Friday, October 17, 2008
DEVASTATION STREET
Greetings, penpals! This week is MRRRRRDDDRRRRHH week - well, on Coronation Street, at any rate.
Boo hoo. Poor Liam. Poor baby. He looks so ... VULNERABLE. People look so ... VULNERABLE when they're dead, don't they?
This is the week in which the much hyped MRRRRRRRRRDDDRRRRHH of Liam Connor takes place. Liam is going to be MRRRRRRRRRDDDRRRHHD by Scots Tony, the man with the glass eye. Tony is consumed by jealousy because Liam and Tony's intended, Carla, are *meant to be togevva* and are getting up to all manner of filth behind Tony's back. For one thing, they have put Alka Seltzer in the jug that Tony keeps his glass eye in "for a laugh".
Bollocks to that though. All I'm thinking is "why are they doing this to me?" "How can they get rid of Liam - my Liam?"
No doubt Liam (aka Rob James Collier) feels that, as a thesp, there is great depth, height and width to his acting skills, and there's a whole wide world out there. Theatre, period dramas, maybe ... even ... Hollywood ...
This means that in a couple of months, I expect to see him in Holby City. He'll be wearing turquoise nylon scrubs, and will be looking down at the bed of a ninety year old bloke who's just had his fifth heart attack.
Liam will say "it's no good mate, yer gonna 'ave to give up all that late night partyin' and gettin' off with all those women" in a jokey but kind hearted way to the poor old bastard who only has days to live and no visitors.
Whenever we watch Coronation Street, my other half always takes the piss out of the way Liam speaks. He imitates Liam's voice. Every time he tries to talk like Liam, the voice becomes more and more nasal and slack jawed, the lisp more pronounced and the accent more moronic.
"Fuck off" I retort. "I don't take the mickey out of the fact that you fancy that policewoman who's six foot five and broad shouldered and has a moustache and bushy eyebrows and talks in a deep hoarse voice. I even felt a bit sorry for her when she was beaten up by those girls in the bar and ended up losing sight in one of her eyes."
Well ... I DO take the mickey out of her, actually ...
Anyway, this is a picture of Dead Liam.
Boo hoo. Poor Liam. Poor baby. He looks so ... VULNERABLE. People look so ... VULNERABLE when they're dead, don't they?Cue Derek And Clive ...
You'll probably already know that the above is NSFW, but anyways ...
Peter Cook gives me the farkking 'orn. Not 'arff.
Labels: Coronation Street, Dead Liam, Derek And Clive, getting the horn, Holby City, Judith O'Reilly, Liam Connor, penpals, Peter Cook, vulnerability
