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Tuesday, September 08, 2009

FAC ME 'TIL I FART 


Recently I had a brief exchange on Twitter with KekW about boring music biopics. He came up with the excellent suggestion of casting Jude Law as Damon Albarn in a fucking tedious Blur biopic. Can you imagine how sleep inducing that would be?

Anyway, my thoughts went off at a tangent (as is usual for ninety per cent of the day). I began to think about the film Twenty Four Hour People - the story of Factory Records. Apparently, it is based on *legend* as much as fact.

Given that I've mentioned one or two of the characters before in posts, I thought that I might as well expand on my suggestions and offer up a list of the actors who would have made the film far more entertaining ...

DANIEL CORBETT THE WEATHERMAN as IAN CURTIS
JEREMY IRONS as BERNARD SUMNER
IAN BOTHAM* as PETER HOOK
JANE McDONALD as GILLIAN GILBERT
JUNE BROWN as STEPHEN MORRIS
PETER VAUGHAN as SEAN RYDER
NICHOLAS LYNDHURST as BEZ
HARRY HILL as HOWARD DEVOTO
AGYNESS DEYN as VINI REILLY


The all night party goes on

A GROUP OF BOY SCOUTS* as A CERTAIN RATIO
HAYLEY FROM CORONATION STREET as ANTHONY HAITCH WILSON'S LONG SUFFERING FIRST WIFE
ALAN PARTRIDGE as ANTHONY HAITCH WILSON (oh ... hold on ... ha ha ...)

If anyone can think of a suitable actor to play the part of Joy Division/New Order manager Rob Gretton, I will send them a free sachet of Linco Beer shampoo.



















Extra creamy ... extra dreamy ... mmmmmmMMMMMMMmmmm ...


*with thanks to Steve Wright In The Afternoon and The Boy Scout Association

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Comments:
Always thought the obvious one to play Rob - would have been Ken Dodd -looka-like / mannerisms / humor - everything matches !!
 
I can't improve on any of those Bettster - in fact, I think your post is sufficient evidence to start an "Ian Curtis is not dead, he's been reading the news when Rob McElvie's been doing a sickie for *years* rumour...

Just a thought though - McKenzie Crook as Bez (or do I mean Beckie from Corrie....ooh crackie, I'm confusing meself now...)

Fabulous post B!

xxx
Mort

p.s. Norris from Corrie would *have* to be Morrissey, obviously...
 
Daniel Corbett is not human, he is a puppet on speed. You can see the strings if you look carefully enough.

Poor Ian, if only he'd become a weatherman he'd probably still be with us. As would Kurt Cobain, who I'm sure could have spun a lyric containing the phrases 'occluded front' and 'brief flurries'.
 
Rob Gretton = Frankie Boyle
 
Farmer Glitch - I can see your point. I think I was looking in the wrong place for a Rob Gretton-a-like, possible a Northern football manager. Except there aren't really many of those any more ...

Morton S - Ian Curtis has been reading the news, that's why there was a credit crunch and it's all doom and gloom, ho ho.

Garfer - I dunno. Imagine the endless gloomy weather if Ian Curtis had been a weatherman. Joy Division were always wearing raincoats after all.

Tim Footman - not more Frankie Boyle! He is already on an endless revolving run of panel games. He would die of exhaustion. Mind you, come to think of it ... ha ha ...
 
Is he quite creatively sweary in '24 Hour Party People'? I can't remember. He certainly is in 'Control'. Anyway, if so, how's about Malcolm Tucker from off of 'The Thick Of It'?
 
Russell Crowe is Peter Hook

(apologies for ridiculously late comment!)
 
SK - he sure is. Same temperament as well. Apologies for the super late reply to the comment. I don't even treat this place like a hotel any more. I treat it like a run down allotment that's full of weeds and overrun with blackberries.
 
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