Monday, May 19, 2008
HOLDEN BACK THE EARS
I've been surrounded by a lot of of disturbing phenomena in the last few days. Whenever I think of any of the following things that I've encountered, I feel a bit queasy.
1. I was informed by the mother in law that she was sat next to R*ger at lunch after a bowls do, and a bogey was dangling from his nostril, on her side.
2. The infamous Amy 'n' Pete 'n' baby mice video. "Wow! Look at the veins, you can see the blood pumping round the body!"
3. We watched a film called Hukkle which follows the *daily* life of some residents of a Hungarian village. Truly fucking disturbing. A toothless, permanently grinning, walnut faced old bloke has very annoying hiccups and reappears throughout, sat in front of a cottage. A pig with testicles the size of punch bags mounts a sow as a (human) couple look on in a state of satisfaction, having a celebratory drink. At a gathering of villagers at a meal a woman prepares a plate of (bleugh) pureed chicken for a man in dungarees who presumably couldn't be bothered to wear his dentures. Bleugh, BLEUGH. PUREED CHICKEN.
4. The story on the Holy Moly Mailout about Amanda Holden and Les Dennis. Probably freaked me out even more than the previous three.
We're living through the final days on this earth. Only Tom Cruise can save us, but I don't want to think of his maniacal, grinning face, because I'll start bawling.
1. I was informed by the mother in law that she was sat next to R*ger at lunch after a bowls do, and a bogey was dangling from his nostril, on her side.
2. The infamous Amy 'n' Pete 'n' baby mice video. "Wow! Look at the veins, you can see the blood pumping round the body!"
3. We watched a film called Hukkle which follows the *daily* life of some residents of a Hungarian village. Truly fucking disturbing. A toothless, permanently grinning, walnut faced old bloke has very annoying hiccups and reappears throughout, sat in front of a cottage. A pig with testicles the size of punch bags mounts a sow as a (human) couple look on in a state of satisfaction, having a celebratory drink. At a gathering of villagers at a meal a woman prepares a plate of (bleugh) pureed chicken for a man in dungarees who presumably couldn't be bothered to wear his dentures. Bleugh, BLEUGH. PUREED CHICKEN.
4. The story on the Holy Moly Mailout about Amanda Holden and Les Dennis. Probably freaked me out even more than the previous three.
We're living through the final days on this earth. Only Tom Cruise can save us, but I don't want to think of his maniacal, grinning face, because I'll start bawling.
Labels: Agnetha Faltskog's weird stalker, Amy and Pete - walking dead, copulating pigs, dangling bogeys, Dennis/Holden bum sex, disturbing phenomena, Hukkle, pureed chicken
