Monday, July 16, 2007
FUR COAT AND NO KNICKERS
Fifty Per Cent, the rapper
The Mother In Law: "That Danielle Lloyd is in the paper again."
Me: "Oh, everybody has had their turn with her."
The Mother In Law: "She went out with that Teddy Sherrenham, and some other footballers, now she's seeing the rapper, Fifty Per Cent."
* * * * * * *
LATER THAT EVENING
Curvy Posh lets it all hang out for the boys in America
The Mother In Law: "Have you seen those pictures of Posh Spice in The Mirror? One of them is ever so disgusting. Honestly, look at this."
(she shows us a large picture of Posh wearing a corset and knickers while sitting with legs akimbo. There is not much meat on her and, as usual, she looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp.)
The Mother In Law: "The way she's sitting is disgusting. How can she do that as A MOTHER OF THREE? It's horrible."
Geoff: "It does look, er, horrible. She's not very nice looking."
Me: "Apparently there's a picture of her without any pants on from that photo session".
The Mother In Law: "Really? But honestly ... A MOTHER OF THREE."
Labels: all manner of filth, being a mother of three, hip hop, looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp, Teddy Sherrenham
Comments:
Posh Spice has zero talent and looks extremely odd.
Becks and Posh have the collective intelligence of an anorexic gnat.
Becks and Posh have the collective intelligence of an anorexic gnat.
Oh, but apparently they're the Brits who've got the biggest reception in America since The Beatles.
er, no, honestly!
er, no, honestly!
this being famous lark's a doddle really isn't it? Espesh if all you need is a fur coat, no knickers and 3 kids and no actual talent. I'm 3/4s there already and I'm sure I could could run up a fur coat out of the hearth rug, or, 'barbour and no knickers' has a classier ring to it don't you think?
No knickers, eh? I take it you'll be looking forward to her television documembwlntary which is also about to be aired?
As 'him who snores like a bison' says (when he is speaking to me and not snoring like a bison which is rare...) "ugh - Posh - would be like shagging a xylophone".
MJ - I thought all the stuff that's been on the telly about the way they've, ahem, "taken America by storm" was just hype designed to make the British feel good about "our" celebrities being big in the US. Depressing news.
Ziggi - Posh has got a long way on very little (well, very little charisma, very little flesh, very little talent). By the way "barbour and no knickers" - hasn't that already been done by Camilla Parker Bowles?!
Bill Grant - nooo, I won't be watching. It's all Last Of The Summer Wine and 'Allo 'Allo DVD's in our house of an evening. You can't beat a bit of "gentle" comedy as we old folks like to call it.
Rockmother - ha ha, cruel but fair. If she wears those plastic corsets during the act I should imagine it would make everything even less appealing.
Billy - I know. Perhaps it's possible to actually play a tune on her ribs. I nominate Kitchen Person by The Associates.
Ziggi - Posh has got a long way on very little (well, very little charisma, very little flesh, very little talent). By the way "barbour and no knickers" - hasn't that already been done by Camilla Parker Bowles?!
Bill Grant - nooo, I won't be watching. It's all Last Of The Summer Wine and 'Allo 'Allo DVD's in our house of an evening. You can't beat a bit of "gentle" comedy as we old folks like to call it.
Rockmother - ha ha, cruel but fair. If she wears those plastic corsets during the act I should imagine it would make everything even less appealing.
Billy - I know. Perhaps it's possible to actually play a tune on her ribs. I nominate Kitchen Person by The Associates.
# posted by 
: 7:33 pm
: 7:33 pm
Three of my faves from the blood-related, octogenarian Mrs Pither are:
"He's dead!"
"Who's dead, mother?"
"That Elvis Priestley."
"Well my lads, you've cooked your goose so you can lie on it!"
"These supermarkets are ridiculous. I mean, look at this! 'Automatic Duck!!' I ask you."
"No, ma, it says 'Aromatic Duck'."
"He's dead!"
"Who's dead, mother?"
"That Elvis Priestley."
"Well my lads, you've cooked your goose so you can lie on it!"
"These supermarkets are ridiculous. I mean, look at this! 'Automatic Duck!!' I ask you."
"No, ma, it says 'Aromatic Duck'."
Garfer: I'm afraid you've reminded me of the Paul Calf comment on David Beckham's lack of intelligence: (paraphrased) "People go on about how thick David Beckham is. Well, so what? He's a footballer. People don't say, 'That Stephen Hawking, he's a bit shit at football. Put him on the wing and he does nowt for ninety minutes...'"
Rhino 75 - Fifty Per Cent, the apathetic rapper! I hope I develop that knack of getting names slightly wrong once I've gone through the menopause.
Reg - I wonder how she reacted when J. B. Presley, the loony lefty writer and broadcaster, died?
Ben - heh heh. There have been at least three *intellectual* footballers though. Pat Nevin with his collection of Pixies albums, anyone? Eric Cantona and his metaphorical seagulls chasing trawlers? Then there was Graeme Le Saux with the "Le" in his name. He was into antique collecting y'know!
Reg - I wonder how she reacted when J. B. Presley, the loony lefty writer and broadcaster, died?
Ben - heh heh. There have been at least three *intellectual* footballers though. Pat Nevin with his collection of Pixies albums, anyone? Eric Cantona and his metaphorical seagulls chasing trawlers? Then there was Graeme Le Saux with the "Le" in his name. He was into antique collecting y'know!
I reckon Posh is so skinny her undies won't stay up hence the pics of her without them. And she can't sit with her knees together as they are so bony they might rub together and catch fire.
I'm just enjoying the fact that with every move they get further and further away from me. Maybe we can establish a football league on the moon, or maybe Mars.
Ha ha! I'm sure there'll be a football league established on Mars soon (or "soccer" as they call it out there). Despite that, I'm sure that British papers will still be full of pictures of Posh the minute she gets a new hairdo or goes house hunting in a Louis Vuitton spacesuit.
Post a Comment
