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Monday, July 07, 2008

THE AMRITRAJ BROTHERS 

Ah well, we decided to watch the Wimbledon Men's Final after all, what with it being a dreary day and with us not having anything better to do.  Maybe it could have renewed our interest in tennis after all.

The match lasted about three days and was declared in all quarters to be one of the best finals of all time - but I still couldn't feel involved or excited about watching it.

Roger Federer's more subtle play clashed with the powerhouse Rafael Nadal.  The shots these days are just too fast to appreciate.  Perhaps I would have enjoyed it more if everything had been shown at half speed.  Or perhaps I agree with this opinion.

At first we both backed Federer, but, in the dying minutes of the game, we wanted it to be over with and switched allegiance to Nadal.

The main reason for this?  Federer was backed by Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani who were sat next to Federer's girlfriend in the box.  I always thought the box was reserved for family, partners and coaches only, but it seems that Wimbledon has left the 1920's and has embraced celebrity culture.

This meant that every couple of minutes you would see Rossdale cheering when Federer won a point. His missus sat there in her 1987 crimson all day staying power lipstick with a face like thunder.  Why are rich people such miserable cnuts?

We wanted to see Gavin lose, not Federer.  We wanted to see him punching walls and possibly the Duke of Kent. All of the frustration of being a has been rockstar rising up to the surface after years of playing second fiddle to Gwen.

It didn't happen.

Whenever the US Open Final is on, you can guarantee that the camera will be on Yoko Ono wearing a pair of huge visor sunglasses every few minutes.  Perhaps that's all that you can expect from tennis now - celebrities detracting from the boring spectacle of the game itself.

Long gone are the days of sinister-faced gangland type Harry Carpenter declaring that the young Bjorn Borg had "brought the *tenny* boppers to Wimbledon".  

Or, indeed, the days of Dan Maskell saying "there's Miss Graf's mother in the box wearing a pink frock".

"It's a red blouse, actually", I would shout back at the screen.

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Comments:
Nobody in Britain would have had a baldy clue who Rossdale was if he hadn't hitched up with Stefani.

It's not as though his shite Nirvana lite band sold any records over here.

And the prat was wearing a combat style shirt with lots of pockets for silenced handguns, hunting knives and stuff.

Knob.
 
Who are Rossdale and Stefani?
Who are Federer and Nadal?
Why was Ms Graf senior in her coffin at Wimbledon (is it really that boring?)?
I am bewildered.
 
I really enjoyed it.

I wanted Nadal to win at first, then Federer - then both of them to stop playing and declare it a draw...maybe by that time I was getting a bit fed up ?

(I'm glad you've answered my 'is that Gwen Stefani or a woman who looks like Gwen Stefani?' question though. I liked that Gavin was getting really worked up while she looked as though she should've just given up and let her seat go to someone who might've given a toss either way!)
 
I remember Dan Maskell once saying "Virginia Wade looks beautiful in repose".
I always wondered how how knew.
 
How he knew
 
Nicely observed tennis post Betty. I had to stop watching it this year for fear of catching a fleeting glimpse of that smarmy arse Inverdale.

And Kaz appears to be laying into the sangria at 9.50am.
 
I don't like tennis.

More posts on The Men of Snooker, please.
 
Garfer - good character analysis of the prat Gavin Rossdale. I saw an interview in which he took umbrage with the journalist's suggestion that Bush hadn't sold any records in Britain. Humourless as well as talentless.

Vicus - Rossdale and Stefani won the mixed doubles championship in 1987. Federer and Nadal are joint partners who own an air conditioning firm near Dagenham. Mrs Graf wasn't in a coffin, she was in a red blouse.

Beth - I know, if the viewers get fed up then what must it be like for the players? You're right about Gwen Stefani too. Thing is, most of the people who attend the finals seem to be the sort of people who aren't interested in tennis anyway but have the right connections.

Kaz -perhaps that was one of Dan Maskell's fantasies. I'll try not to think about it too much. I don't think Virginia would have been interested in his advances somehow.

Murph - I usually try to avoid any appearance at Wimbledon by Ann Jones or Pam Shriver. They both frighten me. If I was in Spain, I'd be hitting the Sangria in the morning.

Mj - I've exhausted The Men Of Snooker. Tennis players aren't very sexy though, are they, despite the tennis whites and the ultra fitness. Just my opinion, of course.
 
Ah, Bush. They were rubbish. Friends at school liked them, and I took endless pleasure in ridiculing them.

I have to say, that I enjoyed the final in parts, but yes, I wanted it to just be over in the end. I had stuff to do.
 
It's disappointing how TV directors seem to think we're more interested in celebs than in sport. I look forward to seeing Madonna and Guy Ritchie patching things up at the Kidderminster Harriers v Northwich Victoria game next season - live on SkySports 17.
 
Del - we saw their lone British "hit" single on YouTube to remind us of their glory days. God, they really were a dire, bad Nirvana copy band, weren't they? That match used up too much of Sunday!

Malc - to be fair, Madonna has been a Kidderminster Harriers fan since about 1970, so it's only fair that she should get one of the best seats in the ground. She's also a fan of tractor pulling (Eurosports 3678 every third Wednesday in the month, with Spanish commentary).
 
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