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Monday, May 18, 2009

DEVLIN A RED DRESS 

Last night we watched a documentary about the Norrrn Irrn music scene which, surprisingly, wasn't called Teenage Kicks ( ... but was called So Hard To Beat which is another line from the same song and therefore is more *knowing* blahdeblah).

There were contributions from said Undertones, grouchy old cNut VanTheMan, the bloke who wrote the Bay City Rollers' hits, Brian Kennedy, Bap Kennedy, Bip Kennedy, Bop Kennedy, Jimmy McCullough (who rather spectacularly looks and talks like a little old woman), very cute Tim Wheeler from Ash and Gary Lightbulb from the awful awful awful awful Snow Patrol.  

Every time I see Gary Lightbulb I recall the anecdote from a fan that appeared on Holy Moly's Mailout. It described an *encounter* with Gary when he was in an altered state hem hem, and the phrase "like trying to fit a slug into a coin slot" was used.  Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, mmmm.

There seem to have been a lot of bands from N.I. that faded back into obscurity even though they were fucking obscure enough to begin with.  They all had 1982 hairstyles and were called Ten Past Seven, Twenty To Four and Ten To Two.

How could the documentary fail to mention Norrrn Irrn's biggest, hardest, loudest and scariest Fenian riot grrrll act - The Bernadette Devlins?

... this was the band that drove the Rev. Ian Paisley to drink for the only time in his life. Yeah - the Rev. really DID partake of the Devil's Buttermilk!!

Shame on you, BBC 4.

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Comments:
You forgot about Clash wannabes Stiff Little Fingers, who despite being shite still insist on touring so that dimwits can punch the air and chant 'Alternative Ulster'.

Bernadette, Amy Winehouse, and Carol Ann Duffy would make a great agit prop girl band.
 
Garfer - I couldn't bring myself to mention Stiff Little Fingers because I'm reminded of the lad in my sixth form year who played Inflammable Material twice every day for a year. I think it was supposed to be *light relief* from whoever played Dark Side Of The Moon every day of the year, but ...
 
Gary Lightbulb is a switched on character in shades but sometimes turns incandescent.
 
um, you will cut me off without a shilling if I say I quite like Snow Patrol - but then, I am about 10 years older than you!

where did you find that pic of Bernie?

Remember that joke? What happened to the boyfriend of B Devlin (member for Mid Ulster) He was done for having something on his member ... old age has got to me and I can't recall the rest!
 
NI music is really all shit apart from the Undertones (I can say that as I'm a native). Gary moore has his moments I suppose. I really can't get along with Van at all. Ash are shit. Snow Patrol are shit.

My first ever gig was The Four Of Us when I was 14, did they feature? They were, briefly, the biggest band in Ireland. They weren't very good either..
 
After Reading Festival in 1995 I had a bit of a crush on Lovely Tim Wheeler from Ash. Rawwwr.
 
Anyone apart from me ever see
Bam Bam & The Calling?

I bet Bernadette never tried to 'expense' replacement dustbin lids when she was in the Commons.
 
Rog - I see him as a dim 20 watt bulb :( Probably a good thing to be in these energy conscious times though.

Rosneath - the Bernadette picture was on Google images. Good, innit? I can't remember the joke though. I think it would've been a bit sophisticated for my tastes when I was about nine!

Spinsterella - that seems a fair enough assessment, although I'm from a part of the world that has produced musical giants like The Wonderstuff and The Mighty Lemon Drops. Eee gods. The Four Of Us sound as if the would fit right in with the N.I. Numbers bands I mentioned (Twenty Past Seven, Ten To Two, Five Times Six etc). Is everyone good at maths in N.I.?

Boz - not really a fan of their music but he is vair vair cute and, I'm relieved to find out now over thirty so I feel a bit less guilty/unclean/disgusted with myself. Well, only slightly, actually.

Arabella - Bam Bam & The Calling are one of those bands I probably saw mentioned in a review and never felt inspired to take any further notice of, like virtually all bands. I'm very apathetic and lazy. Ha ha, I'd forgotten about the banging dustbin lids!
 
What about horrendous Enya and pipsqueakysounding Cranberries? Ruuubbbbish. I love that picture of Bernadette Devlin. She's just a devl'in disguiiiiiise - especially in that pinafore and boot combo. Oo-er.
 
Enya was probably Dolores of The Cranberries' mum. I really wanted some of those white knee high boots when I was eight. I eventually persuaded my mother to buy some but she insisted on taking the elastic around the tops out because she was convinced that I'd end up with varicose veins (!)
 
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