Betty's Utility Room

Tim "I'll Get Me Coat" Footman has stipulated that readers of Cultural Snow must post a meme in which we provide eight facts about a famous individual.

It was decreed that I tell you something or other about Israel Kamakawiwo'ole.

1. Although he sounds as if he should have been a Druze farmer in the Golan Heights, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole was in fact a Hawaiian musician and singer.

2. Other famous Hawaiian musicians include Yvonne Elliman, who had a worldwide hit with If I Can't Have You (as featured on the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack) and sleep/coma/suicide inducing surfer boy Jack Johnson.

3. Israel's band featured his brother Skippy, the only marsupial I can think of to have success in the music industry. He brought a hip *hop* element to Israel's music. His other influences included *Bush* and *Joey* Ramone, and his favourite song was Staring At The *Roo'd* Boys by The Ruts.

4. Israel's biggest hit was a medley of the songs Over The Rainbow and Wonderful World. A strange choice - the pining melancholy of the first contradicts the beatific joy of the second, er, if you ask me. It features a ukulele (like most of his other songs, it seems. Did he play ukulele on all of 'em?) Actually, it sounds like a cod reggae medley and goes on a bit.

5. Other famous ukulele wielding artistes include innuendo king George Formby and cross dressing fantasist Robert Swipe.

6. Israel was morbidly obese, and would've given Ric Waller a run for his money. Imagine those two doing a tour of the cruise ships - what a hazard! I've heard of a performer sinking like a stone in front of the audience, but not sending the audience down into the murky watery depths with them! Unfortunately, Israel died of weight-related problems in 1997, aged just 38. If only he'd lived long enough to meet Amy Winehouse, they could've cancelled out their problems between them.

7. Israel was one of only three people to be given a state funeral in Hawaii, and the only non-politician. Fingers crossed that Jack Johnson doesn't get a state funeral, eh?

8. Ten years after his death, Israel had his biggest success ever in the US, when his album Wonderful World climbed to number 44 "on the" Billboard Chart. Fair enough, but it doesn't quite rival the post-death success of Tupac Shakur (or "Two Park" as he is known to Tim "Ookaay, Let's Gooooooooo!!!!!!!!" Westwood).

There you have it. I'm probably going to receive loads of abusive e-mails and comments from rabid Israel Kamakawiwo'ole fans six months from now telling me that I'm an ignorant, empty headed fat virgin bitch who deserves a good slapping. Well, I'd never heard of him before and this is meant to be a "light hearted" post or something like that. Will that do? Can I go out into the lovely sunshine now?

Labels: bush kangaroos, coma-inducing Jack Johnson, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, memes, morbid obesity, ukuleles