Friday, May 20, 2011


After weeks of crisis talks, an announcement has been made about the future of ITV's heavily criticised breakfast show Daybreak.

Since its launch last year, much has been said about the show's falling viewing figures.

Viewers have failed to warm to presenters Christine Bleakley and Adrian Chiles in the way that they have in the past with televisual giants such as Fiona Phillips, Andrew Castle and Anthea Turner.

It seems that ITV took a risk in choosing two presenters who didn't have bleached hair and - as has been pointed out many times - by allowing someone from the West Midlands to appear on TV before ten o'clock in the morning.

Chiles and Bleakley "weird, incoherent chemistry"

However, if viewers have been confused by the "outside the box" presence of Bleakley and Chiles on their screens, they will be even more confused by the announcement of the two new presenters who will take over from the pair in a few weeks - former West Ham United manager Avram Grant and BBC international correspondent Orla Guerin.

Grant and Guerin "sallow but somehow real"

The pair - not exactly known for their sparkling repartee or bubbly natures - have been chosen to "reflect the times we're living in" according to a source at ITV.

"People think that Daybreak viewers are just moronic breastfeeding nineteen year olds who can barely string a sentence together. Well - I've got news for them. Life is hard and then you die. When people switch on the telly first thing and see Avram and Orla staring back at them - that's how most people look first thing in the morning and that's how most people are - ashen faced, cadaverous and aware of the suffering around them. Most people don't give a fuck about Christian Louboutin shoeboots or Pippa Middleton's arse and it's about time that breakfast television started to represent THE PEOPLE."

The perky Daybreak set is to be replaced by eery shifting purple and crimson lighting and a montage of human bones rolling in the background. The main theme music will be a track from the first Swans album.

Adrian Chiles will be appearing as a judge on the next series of Ukraine's Got Talent.

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Oh God, Avram on the sofa, recounting his amusing massage parlour antics. I'd watch.
Betty. Only your presence would induce me to watch.
I still haven't recovered from the loss of Anthea... AND NOW THIS!!!
I like anything involving Swans.
I tried breakfast TV once. People being cheerful and loud in the morning. Didn't like it.

This sounds much more up my street.
I love this post.
PS Geoff's comment on my book post has only just appeared, I wasn't ignoring him!
I haven't seen Daybreak but my fave breakfast show out of Montreal is going under this summer.

It was a combination of serious news but infused with loads of laughs and levity and music.

I might have to do something productive with my mornings now.

The horror.
Cor, if they're looking for unsuitable presenters, I'll have a bash!

Don't fancy those two any more than Chiles and Bleakley
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Tim - when he was first announced as the new West Ham manager Geoff described him as "the prostitute using Israeli".

Vicus - I'm in negotiations but they haven't offered me the right amount of money yet.

Scarlet - there was no love lost between Eamonn and Anthea, so I've heard.

Billy - true, except the bullying ones that attack ducks on the river.

Annie - exactly. I look/feel like shit in the morning and can barely get my mind into second gear. Mind you, I'm like that for the rest of the day.

Ellie - cheers m'dear and welcome.

MJ - I think most British morning/daytime TV is designed to be so bad that it forces the, ahem, workshy to go out and look for work rather than endure what's on screen.

Laura - Oh, but apparently Chiles and Bleakley had that magical chemistry when they were on the One Show. Where did it all go wrong? We should form a prayer circle for them.
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