Tuesday, September 08, 2009
FAC ME 'TIL I FART
Recently I had a brief exchange on Twitter with KekW about boring music biopics. He came up with the excellent suggestion of casting Jude Law as Damon Albarn in a fucking tedious Blur biopic. Can you imagine how sleep inducing that would be?
Anyway, my thoughts went off at a tangent (as is usual for ninety per cent of the day). I began to think about the film Twenty Four Hour People - the story of Factory Records. Apparently, it is based on *legend* as much as fact.
Given that I've mentioned one or two of the characters before in posts, I thought that I might as well expand on my suggestions and offer up a list of the actors who would have made the film far more entertaining ...
DANIEL CORBETT THE WEATHERMAN as IAN CURTIS
JEREMY IRONS as BERNARD SUMNERIAN BOTHAM* as PETER HOOK
JANE McDONALD as GILLIAN GILBERT
JUNE BROWN as STEPHEN MORRIS
PETER VAUGHAN as SEAN RYDER
NICHOLAS LYNDHURST as BEZ
HARRY HILL as HOWARD DEVOTO
AGYNESS DEYN as VINI REILLY
The all night party goes on
A GROUP OF BOY SCOUTS* as A CERTAIN RATIO
HAYLEY FROM CORONATION STREET as ANTHONY HAITCH WILSON'S LONG SUFFERING FIRST WIFE
ALAN PARTRIDGE as ANTHONY HAITCH WILSON (oh ... hold on ... ha ha ...)
If anyone can think of a suitable actor to play the part of Joy Division/New Order manager Rob Gretton, I will send them a free sachet of Linco Beer shampoo.
Extra creamy ... extra dreamy ... mmmmmmMMMMMMMmmmm ...
*with thanks to Steve Wright In The Afternoon and The Boy Scout Association
Labels: Agyness Deyn, biopics, Boy Scouts, Daniel Corbett The Weatherman, Factory Records, The Kill Steve Wright Now Campaign, Vini Reilly
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
THE WRIGHT STUFF
Well, it's a fair old time since I got a guest writer to do a post. This one is a bit unusual, in that it's actually a television programme in the form of a blog post. It's TOTP2, presented by guest writer and DJ Steve Wright. The good thing is - if you're not a music fan, but love Steve's zany voiceovers at the beginning of each song, there's not actually any music, but there are Steve's sidesplitting little descriptions of each well loved music act! Without further ado ...
"Hi! I'm Steve Wright, welcome to TOTP2, your weekly shot of new and old music from the TOTP archive! To kick off we've got New Order with Blue Monday. Incidentally, watch out for the guy on bass ... IT'S IAN BOTHAM!!!!!!!!"
"Right, on now to a firm favourite of me and and all of the smug ageing Radio 2 listeners, it's a song Amy Winehouse recently recorded in the TOTP studio for us. Love the song Amy, but what's with all the tattoos!!!!!!! And look at all that hair - she looks like she's been in a mistral!!!!!"
"Great track from Amy, let's move on now to Iran from A Flock Of Seagulls. The guy who's singing looks as if he's been in a mistral!!!!!! And what about the guy in glasses - IT'S TIMMY MALLET, ISN'T IT?????"
"If you thought that was weird, what about this - WEIRD AL YANKOVIC with Beat It? Incidentally, is he ME in a WIG??????? "
"Right, thanks for watching, that's it for this week folks, but before we go here's a song that'll make you sit back and laugh at all the stupidly dressed so called "talented" bands you used to love when you were young. Face it, it was all a load of shouting, it was too loud, you couldn't tell what they were singing and they looked like a load of bloody girls, didn't they? Instead, here's some PROPER music where you can hear the words and they play their instruments properly and it's not too loud.
Ladies and gentleman, I give you COUNTING CROWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
(audience commits mass suicide)
(With thanks to CBQ who commented on Avenues And Alleyways, whose grumbling about Steve Wright "inspired" the post.)
"Hi! I'm Steve Wright, welcome to TOTP2, your weekly shot of new and old music from the TOTP archive! To kick off we've got New Order with Blue Monday. Incidentally, watch out for the guy on bass ... IT'S IAN BOTHAM!!!!!!!!"
"Right, on now to a firm favourite of me and and all of the smug ageing Radio 2 listeners, it's a song Amy Winehouse recently recorded in the TOTP studio for us. Love the song Amy, but what's with all the tattoos!!!!!!! And look at all that hair - she looks like she's been in a mistral!!!!!"
"Great track from Amy, let's move on now to Iran from A Flock Of Seagulls. The guy who's singing looks as if he's been in a mistral!!!!!! And what about the guy in glasses - IT'S TIMMY MALLET, ISN'T IT?????"
"If you thought that was weird, what about this - WEIRD AL YANKOVIC with Beat It? Incidentally, is he ME in a WIG??????? "
Me!!!!!!!!!
Weird Al!!!!!!!!!
Weird Al!!!!!!!!!
"Right, thanks for watching, that's it for this week folks, but before we go here's a song that'll make you sit back and laugh at all the stupidly dressed so called "talented" bands you used to love when you were young. Face it, it was all a load of shouting, it was too loud, you couldn't tell what they were singing and they looked like a load of bloody girls, didn't they? Instead, here's some PROPER music where you can hear the words and they play their instruments properly and it's not too loud.
Ladies and gentleman, I give you COUNTING CROWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
(audience commits mass suicide)
(With thanks to CBQ who commented on Avenues And Alleyways, whose grumbling about Steve Wright "inspired" the post.)
Labels: "Cheryl" Crowe, Counting Crows, mistrals, The Kill Steve Wright Now Campaign
