Wednesday, January 28, 2009


Well, I had a look around the final bits of TK Maxx's final, final clearance of the January sales stock today, being a thrifty sort who likes to sift through old rubbish (which reminds me ... I need to tidy up my blog archives).

Mind you, this *sale* was beyond the *pale* - a few racks of shapeless black cardigans.  They looked as if they'd been used as bedding for a litter of irate tiger cubs.  Covered in bobbles, dubious white patches, holes and pulled out stitches ... for which they were still asking £6.  I ask you!  Should've been paying us at least a tenner to take them away.

There were some boots left in the sale, but, as expected, they were flat tan boots with thick crepe soles and cream flowery applique detail on the sides.  The sort of thing that Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull would have worn circa Ring Out Them Solstice Bells (or whatever it's called).  He would've worn them with brown corduroy breeches, a collarless white surplice, a tweed waistcoat (*westkit*??) and deerstalker hat.  These boots were only available in a size nine.  I mean to say, exactly how many six foot two, transgender progressive rock fans live in the Bexleyheath area?

Here is a picture of Ian Anderson in ~happier times~

Anyone who wishes to provide a suitable or amusing caption for the picture is welcome to do so, at the risk of winning a special Betty Hearts Disco t-shirt that's worth £55.99, but has been reduced to £8 in the TK Maxx sale.  There are sweat patches under the arms, the seams are coming undone and there's some sort of burn mark on the front, but it's still a bargain, yeah?

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TK maxx annoys me. A number of people I know rave about it, but I've never seen anything I like in there.
I mean to say, exactly how many six foot two, transgender progressive rock fans live in the Bexleyheath area?

How tall did you say Geoff is?
Ian doesn't frequent T K maxx as they never have cod pieces in his size.

Does Geoff hop about on one foot playing the flute? I think he should.
At least the cardigans were black, and not irridescent pink with lime spots, as is the norm with sales stuff.
Poor Ian - his hemorrhoids were obviously killing him.
And No - I couldn't spell hemorrhoids without some research.
He looks like a self-operating puppet in that picture.
Ian realized only too late that mexican food and vigorous prancing can be a deadly combination.
Billy - I've found one or two bargains but, then again, that's hardly a recommendation to anyone who dresses like a normal human being.

Vicus - that's a pity, because there are only six pairs of boots in the sale. They'll have to fight it out.

MJ - Seven foot eight.

Garfer - he prances around on one foot playing the trombone. He's very much his own man.

Scarlet - yes, and the cropped tops, pelmet skirts and backless dresses always end up on the sale rails. Contrary to retailers' beliefs, very few women actually want to look like Jodie Marsh.

Kaz - I would've just written "piles". Any word that contains that many h's, d's, m's and r's is to be avoided at all costs.

Kek - yes, and he looks like a Yuri Norstein character in that picture too.

FN - wearing leggings at the same time wasn't a very good idea either.
I've had the odd bargain from TK Maxx but you really have to spend a long time in there to fish them out. At least it's slightly tidier than Primark.
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