk about "The Middle Class". Joe Biden kept referring to The Hard Done By Middle Class throughout the *debate* as the target demographic who should be voting for Barack Obama. Is The Hard Done By Middle Class really basically anyone who works in America who isn't an evil fat cat who has creamed off the profits of Wall Street? I've always been told that America doesn't have a class system, whereas Britain is dragged down by class difference. Anyone who knows the truth about this - please enlighten me!
Sarah Palin of course goes overboard in trying to convince the world that she is One Of Us, the mad cow. She's got her ear to the ground and knows what the parents at the soccer game are thinking on a Saturday afternoon. Of course, parents immediately know what the truth is and have a right to get up onto the moral high ground. Sarah namechecked her bloody Hockey Moms and Joe Six Pack, whoever the fuck he is ...
As Geoff said, "does Joe Six Pack have a six pack stomach, or is he a fat slob who sits in front of the telly with a six pack of Budweiser?"
Joe Biden had to claw back some righteousness by mentioning that he was a single parent. God forbid that a politician should give the impression of being cold, unemotional and, worse still, doesn't have a hard luck story to pull the heartstrings ... or, even worse than that, ISN'T A PARENT!
Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin tried to mention how enthusiastic she was about drilling for oil in Alaska every bloody five seconds. Not that she has any vested interests, of course, but it's important that the US can become self sufficient, so that the US doesn't have to have anything whatsoever to do with any of the other ghastly countries in the world unless they go to war with them.
Both parties were in full agreement about the fact that same sex couples shouldn't be allowed to marry, although apparently it's okay for them to have civil ceremonies. America, land of the free ... up to a point.
The biggest talking point post-debate, however, has been about Sarah Palin's wink. Er, as it were.
Should somebody who winks on live television be allowed to become Vice President Of The Land Of The Free? Is it a sign that she doesn't have respect for the American Constitution or the American Public? WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF JOHN MCCAIN DROPS DEAD AND SHE BECOMES PRESIDENT?
I MEAN -FUCK!!! THE LEADER OF THE WESTERN WORLD WILL BE SOME BINT WHO WINKS AT THE DROP OF A HAT!!!! WHAT WILL THE EYERAYNIACS IN EYERAN THINK, AS THEY POINT THEIR NUKILLER WEAPONS AT AMERICA, ISRAEL AND EVERY GODDAMN FREE COUNTRY IN THE FREE WORLD? THAT'S ALL IT'S GOING TO TAKE TO GET THEM TO PUSH THE BUTTON ON THOSE GODDAMN NUKILLER WARHEADS AND KERBOOM!!!! IT'S THE END OF HUMANITY!!! ALL BECAUSE SOME PRE MENOPAUSAL BINT COULDN'T STOP WINKING FLIRTATIOUSLY AND PROVING TO THE MOOSLIM MAD MULLAHS THAT WESTERN WOMEN ARE DECADENT, SEX MAD HARRIDANS READY TO LEAD MEN INTO A LIFE OF VICE!!!!
... or perhaps it's just a nervous tic? That's even worse: it would be like having Kevin Godley as Vice President of The USA, or that bloke who used to sing with Brian And Michael about Matchstalk Men And Matchstalk Cats And Dogs.
Both parties were in full agreement about the fact that same sex couples shouldn't be allowed to marry, although apparently it's okay for them to have civil ceremonies. America, land of the free ... up to a point.
The biggest talking point post-debate, however, has been about Sarah Palin's wink. Er, as it were.
Should somebody who winks on live television be allowed to become Vice President Of The Land Of The Free? Is it a sign that she doesn't have respect for the American Constitution or the American Public? WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF JOHN MCCAIN DROPS DEAD AND SHE BECOMES PRESIDENT?
I MEAN -FUCK!!! THE LEADER OF THE WESTERN WORLD WILL BE SOME BINT WHO WINKS AT THE DROP OF A HAT!!!! WHAT WILL THE EYERAYNIACS IN EYERAN THINK, AS THEY POINT THEIR NUKILLER WEAPONS AT AMERICA, ISRAEL AND EVERY GODDAMN FREE COUNTRY IN THE FREE WORLD? THAT'S ALL IT'S GOING TO TAKE TO GET THEM TO PUSH THE BUTTON ON THOSE GODDAMN NUKILLER WARHEADS AND KERBOOM!!!! IT'S THE END OF HUMANITY!!! ALL BECAUSE SOME PRE MENOPAUSAL BINT COULDN'T STOP WINKING FLIRTATIOUSLY AND PROVING TO THE MOOSLIM MAD MULLAHS THAT WESTERN WOMEN ARE DECADENT, SEX MAD HARRIDANS READY TO LEAD MEN INTO A LIFE OF VICE!!!!
... or perhaps it's just a nervous tic? That's even worse: it would be like having Kevin Godley as Vice President of The USA, or that bloke who used to sing with Brian And Michael about Matchstalk Men And Matchstalk Cats And Dogs.
American Politics confuses me. The American electoral process confuses me. I didn't understand all of the business about hanging chads in the election before last. I don't suppose it really matters if I do.
The only thing that I have found out is that Sarah Palin is a favourite MILF. This means that a lot of blokes have been doing a lot of winking when thinking about her.
Labels: being drunk, drunk blogging, hockey moms, Joe Biden, MILF, Sarah Palin, tugging heartstrings, US elections, winking
