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Sunday, October 05, 2008

JOSH WINK 

We watched the televised US Vice-Presidential debate while drunk. I'm sure it would've made less sense if we'd been sober.

I'm not sure what Americans mean when they talk about "The Middle Class".  Joe Biden kept referring to The Hard Done By Middle Class throughout the *debate* as the target demographic who should be voting for Barack Obama. Is The Hard Done By Middle Class really basically anyone who works in America who isn't an evil fat cat who has creamed off the profits of Wall Street? I've always been told that America doesn't have a class system, whereas Britain is dragged down by class difference. Anyone who knows the truth about this - please enlighten me!

Sarah Palin of course goes overboard in trying to convince the world that she is One Of Us, the mad cow. She's got her ear to the ground and knows what the parents at the soccer game are thinking on a Saturday afternoon. Of course, parents immediately know what the truth is and have a right to get up onto the moral high ground. Sarah namechecked her bloody Hockey Moms and Joe Six Pack, whoever the fuck he is ...

As Geoff said, "does Joe Six Pack have a six pack stomach, or is he a fat slob who sits in front of the telly with a six pack of Budweiser?"

Joe Biden had to claw back some righteousness by mentioning that he was a single parent. God forbid that a politician should give the impression of being cold, unemotional and, worse still, doesn't have a hard luck story to pull the heartstrings ... or, even worse than that, ISN'T A PARENT!

Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin tried to mention how enthusiastic she was about drilling for oil in Alaska every bloody five seconds.  Not that she has any vested interests, of course, but it's important that the US can become self sufficient, so that the US doesn't have to have anything whatsoever to do with any of the other ghastly countries in the world unless they go to war with them.  

Both parties were in full agreement about the fact that same sex couples shouldn't be allowed to marry, although apparently it's okay for them to have civil ceremonies. America, land of the free ... up to a point.

The biggest talking point post-debate, however, has been about Sarah Palin's wink. Er, as it were.


Should somebody who winks on live television be allowed to become Vice President Of The Land Of The Free? Is it a sign that she doesn't have respect for the American Constitution or the American Public? WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF JOHN MCCAIN DROPS DEAD AND SHE BECOMES PRESIDENT?

I MEAN -FUCK!!! THE LEADER OF THE WESTERN WORLD WILL BE SOME BINT WHO WINKS AT THE DROP OF A HAT!!!! WHAT WILL THE EYERAYNIACS IN EYERAN THINK, AS THEY POINT THEIR NUKILLER WEAPONS AT AMERICA, ISRAEL AND EVERY GODDAMN FREE COUNTRY IN THE FREE WORLD? THAT'S ALL IT'S GOING TO TAKE TO GET THEM TO PUSH THE BUTTON ON THOSE GODDAMN NUKILLER WARHEADS AND KERBOOM!!!! IT'S THE END OF HUMANITY!!! ALL BECAUSE SOME PRE MENOPAUSAL BINT COULDN'T STOP WINKING FLIRTATIOUSLY AND PROVING TO THE MOOSLIM MAD MULLAHS THAT WESTERN WOMEN ARE DECADENT, SEX MAD HARRIDANS READY TO LEAD MEN INTO A LIFE OF VICE!!!!

... or perhaps it's just a nervous tic? That's even worse: it would be like having Kevin Godley as Vice President of The USA, or that bloke who used to sing with Brian And Michael about Matchstalk Men And Matchstalk Cats And Dogs.

American Politics confuses me.  The American electoral process confuses me.  I didn't understand all of the business about hanging chads in the election before last.  I don't suppose it really matters if I do.

The only thing that I have found out is that Sarah Palin is a favourite MILF.  This means that a lot of blokes have been doing a lot of winking when thinking about her.

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Comments:
Well, she has the edge on that Dan Quale bloke who couldn't even spell potato properly.

I don't think we're in much of a position to take the moral high ground when Peter Meddlesome, the creepiest and slimiest politician in the world, is back in a position of power.

I think Christine Bleakley should be world dictator. I'd be her lickspittle acolyte any day.
 
Are you asking, 'would I fuck Sarah Palin?'. With a wink like that how could I resist her!
But seriously, of course I would, and so would most of America, which is presumably why she is McCain's back-up. So how bad does she have to be that McCain's ratings have plummetted since she came on board - and she might end up president of the US of A. God help us all!
 
I think some of us were having a few grave doubts about her even before the wink, but 'fraid the wink's a deal breaker for me.

As I said in a previous post of my own - Martin Sheen is the only sensible choice for Prez!
 
I love it when you use red upper case bold.
 
I wouldn't fuck Sarah Palin, unless the choice was between her and John McCain.
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
Garfer - strange how Mandelson keeps coming back round the U-bend, isn't it? He's either been superb in office, or he has something on members of the cabinet from the past eleven years which is really explosive and would bring down the Government in days ... I dunno.

Tom - she talks such complete and utter bollocks. I'd be surprised if blokes voted for her just because they want to shag her while ignoring what she says! Mind you, perhaps not ... you can never underestimate the stupidity of men in relation to their sex drive. Heh heh.

Laura - she just gets more and more awful, doesn't she? Leslie Nielsen should be the next President, if he's up to the job (he's now 82 years old, so in the John McCain age group at least).

MJ - why, thank you. Must admit, I was quite drunk, hence the excessive use of red upper case bold, and the incomprehensible rambling and ranting. Actually, I think I'll only blog when I'm drunk from now on.

Billy - politicians are generally fairly unattractive people though, aren't they? Always baffling when you hear about the extra-marital affairs that so many of them have. Really, all of those silly women who are attracted to "powerful" men who have very little charisma and look like toads!
 
I think the debate would have been much more fun if Ms Palin spent the duration being discreetly taken up the wrong 'un by Kevin Godley. Every now and then, his solemn hairy face would appear over her shoulder, occasionally accompanied by a cheery thumb's-up.

Then, at the end, Joe Biden's podium is removed, to reveal a kneeling Lol Creme, wiping his mouth.

In fact, is there not a political scenario that would not be improved by having the protagonists pleasured by members of a 1970s art-rock combo?
 
To think i actually had an inkling of respect for McCain as a relatively left leaning conservative before the campaign started... Still, anything's better than Bush, right?
 
Apparently Palin learnt all her political debating skills from those chats they have at the end of beauty pageants. I watch the reaction to her in America with terror. Imagine being on a PTA committee with this woman never mind have her running the bloody country.
 
Why can't our politics be as entertaining as this?
Gordon & Dave are about as entertaining as Gilbert & George. Or Bryan & bloody Michael.
 
(Inserts ear plugs)
Sarah is winking because she's making a joke. Rather like Eric Idle...nudge nudge wink wink.
The joke is that she might soon become the president of the US.
HA HA HA.
It makes me want to go out and shoot a moose.
 
"In fact, is there not a political scenario that would not be improved by having the protagonists pleasured by members of a 1970s art-rock combo?"

Godley & Creme: the dream ticket!

(Creme Ticket!)

Ted Milton and Kev Hopper.

The Halfler Trio.
 
PS I think that Tim Footman is on some sort of hallucinogenic medication.
 
At least Dan Quayle had the good grace to look slightly bemused by everything going on around him - a sort of Stan Laurel.

Palin is one of those ignorant, suburban mums who shout too loud for their kids at school sports days. . . only more frightening because she's got a gun.
 
Tim - very unfair on Kevin Godley. He'd have to close his eyes and think of England. Thanks, anyway. I can now envisage Peter Gabriel dressed as a flower *enjoying* *outdoor pursuits* with Hazel Blears, in the wheelbarrow position.

Del - I dunno if anything IS better than Bush. When you think to yourself "things can't get any worse" ... well, they usually do. That's my experience of life, anyway, so I apply it to anything :(

Realdoc - I hope she doesn't turn up at PTA meetings with a rifle. Teachers have enough problems to deal with (are they called PTA meetings in America?)

Murph - this is why there's always a comedian or some toweringly charismatic entertainer such as, er, Will Young on Question Time these days. It detracts from the lack of personality of the politicians. Having said that, I'd rather have a charisma-free cabinet who did their jobs properly than Sarah Bloody Palin sending troops out to Iran ...

Kek - yeah, Ted Milton's saxaphone rammed up the arse of everyone in the cabinet and shadow cabinet. Sounds like a good idea.

Murph - so is Sarah Palin. It stops her moodswings but so far she's resisted the charms of The Grateful Dead.

Malc - too true. I was pissed off by the kind of people responding to her "honesty" and "plain speaking". You know, no big fancy words or ideas that take more than a couple of seconds for you to understand. All the stuff about "ordinary people" and bloody "families" Bah.
 
*saxophone*

I really should employ someone as a proof reader.
 
Is she related to Anne Robinson? Now that would be a vice-presidential dream-team! (Or is it nightmare?)
 
NOBODY understands American politics..
except the pollsters and pundits who just make up shit and people start to think OMFG if that's what everybody else is doing then I had better get on board..
I don't want to be different?

I think Caribou Barbie would make an awesome President. Within the first ten minutes of her Presidency she'd empty the silos on China, Russia, Bad Korea, Iran, Iraq, Syria, all the 'Stan' countries, and prolly France.

That way everyone will know that she means business and nobody will mind when she introduces
'Creationamalism' in schools like McCain Elementary, Harvard, & Yale instead of all that weirdo scientificky mumbo-jumbo.

*wink-wink
nudge-nudge
say no more
SAY NO MORE!
 
Kaz - "it makes me want to go out and shoot a moose" - that's not a very nice thing to say about Sarah Palin! Fair enough, she probably deserves that fate, but she's not that ugly!

The Dotterel - y'know, the Anne Robinson thing is something I'd not noticed before. Well spotted. I think that I'd (just about) prefer Sarah Palin as US president. Anne Robinson? Unspeakable and quite terrifying.

Donn -well, the population of the world will be reduced by about eighty per cent by the sound of things. Come to think of it, only cockroaches will survive if all those countries are nuked into oblivion. Let's just hope that there are some people still alive in Alaska to drill for all that oil, eh?
 
I watched it sober - I wish I hadn't. Now I'm a tad worried - the woman is clearly deranged and it takes one to know one - although obviously I'm deranged in a more reasonable manor and don't believe in all the crap she spouts..
 
Ziggi - I'm deranged but there are different ways to be deranged. Besides which, I won't get the opportunity to nuke Iran (er, not that I would want to ...) Nor do I own a gun. I'm working on it though.
 
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