Tuesday, January 05, 2010


Apparently this is set to be the coldest winter since the mythological Winter Of Discontent of 1978-1979.

This sounds ominous, given the political implications. Come spring, we will be looking at another Conservative Thousand Year Reich. Oh well.

Otherwise, I can remember the Winter Of Discontent being particularly unpleasant because I had to trudge through snow drifts to school for about four months. In those days girls weren't allowed to wear trousers as part of school uniform in case we became terrifying ugly moustachioed man hating lesbian women's liberationisticals or whatever the f*ck they were called. One vaguely rebellious girl turned up at the school gates wearing jeans and was promptly told to go home and change into something more feminine and appropriate. Our tiny legs were frozen.

I spent most of the winter wearing a pair of derivative Kickers which became more and more grubby looking and battered. The reason I wore derivative Kickers is because (a) it was 1978, (b) my parents were too poor to afford the real thing and (c) they were the only shoes I had with any sort of tread which meant I would avoid flying arse over tit in the ice and snow; I lived at the top of a hill.

There was no relief when I got home. Endless homework in preparation for O-levels. A freezing house due to a lack of central heating. Damp peeling the wallpaper away on my bedroom wall. Pitiful Dickensian bollocks, what?

The winter seemed to last for ever and ever, which meant that I greeted spring with joy unbounded. I went to school at the beginning of the spring term in NEW SHOES! These were the most expensive shoes my parents had ever bought me (perhaps even they were feeling sorry for me) - high(ish) heels, soft leather, gorgeous, plush and comfortable. The grubby old pseudo Kickers could take a running jump, sonny.

... except that, at the end of the first day of the spring term there was a surprising turn of events. The weather forecast hadn't warned us it would happen, but ...

... there was a massive SNOWSTORM. Drifting snow had built up and continued to fall as I walked home ... in April ... in my new shoes ... which were completely RUINED.

There's some sort of moral to this tale of woe, but I can't be arsed to find out what it is.

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Saturday, January 02, 2010


Of course I don't really find time to explore the great diaspora of music these days because I have to clean, wash, cook, dust, iron, bleach, scrub, wipe, scrape, hammer, stab, twist the knife in, wail hysterically and do all of the other things that fall into the remit of being a dull washed out middle aged housewife. Still, I've just about found the time to stick some videos of my favourite songs of last year up on here because that's what I do, it's what every other blogger does and it's very annoying to people who don't like music.

(I have seen this woman's tampon string so many times in pictures this year that my menstrual cycle has started to synchronise with hers. Anyway, she's probably the best mainstream pop star since Adam Ant ("?") and this song seems to be trying to start a Belgian New Beat revival. Incredible video, gush gush)

... and finally, and best of all ...

Back to cleaning, scraping, Yogic flying, chimney sweeping and so on for me now.

All that remains is for me to wish you a very very very very happy *Holiday Weekend* before you head back to work and the possibility of future redundancy, bankruptcy, house re-possession and failing health.

Cast off thy raincoat and dance :(

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