Tuesday, January 22, 2008


Here is an interview conducted by some bloke who writes for the Nottingham Evening Post with singer Alison Moyet (she was the original Adele, for any younger people who may be reading).

It seems that Alison is among a plethora of famous people who have caught the blogging bug. She writes in what I would describe as The Ray Winstone In A Historical Drama Set In The Streets Of Early 19th Century London style. Here is an excerpt from one of her posts:

"... and verily, I did purchase a jumper from an establishment in Bermondsey. It did please me due to the visual aspect, and I was well happy. Alas, after the first wearing I did handwash it in cold water, as was advised on the label of said garment, whereupon it did shrink and become misshapen. Forsooth, I was not best pleased, and did tear the said garment to shreds".

Blimey! Everyone's getting in on the act these days, aren't they? I mean, the wonderful No Rock And Roll Fun advises us that James Blunt's Christmas Diary has formed the basis of an article in this month's Observer Music Monthly.

Blounty is my favourite poshoe rocker - even better than Prince William, whose attempts to *drop* some *bashment* *joints* (as they say nowadays) on Rob Da Bank's Radio One show ended in disaster after he started MC-ing in a cringeworthy Lenny Henry-style patois over a Maxi Priest track. I ask you!

Anyway, with his scintillating description of staying on a tourbus, and the fondue set apres-ski set   (????), it looks as if The Blounster could have a future as an A-list blogger to rank with his A-list music status! Come on Blounty! Get that Blogger account!

Of course, his dad has already contributed to the Utility Room's archives here.

I'll do anything to plug old posts.

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May I question the term 'rocker' being applied to Mr Blount?
Can anyone so posh and so camp be a 'rocker'?
And the few times I've had the misfortune to hear his music it didn't sound much like rock.
But what do I know?
I still think Stock, Aitken and Waterman are a firm of solicitors.
Who is this Blount to whom you refer?
And Mike is not "some bloke". He is a very naughty boy.
I know Alison Moyet but didn't know she had been Adele.
Does this make me one of "your younger readers"?
Willie - I was applying the term "rocker" to Mr Blount in the way that The Sun would. Anyone under the age of seventy who makes music is a rocker according to The Sun.

Stock, Aitken and Waterman ARE a team of solicitors.

Vicus - for egalitarian reasons, everyone is described as "some bloke" or "some bint" on this blog.

James Blunt changed his name from James Blount, for some reason.

Oh, yes, and the readers on the other side of the Atlantic will be able to spot the Monty Python reference there, so thank you.

Kaz - all of my readers are young, fashionably dressed, popular and have loads of disposable income, so it doesn't surprise me. Adele is currently playing Alison Moyet in The Alison Moyet Story at Plymouth Winter Gardens.
I see that Mr Blount "eschews hotels". That's the spirit of Keith Moon isn't it?

Alison's like Twiggy and Lulu - bints who scrub up well.

Sid the Sexist
Just looking at Blount makes me feel ill. The man has less rock 'n' roll in his underpants than Chris de Burgh.

I assume Alison purchases her garments in a tent emporium.
That Alison needs more of a blogroll. She's only got herself on there...
Murph - Blounty is trying to prove his rock 'n' roll credentials, isn't he? Still, what else do you expect from the man who liberated Kosovo with his bare hands?

Lulu claimed that she looks so good for her age due to her use of her smashing new skincare range, and not due to plastic surgery, oh no. Mind you, she also claims to have had a relationship with Jason Orange, so ...

Garfer - I dread to think how rock 'n' roll Blounty's underpants are after a week on that tourbus. Even more terrifying is the thought of finding Chris De Burgh in your underpants. What's wrong with shopping at Millets? I'm wearing nylon salopettes, a fleece hat and kagoule even as I type. You can't be too careful.

Billy - I think she says in the interview that she doesn't really get involved in the socialising side of blogging. It's more of a form of self-expression to her, without thinking that anyone else is reading. I used to think that ... until I started to get e-mails from people who knew me at infants school ... ahem.
Betty, I must of course defer to The Sun in these matters, although I've never read it except at the barbers.
Blount told Al Murray last week he changed his name to Blunt so that it rhymed with a well-known expletive. Shows a certain self-awareness I suppose.
And verily I must brush up on my posting style.

It's hardly Pride and Prej is it? (Hmm, I can just imagine a modern P&P as Mr D'Arcy hangs out at Starbucks with his pals and discusses the day's sport: foxes vs redcoats)
Willie - well, I may occasionally have looked at a copy of The Sun left by someone else on a train, or "accidentally" looked on their site, hem hem, but I'd never purchase a copy.

James was probably trying to ingratiate himself with Al Murray's audience. I've seen an interview in which he says that he's going to auction off his sister and autograph her. The man is either mad, or is pretending to be mad.

Llewtrah - I prefer Alison's blog to Blunty's diary, but I don't feel that I'm in a position to judge because I'm not much of a writer myself.

Am considering re-reading some Jane Austen after seeing the recent TV adaptation of S 'n' S, which I actually enjoyed. Perhaps I was missing out on something the first time!
What on earth does she write like that for I wonder? I must go and investigate.
'Persuasion' is the best. Thought the older adaptation with Kieran whatsisname caught it very well. Unlike the latest one, in which the heroine RUNS around Bath.
RoMo - the excerpt I provided was a pastiche of the Moyet style (well, an exaggeration if I'm being honest. I'm like that). I see Yazoo are doing a tour ...

Arabella - you can't imagine an Austen heroine running anywhere, can you? How unladylike can you get? Empires would have crumbled if that had happened! I had an out of body experience in Bath when I was ten. Most unpleasant.
And......? You can't just leave me there, hanging! What happened?
I think I'll have to reveal the details of the Bath experience in a future post. Ideas are so thin on the ground these days that I rarely have anything to post.
Not a clue in hell.
I missed the Monty Python reference.
Plus I don't blog in a false Georgian 'first person removed' style either.

I have never felt more American.

*downing shots and crying*
"Mike is not "some bloke". He is a very naughty boy" from Vicus. That was the Python reference. I thought all Americans were supposed to know their Python inside out!

You must have a point though - I don't get many American readers over here. Or, indeed, readers from anywhere these days. I've become completely incomprehensible, even to myself.
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