Friday, October 17, 2008


Greetings, penpals!  This week is MRRRRRDDDRRRRHH week - well, on Coronation Street, at any rate.

This is the week in which the much hyped MRRRRRRRRRDDDRRRRHH of Liam Connor takes place. Liam is going to be MRRRRRRRRRDDDRRRHHD by Scots Tony, the man with the glass eye.  Tony is consumed by jealousy because Liam and Tony's intended, Carla, are *meant to be togevva* and are getting up to all manner of filth behind Tony's back.  For one thing, they have put Alka Seltzer in the jug that Tony keeps his glass eye in "for a laugh".

Bollocks to that though.  All I'm thinking is "why are they doing this to me?"  "How can they get rid of Liam - my Liam?"

No doubt Liam (aka Rob James Collier) feels that, as a thesp, there is great depth, height and width to his acting skills, and there's a whole wide world out there.  Theatre, period dramas, maybe ... even ... Hollywood ...

This means that in a couple of months, I expect to see him in Holby City.  He'll be wearing turquoise nylon scrubs, and will be looking down at the bed of a ninety year old bloke who's just had his fifth heart attack.

Liam will say "it's no good mate, yer gonna 'ave to give up all that late night partyin' and gettin' off with all those women" in a jokey but kind hearted way to the poor old bastard who only has days to live and no visitors.

Whenever we watch Coronation Street, my other half always takes the piss out of the way Liam speaks.  He imitates Liam's voice.  Every time he tries to talk like Liam, the voice becomes more and more nasal and slack jawed, the lisp more pronounced and the accent more moronic.

"Fuck off" I retort.  "I don't take the mickey out of the fact that you fancy that policewoman who's six foot five and broad shouldered and has a moustache and bushy eyebrows and talks in a deep hoarse voice.  I even felt a bit sorry for her when she was beaten up by those girls in the bar and ended up losing sight in one of her eyes."

Well ... I DO take the mickey out of her, actually ...

Anyway, this is a picture of Dead Liam.  

Boo hoo.  Poor Liam.  Poor baby.  He looks so ... VULNERABLE.  People look so ... VULNERABLE when they're dead, don't they?

Cue Derek And Clive ...

You'll probably already know that the above is NSFW, but anyways ...

Peter Cook gives me the farkking 'orn.  Not 'arff.

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I'm a little bit behind with my viewing. Are any of them related to Martha Longhurst or Concepta Hewitt?

MJ will not be very pleased with you for publishing this. Good.
Don't watch soaps me.

I used to like 'The Sullivans', which was set in 1940's Australia and had dunnies in it. Top notch.
Can Scottish people ever actually murder someone, or, because of their accents, can they only manage to "MRRRRRRRRRDDDRRRRHH" people?

I was just wondering because Taggart seemed to have the same problem. Not that he was a murderer - Well, not that I'm aware of. I mean, I didn't really watch it, but even so...

Anyway, poor Liam etc etc.
Vicus is right, MJ will be devastated.

Betty I have never seen an entire episode so I do not share your pain. In the Colonies, most of the Soap Opera performers who can actually ACT, usually want to get into the Movies as soon as possible...Denzel, Meg Ryan etc...

I must admit that I do occasionally enjoy listening to Corrie on Sunday mornings so that I can listen to that lot exchange their 'th's' wif 'f's'.
Thanks, Betty, for being the THIRD blogger to inform me of Liam's MRRRRRRRRRDDDRRRRHH.

First up was Piggy, then Geoff, and now YOU.

You know what would give ME the 'orn?

To be a fly on the wall listening to you and Geoff banter back and forth on any given evening.

I'd pay good money for that.

Best that I'm on this side of the pond and there are no seat sales going at this time.
Wait a minute...

Did Coppens actually admit that he listens to Corrie?
So over here in The Colonies, Sarah Lou has just left the show and Liz and Vernon have just married.

I need to know if Jim McDonald stays on the show as I got the 'orn for him ever since I dreamed I was shagging him the other night.
Everyone has the 'orn for Vicus.
Didn't anyone inform MJ that we are only allowed one comment per post?
Has Florrie Lindley got married yet?
Calls to mj
It's the same over here - we've known all the details of Liam's death for months.
Liam can play his namesake in the biopic of 'Oasis'.
Now Geoff would really enjoy that.
Vicus - I've only been watching since the late 1970's, so I can't answer this question. Ken Barlow is still around. He's probably under contract to stay in Coronation Street beyond his death. He'll have to perform his scenes through a medium.

Garfer - I don't suppose you'll be familiar with an awful soap/drama called Seven Little Australians from the 1970's? Really mawkish stuff. I cried at the end of it, but I was about twelve.

IDV - I suppose the word 'MRRRRDDDRRHH" sounds more sinister if spoken by someone who's Scottish. "Ohm tellin' yer chief - it's a coise of Merdah" in a West Midlands accent doesn't really chill you to the bone, does it?

Donn - you listen to Corrie? Is it broadcast on the radio then? I know that on the other side of the pond TV stars have to be young, thin and physically perfect, so maybe Tony's glass eye or Liz Macdonald's cellulite would be considered too shocking for the average viewer.

MJ - you really wouldn't want to hear us talking. If the telly is on, we'll be catching up with stuff we've recorded on Sky Plus and pressing the pause button every couple of minutes to hurl abuse at the screen. Or we'll be having mundane conversation about work or will be taking the piss out of people we know or ... the usual stuff other people do really. Nothing dark or satanic I'm afraid (except for Saturday afternoons). Anyway, don't count on Jim Macdonald staying around, as he reverts to his usual *ways*. What about ye'? Fair play.

Vicus - No. Emily Bishop is a widow and hasn't made the beast with two backs for thirty years.

Kaz - actually, we were having a drunken conversation about them. Which Liam is more attractive? Obviously I suggested the Corrie one. Liam Gallagher is a handsome bloke and has a very alluring underbite but there's something gormless about his eyes ... er, anyway ...
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