Thursday, May 07, 2009
FEATHER BRAINS
Jeeez Louise! <3
This is PART TWO of the stunning exhaustive overview of cinema that I promised many moons ago.
I'm not really up on modern film stars. They all have names like Ferris Crooks and Tilton McTaylor and I wouldn't recognise them if they were sat on my lap as I'm typing this, now, on the Mac.
However, I do know that there are different *types* of popular modern films. One of the most popular is the ROM COM.
These films are aimed at women who go on girly nights out to the cinema.
Well, that doesn't appeal to me for starters. I've never had female friends who are *girly* girls who would want to go on *girly* nights out.
When someone tells me that they are a *girly* girl I sigh wearily (internally) and immediately decide that they are pointless and not worth knowing. Life is too short to be understanding about people you know you won't have anything in common with, after all.
Unfortunately, during the course of a lifetime it's often difficult to avoid having to spend time with otherwise sane women who want to have *girly* conversations, i.e., they want to go on and on and on and on about their romantic relationships and the problems therein, or some bloke they fancy and whether or not he is interested in them.
I REALLY DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT OTHER WOMEN'S ROMANTIC PROBLEMS AND HAVE KILLED SEVERAL WOMEN WHO HAVE GONE ON AND ON AND ON IN MINUTE DETAIL OVER AND OVER AGAIN ABOUT THE SAME SUBJECT AND I JUST WANTED THEM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Well, anyway, rom coms are aimed at these sort of women.
One of the ones that was released recently is called He's Just Not That Into You.
God, it sounds so shit, doesn't it? I thought that Drew Barrymore and Scarlett Johansson were fairly decent actresses, from the little I've seen of them. Times must be tough in Hollywood if they're accepting parts in something with this dire a premise.
Really, the whole plot can be summed up in the title.
If a guy doesn't text, doesn't call you back, tells you to fuck off if you call him yourself, sends you dead fish through the post, puts a bomb under your car, he's not playing hard to get ...
HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!!!!!! GET IT? HELLS BELLS, YOU SHOULD HAVE WORKED THAT OUT BY THE TIME YOU WERE EIGHT, NOT NOW WHEN YOU'RE AN ADULT YOU DELUDED SILLY COW!
I mean, men are simple creatures, nearer to plant life than any living mammal. Provided they have porn, beer, a few mates that they can see down the pub, football, Playstations and music, they're happy. Very few of them want to settle down, especially with insipid, self absorbed girly girls who like rom coms.
That's all you need to know.
There will be a concluding part to this trilogy which I hope to post before the decade is out.
Labels: Drew Barrymore, girly girls, rom coms, Scarlett Johansson
