Monday, March 09, 2009


Friday night is of course Comic Relief night.

It is also the night when the real King Of Comedy returns.

In parallel with the return of Michael Jackson, the King Of Pop, Norman Collier will be back on our screens to wipe the floor with the opposition.

Norman has a ten minute prime time slot on Relief which has the potential to reach a new generation who have become tired of modern comedy.

As Denise Welch said on Loose Women last week "Norman Collier is the funniest thing ever".

Too true. But ... will eighty three year old Norman be able to call the shots after being away for so long? We'll all find out on Friday night.

For anyone who is unfortunate enough to be too young to remember Norman, this is he:

I was having a conversation the other night in which it was suggested that Norman "has a chicken-like aspect" ...

This may explain why a large part of Norman's act consists of him impersonating a chicken. Indeed, the only other bit of his act is the bit where he pretends to have a faulty microphone.

Rest assured though, by the end of Norman's slot on Comic Relief, so-called modern *blue* comedians such as Russell Brand and Ricky Gervais will be blown out of the water and will just seem like a bad dream.

See you all there at 8.43 on Friday night.

As Norman would say, "I st l th Ki g, acc t no s bst tes, one two, one two".

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If Norman Collier is to grace our screens, can Duncan "chase me!" Norvelle be far behind?

That's funny, because behind is like your bum, and that's what Duncan Norvelle does, which is funny, OK?
The faulty microphone stick just won't wash in these days of solid state elctronics with fail-safe circuitry.

He should stick to looking like a flightless red cock.
Tim - actually, Faith Brown ( ... ) said on Loose Women last week that variety is back, and that she was sharing a bill with Norman Collier, so Duncan Norville can't be far off the radar. Well, I've just proved what rubbsih I watch on TV anyway, haven't I?

Rog - I have the feeling that Norman's "target demographic", hem hem, wouldn't know anything about modern technology. In fact, they're virtually deaf and wouldn't know if a microphone was faulty or not. As for looking like a flightless red cock, hasn't Noel Edmonds already been doing that for years?
Impersonating a cock...

We've all been there.
'For anyone who is unfortunate enough to be too young to remember Norman'
Well .. that can't be me Betty - perhaps I forgot him.
Was he on Wheeltappers or Sunday Night at the London Palladium with Brucie?
I hope variety isn't back, I prefer cabaret. As long as Liza Minnelli doesn't feature.
MJ - you speak for yourself.

Kaz - he was on the 1971 Royal Variety Performance, but his reputation was apparently built up at grass roots level in the working men's clubs, which may explain why he didn't make an impression on you.

Billy - I would've thought that the audience for variety would be in their 70's at least by now. Mind you, people are living longer, so perhaps variety won't die out for another twenty years.
God I HATE comic relief.
It's being expected to find things funny on a certain day - I didn't respond well to bossy girls at school.
RoMo - I hate the forced jollity, and the fact that people who are famous for being pompous and rich (Bono for instance) end up in sketches with Ricky Gervais where, y'know, they demonstrate that they *really* have a sense of humour and are self deprecating, in the hope that we'll like them more. If Robert Mugabe was on Comic Relief, people would start to think "he's not a bad sort after all".

Arabella - exactly. If you watch a sketch in which a load of newsreaders do a dance routine to I Will Survive and you don't think it's funny on Comic Relief night then you're seen as an old misery chops who ought to lighten up and donate money to A Good Cause. Just for the one night a year, mind.
Oh crikey, I'm watching them all climbing up Kilimanjaro for Comic Relief. They're not cracking any jokes though.
Scarlet - it would only have been funny if Chris Moyles had fallen off the top.
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