Wednesday, April 09, 2008
ENNUI RULE THE DANCE
As blogging ennui* continues to set in like a cold, clammy sweat around a wheezing geriatric on a death bed, it's only fair that I should hand over the reins of the blog to someone else for this post. That someone else is Michael Eavis, big cheese of the Glastonbury Festival, who is going to tell you something about this year's Glastonbury lineup.
Take it away, Michael.
I'm the laughing gnome, and you can't catch me.
Um, hi everyone. Just popped in to have a few words about this year's exciting Glastonbury lineup.
Um, something there for everyone, I'm sure you'll agree. Surprisingly enough, there are a few tickets left, so hurry on over to the Glastonbury hotline to book now. It could be your last chance!
Take it away, Michael.
I'm the laughing gnome, and you can't catch me.
Um, hi everyone. Just popped in to have a few words about this year's exciting Glastonbury lineup.
There's been a lot of stuff and nonsense in the papers about, um, how the festival has gone downhill in recent years, what with the exorbitant ticket costs and our determination to stop yobs scaling over the fence and ruining it for the likes of genuine music fans such as Sadie Frost, Sienna Miller, Danny Dyer, Peaches Geldof and other esteemed celebrity guests who for me embody the real spirit of Glastonbury. Well, um, all I can say is - we'll stay tough on crime and tough on the causes of crime!
There have also been complaints about the band lineups in recent years. It has been suggested that some of our headline acts - Ruby Murray, Lew Stone & His Orchestra featuring the fragrant Elsie Carlisle, Van Morrison, Sir Cliff Richard, Stuart Gillies, The Kings Singers and Moira Anderson - may have been a little out of touch with the current music scene.
Well, um, I've taken this on board and this year have pulled out all the stops to attract a crowd of youngsters.
This year, the jewel in the crown will be Sunday night's headliner on the Urban Stage: young American rapping and scratching star Jay Zed!
In an unprecedented move, I'll actually be introducing Jay Zed from the stage myself, and have been "practising my urban patois" as I believe they say. Jay Zed - he's def and he's fresh for 1983!!!
Each day will feature one main stage, as we attempt to cut away all the fat and present, in essence, the ESSENTIAL new young music. Here is the full lineup for each night:
FRIDAY NIGHT: WAKE UP BRITAIN! THE AMERICANS ARE COMING!!!!
(All the best in new, exciting young leftfield American bands!!!)
HEADLINING: JOURNEY
Billy Joel
Air Supply
Styx
Jennifer Warnes
Foreigner
The Cars
Mister Mister
Huey Lewis And The News
*
SATURDAY NIGHT: WAKE UP BRITAIN! IT'S THE NEW MUSICAL EXPRESS STAGE!!!
(Top underground music weekly The New Musical Express brings you the best in leftfield young British music!!!)
HEADLINING: THE MIGHTY LEMON DROPS
Menswear
The Senseless Things
Gay Dad
Jesus Jones
Daisy Chainsaw
The Family Cat
The Soup Dragons
Scouting For Girls
Ned's Atomic Dustbin
*
SUNDAY NIGHT: WAKE UP HOMEY, IT'S THE URBAN TENT!!!
(Please note: anyone carrying a gun will NOT BE ADMITTED into the Urban Tent)
HEADLINING: JAY ZED "ALL THE WAY FROM AMERICA!!!"
Smiley Culture "FROM LAAAHNDAN TAAAHN!"
Wee Papa Girl Rappers ("Ennui* rule the dance!!!")
The Rebel MC "FROM LAAAHNDAN TAAAHN!"
Yazz featuring The Plastic Population
Derek B
Normski
The Real Roxanne
Kenny Ball & His Jazzmen
Um, something there for everyone, I'm sure you'll agree. Surprisingly enough, there are a few tickets left, so hurry on over to the Glastonbury hotline to book now. It could be your last chance!
Labels: ennui, ennui rule the dance, Glastonbury, Jay Zed, Michael Eavis
