Saturday, February 24, 2007
HOWARD BEALE
It seems to be a widely held belief that all people who have blogs are nerds with poor communication skills.
Occasionally you'll see someone suggest "ooh, I've considered internet dating, but I'm really not sure. I've heard of these people who come across as really witty, funny and intelligent in their blogs or e-mails, but in real life they're just really boring and have terrible social skills and are not very good looking or anything" (yeah. So unlike you, eh?).
Anyway, relax, non-bloggers. I'm sure there are as many pushy nobodies who love the sound of their own voice who blog alongside all of the Dr Who obsessives and teccy geeks who are unable to hold a conversation consisting of more than one word grunts. Look, there must be SOME over confident wankers in the blogging game - a lot of them even admit that they're media whores!
Still, I'm pretty sure of where I am on the blogging spectrum.
I don't like sci fi novels or films, don't wear a lot of nylon and don't have personal hygeine issues, so that's a reasonable start ...
... but I've got very poor social skills.
A night out with me is as interesting as a Monday afternoon sat in a dentist's waiting room. I don't like talking to people, they don't like talking to me and an unhappy medium of monosyllabic *conversation*, awkward silences and avoided eye contact is the best you can hope for. Sorry, but I don't really like having to socialise and avoid it as much as possible. I don't see it as a problem and am perfectly happy provided I don't have to be around other people.
Still, these days you can't get *anywhere* in blogging unless you network.
Which means that this blog is destined to fade into obscurity because I won't be attending supah doopah blogmeets or kissing arse.
... and I'm perfectly happy about that.
At least I won't be involved in the following awful scenario which will probably happen at an A-list blogmeet near you at some point:
A-list blogger 1: "Hi! How's it going?!"
A-list blogger 2: "Oooh, things are a bit chaotic at the moment! It's all ... rather ... STRANGE ... actually!!!"
A-list blogger 1: "I knoooow! Mind you, I have to say .... LOVING your work, really ... that post you did about your grandfather's funeral where all his relatives came over from Denmark had me riveted. I have to confess, I shed a few tears. It was just marvellous."
A-list blogger 2: "Oh, gosh!"
A-list blogger 1: "And I believe congratulations are in order, what with the publishing contract and the weekly column in the Much Wenlock Chronicle!!!"
Etc., ad nauseum.
UPDATE AND DISCLAIMER: Of course, as someone who is positively Z-list, I realise that I wouldn't actually get an invitation to an A-list blogmeet, but would be stood outside like a smudgy-cheeked Dickensian chimney sweep ... "cor, there goes that Little Red Boat lady, all 'oity toity in 'er silk gown!"
Occasionally you'll see someone suggest "ooh, I've considered internet dating, but I'm really not sure. I've heard of these people who come across as really witty, funny and intelligent in their blogs or e-mails, but in real life they're just really boring and have terrible social skills and are not very good looking or anything" (yeah. So unlike you, eh?).
Anyway, relax, non-bloggers. I'm sure there are as many pushy nobodies who love the sound of their own voice who blog alongside all of the Dr Who obsessives and teccy geeks who are unable to hold a conversation consisting of more than one word grunts. Look, there must be SOME over confident wankers in the blogging game - a lot of them even admit that they're media whores!
Still, I'm pretty sure of where I am on the blogging spectrum.
I don't like sci fi novels or films, don't wear a lot of nylon and don't have personal hygeine issues, so that's a reasonable start ...
... but I've got very poor social skills.
A night out with me is as interesting as a Monday afternoon sat in a dentist's waiting room. I don't like talking to people, they don't like talking to me and an unhappy medium of monosyllabic *conversation*, awkward silences and avoided eye contact is the best you can hope for. Sorry, but I don't really like having to socialise and avoid it as much as possible. I don't see it as a problem and am perfectly happy provided I don't have to be around other people.
Still, these days you can't get *anywhere* in blogging unless you network.
Which means that this blog is destined to fade into obscurity because I won't be attending supah doopah blogmeets or kissing arse.
... and I'm perfectly happy about that.
At least I won't be involved in the following awful scenario which will probably happen at an A-list blogmeet near you at some point:
A-list blogger 1: "Hi! How's it going?!"
A-list blogger 2: "Oooh, things are a bit chaotic at the moment! It's all ... rather ... STRANGE ... actually!!!"
A-list blogger 1: "I knoooow! Mind you, I have to say .... LOVING your work, really ... that post you did about your grandfather's funeral where all his relatives came over from Denmark had me riveted. I have to confess, I shed a few tears. It was just marvellous."
A-list blogger 2: "Oh, gosh!"
A-list blogger 1: "And I believe congratulations are in order, what with the publishing contract and the weekly column in the Much Wenlock Chronicle!!!"
Etc., ad nauseum.
UPDATE AND DISCLAIMER: Of course, as someone who is positively Z-list, I realise that I wouldn't actually get an invitation to an A-list blogmeet, but would be stood outside like a smudgy-cheeked Dickensian chimney sweep ... "cor, there goes that Little Red Boat lady, all 'oity toity in 'er silk gown!"
Labels: Agnetha Faltskog's weird stalker, Dr Who, media whores, networking, social anxiety, the chattering classes
