Thursday, February 10, 2011


As rumours emerge that Julian Assange could end up in Guantanamo Bay I feel that it is only right that I offer up advice to him from no less than Hollywood's Prince Paulo, self styled "Queen Of The Fashion Bloggers".

OMG! Fashion Disaster Tornado approaching! Julian girl ima have WORDS with you! Orange? Orange? ORANGE???

Okay, burnt orange boiler suits look tooooo cute on those Middle Eastern guys with their dreamy olive complexions and sloe gin eyes and sooty cheek sweeping lashes but you? You're on death row before you're even in the dock honey.

There is no way that a deathly pale high beige blond can carry off such an out there color.

Julian, I'm sure you're like "OMG! FML! WTF!" and I can fully understand.

There is only one way out of this.

If the worst comes to the worst, you are going to have to do some serious talking to your team so that they can strike a deal behind the scenes.

Then you could get a lucky break and end up spending the rest of your days in a dove gray boiler suit or, if we're REEEALLLY lucky, Rick Owens leathers!

Bon voyage baby!!!

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OMG!!! Like, nooo-waaay... Julian would look sooo hot in turquoise. Ditch the dove grey idea like right now.

I find Julian strangely attractive. But you're right, not in orange...
Why don’t you do a video? Julian in a painted-on jumpsuit.
He might want to shop from this catalogue.

I suggest he scroll down to the black and white uniform.

He’s slim enough to get away with horizontal stripes.
He looks like a cross between Noel Edmonds and Jon from S Club 7, neither of whom would look good in an orange jumpsuit, methinks.

Somewhat unnervingly, WV is 'pycycho'
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scarlet Blue - neutral colours are very much *it* at the moment I believe.

Spinsterella - hmm, I can see your point but I have to try to resist the urge to find him attractive because I have the feeling he is a complete cnut. Sigh ...

Tim Footman - that would be beyond my capabilities. I leave that sort of thing to people whose skills have progressed since 1995.

MJ - the thick stripes are a bit too outre. If they were a finer stripe they'd be more understated and classy, but would probably strobe on television. A problem ...

Inexplicable DeVice - The thought of Noel Edmonds in an orange jumpsuit is unpleasant, but I suppose he wears some hideous shirts anyway. Besides, it would be nice to see him sent to Guantanamo Bay for a few years.

12:08 PM
Oh balls Blogger - stop trying to mess with my mind, man.
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