Monday, February 11, 2008


Things are on the up.  The sun was out today, we're almost halfway through February and, to top it all, there are a couple of opportunities for me to become a sinister stalker within a decent radius of my home.

1.  On Wednesday, Jean Christophe Novelli signs copies of his new book at Bluewater.  As I've said before, I can't give a monkey's cobblers about cooking, but I know a dishy Frenchman when I see one.

2.  Jeff Goldblum is currently starring in a production called Speed-The-Plow at the Old Vic. 

Apparently, he's currently enjoying "the single life".  

*jumps up and down enthusiastically*

Of course, it's all a bit of harmless fun, and at least a year since the last restraining order was lifted. 

I just like to indulge in my psychotic, unhinged side ever so often, is all.


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'Dishy' is a brilliant word, and I'm with you on J-C. Jeff, though...maybe it's because he was in The Fly, but I've always thought him a little bug-eyed.
Ooh - Jeff G - single? Shall we hire a coach and all go down en blogging mass?! We can knit trinkets for him and look all scary at the stage door waiting for him to come out. I've never really understood 'fans' who do that sort of thing. Like girls that were into horses at school when all I was into was pop music and Tales Of the Unexpected and Happy Days. We-ird.
my advice, since you asked: aim for the frenchman. that way theres at least a ghost of a chance of a decent meal out somewhere in the bargain. with jeff, you get something that geena davis found wanting. and....just....ew.
If I was a bird I'd let Jean Christophe and Ross Burden give me a jolly good roasting.
I do sort of see the attraction in Goldblum, but whenever I think of him, the image of Emma Thompson with a piece of toast stuck to her arse comes to mind.

Apparently he's in a jazz band with Robocop.
Jean Christophe haw he haw he haw vould you like sume crepe Suzette leetle gurly. Frog pervert.

Jeff Goldblum turned into a fly and puked up over some donuts before sucking them up through his proboscis.

You do have strange tastes. I suggest that you content yourself with Rodney Bickerstaffe.
Ooh, I'd definitely go for JC, if I were you.

For a start, he's in black and white, so he wouldn't clash with anything you wore...

Another downside to JG would be the danger of being chased by a ravenous Tyrannosaur while he lies in the back of your car moaning.
I though that first one was Owen Hargreaves.
Jeff Goldblum? Really? Well I never.

I've heard that Owen Hargreaves is a fine cook, specialising in Thai cuisine. He and Paul Scholes are always swopping recipes.
What about the dishy, vichy, trader who lost £3.7bn for Societe Generale, talk about being a go-getter..Ooh lala!

Paris Hilton exclaimed,
"C'est chaud!"

Do you recall what Jeff said about lady-stalkers in Jurassic Park 2?
"That's how it always starts with the oohs and the aahs and then there is the running and the screaming"

JG was involved with a lovely young gal from my Hometown and caused quite stir when he would visit. Pity.
I can't get past JG's eye-rolling.
And it was eemposseebler to find any mouth-wash when I was in France. Just a thought.
Still, you have to make do with what's about, I find.
following this post I'd be extremely interested in seeing an up-to-date pic of Geoff! Ooo go on!
Lost Boy - "dishy" tends to be a word I use more often nowadays. My mother always used to describe the newsreader Richard Whitmore as "dishy". At my age it sounds a bit more respectable than "cute"!

Rockmother - oh yes, I never understood girls at school who were preoccupied with horses. Very odd, but then I've got no class. Perhaps I should start a Stalking Jeff Goldblum blog ...

First Nations - I think the Frenchman is married, so that may be a disadvantage. Perhaps there was something wanting in Geena Davis, as it were, rather than Jeff ...

Istvanski - "if"? What about Anthony Worrall Thompson then? Phwoar!!

Tim - eugh. He's in a band with Robocop? What, were they a prototype Daft Punk dance outfit then?

Garfer - frog perverts are definitely to be encouraged, in my opinion. Fair enough, I've got oddball tastes, but I can't force myself to like Enrique Iglesias or George Clooney, unfortunately. Besides, Rodney Bickers spurned my advances :(

IDV - good idea. JC in a groovy French New Wave black and white film! Sounds like the ticket for me.

Beth - ye gods. Owen doesn't really appeal to me, especially now he doesn't have that enigmatic quality because of playing abroad for most of the year.
Malc - I suppose he's relatively sophisticated by the standards of most footballers, what with being Canadian and all (are there any less sophisticated people in the world than English footballers?).

LT - no wonder he caused a stir, with all the running, screaming, oohing and aahing. Not very discreet, is it? We never get famous visitors in Bexleyheath :(

Arabella - thing is, you always have to put aside thoughts about dental hygeine when you have crushes on celebs, especially the ones who chainsmoke. Too much to confront.

Ziggi - I posted one half an hour ago, but it seems to have disappeared. Whoops ...
I remember those Holsten Pils (I think) adverts.
He's much sexier now.
,,, and he has better hair now.
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