Saturday, November 10, 2007
BONER
This is me at around 15:30 GMT today hyped up on a cocktail of painkillers and sedatives (that Codeine is some good shit man, as a Spacemen Three fan might say).I've got my arm in a semi-cast to allow it to swell up and cause me to have sleepless nights because of the fucking pain. I've got a fractured wrist and will furnish you with the full, tedious details in the next post.
I'm trying to make a rude gesture in the picture, but have got limited arm movement and can't get it up.
*waits for inevitable comment from MJ regarding previous paragraph*
In the meantime, all messages of sympathy, donations of money and offers of help to look after me from beautiful Scandinavian men to be sent to the usual address.
Labels: beautiful Scandinavian men, fractured wrist, painkillers, the finger
Comments:
are you right handed?
take your mind off it be spilling the beans about the Stafford Railway Station Meeting!
As soon as I find a spare one, I will send a Scandinavian sex god to tend to your every need and whim, meanwhile you have my sympathy which won't do you any good at all but is heartfelt none the less.
take your mind off it be spilling the beans about the Stafford Railway Station Meeting!
As soon as I find a spare one, I will send a Scandinavian sex god to tend to your every need and whim, meanwhile you have my sympathy which won't do you any good at all but is heartfelt none the less.
Awww! Sawry for you I am indeed being. Feeling your pain I am after hurting my knee also I did in skiing accident in the sowna.
Soon I hope you are well getting. In the time meaning I send you best wishes and Volvos and copies of Waterloo (crazy Euro rock music) from my cabin outside Trondheim.
P.S. Bright side on which there is you could look. Saving you will be much on toilet roll while you sling your arm in such a fashion.
Love and smorgesboards,
Regisson.
Soon I hope you are well getting. In the time meaning I send you best wishes and Volvos and copies of Waterloo (crazy Euro rock music) from my cabin outside Trondheim.
P.S. Bright side on which there is you could look. Saving you will be much on toilet roll while you sling your arm in such a fashion.
Love and smorgesboards,
Regisson.
P.P.S. Seen you have....oh, bollocks! Enough of that. Have you seen what they're planning to do to the international beauty spot for which you yearn daily - aka Digbeth Coach Station? They're only going to spend millions making it into a place human beings would feel comfortable using!! It's political correctness gone mad!!!
It wasn't what we doctors call a case of "P.A.F.O." was it Betty?
Can we all sign the cast at least?
Wordver = "pafo"
Can we all sign the cast at least?
Wordver = "pafo"
Crikey, that's a giant finger. I wouldn't fancy being gesticulated at with that.
I was a roadie for Aha. Will I do?
I was a roadie for Aha. Will I do?
Ziggi - thank you. Any Scando sex gods to be sent at haste to the usual address. The Stafford Railway Station Story will forever remain under wraps. Yeah - I am right handed, which means that I've got a few problems at the moment. Oh yeah, and it takes me several years to reply to comments. Bah.
Reg - what, Digbeth Coach Station? Are they going to do some sort of St Pancras makeover? This is not on! Perhaps someone should start a petition over at Birmingham: It's Not Shit.
Istvanski - no, I got help from a team of people to get it on, and the results were very satisfactory.
Murph - that definitely wasn't the reason but I bet a few of the nurses and doctors I encountered thought it was and they were just humouring me when they said "well, these sort of things just happen". What will you sign the cast with - a paw mark?
Garfer - yeah, that finger looks enormous, a pity it's not in 3D. Hmm ... maybe lighting manager for Roxette ...
Reg - what, Digbeth Coach Station? Are they going to do some sort of St Pancras makeover? This is not on! Perhaps someone should start a petition over at Birmingham: It's Not Shit.
Istvanski - no, I got help from a team of people to get it on, and the results were very satisfactory.
Murph - that definitely wasn't the reason but I bet a few of the nurses and doctors I encountered thought it was and they were just humouring me when they said "well, these sort of things just happen". What will you sign the cast with - a paw mark?
Garfer - yeah, that finger looks enormous, a pity it's not in 3D. Hmm ... maybe lighting manager for Roxette ...
See what happens as soon as I show up, you break your bloody arm.
Now I'd say that's quite a skinny finger (Tom makes adjustments to the Betty in his imagination).
Now I'd say that's quite a skinny finger (Tom makes adjustments to the Betty in his imagination).
Who has fingers of sausage....
As I was trying to say - Betty, you have the fingers of a concert pianist. Not much use at a time like this, but nice to behold nontheless.
As I was trying to say - Betty, you have the fingers of a concert pianist. Not much use at a time like this, but nice to behold nontheless.
I hope that it is a case of the late hour causing my imagination to be somewhat overactive, but are there chevrons on your arm pointing the way to your naughty bits?
I am 1/4 Swedish..will that do?
Does it matter which quarter?
I certainly hope that they gave you some of the 'good' stuff to take home.
It would have been fun to put a little cast on that finger.
Does it matter which quarter?
I certainly hope that they gave you some of the 'good' stuff to take home.
It would have been fun to put a little cast on that finger.
Were you playing air guitar again Betty?
What elegant fingers you have! I wish your hand better...
(PS I was a Spaceman 3 fan, man! We used to go and see them religiously. My friend had a leather biker's jacket with their pyramid logo painstakingly painted on the back - unfortunately he was dyslexic so it read 'Spacman 3'.)
What elegant fingers you have! I wish your hand better...
(PS I was a Spaceman 3 fan, man! We used to go and see them religiously. My friend had a leather biker's jacket with their pyramid logo painstakingly painted on the back - unfortunately he was dyslexic so it read 'Spacman 3'.)
Beautiful Scandinavian men?
What's wrong with Geoff?
I hope he is acting as your devoted lackey - but he'll get his own back when you're better.
They always do..
P.S. Look after the other hand.
What's wrong with Geoff?
I hope he is acting as your devoted lackey - but he'll get his own back when you're better.
They always do..
P.S. Look after the other hand.
Tom - yeah, I've got skinny witchy fingers. Did you think I had fat clammy hands then?
Arabella - still, it I actually WAS a concert pianist, my current predicament would be even worse, wouldn't it?
Vicus - I don't have any naughty bits, only good bits.
HE - mongrelised? Why not? Sadly, I didn't get to take home any interesting narcotics. I was too polite to ask :(
Kate -thanks! At least you didn't see it before it was pulled back into shape. Yech.
Annie - I was lifting a laundry basket off a cupboard, which couldn't be less rock 'n' roll. Elegant fingers? Yeah, but the rest of me is an inelegant wreck, unfortunateley. Spacmen 3? *guffaws*
Doppelganger - were they Spacemen 3's weird and twisted evil twin? Hmm, sounds familiar ...
Kaz - Geoff has been acting as a devoted lackey, and I've even sent him out to buy some hair straighteners in a coiffure related emergency. Now there's true devotion. Mind you, you can never have enough of beautiful men, I think.
Arabella - still, it I actually WAS a concert pianist, my current predicament would be even worse, wouldn't it?
Vicus - I don't have any naughty bits, only good bits.
HE - mongrelised? Why not? Sadly, I didn't get to take home any interesting narcotics. I was too polite to ask :(
Kate -thanks! At least you didn't see it before it was pulled back into shape. Yech.
Annie - I was lifting a laundry basket off a cupboard, which couldn't be less rock 'n' roll. Elegant fingers? Yeah, but the rest of me is an inelegant wreck, unfortunateley. Spacmen 3? *guffaws*
Doppelganger - were they Spacemen 3's weird and twisted evil twin? Hmm, sounds familiar ...
Kaz - Geoff has been acting as a devoted lackey, and I've even sent him out to buy some hair straighteners in a coiffure related emergency. Now there's true devotion. Mind you, you can never have enough of beautiful men, I think.
Rude gesture?
Why, I was merely going to comment on how finely manicured your nails are.
More about the "coiffure related emergency" please.
And will you be putting a latex glove on before you give Geoff his examination?
Why, I was merely going to comment on how finely manicured your nails are.
More about the "coiffure related emergency" please.
And will you be putting a latex glove on before you give Geoff his examination?
Ouwch! I know how that feels.
'Message of sympathy' and if I had access to any beautiful Scandinavian men I'd send them round.
'Message of sympathy' and if I had access to any beautiful Scandinavian men I'd send them round.
MJ - I normally use a straightening brush with a hairdryer on the front bits of my hair, but due to inability to use both hands was facing the terrible possibility that I would end up looking like that bint from Flashdance. It's not 1983! Anyway, crisis averted, happily. I will be examining Geoff with my prosthetic hand for the forerseeabe future.
Billy - oh, I'd willingly do a swap. The cast looks rubbish and is weighing down my upper arm, so I've got an aching shoulder to add to my problems. Bah.
Beth - thank you. Sorry if you went through the same ordeal and it's bringing back unhappy memories! Beautiful Scandinsvian men are hard to come by, unfortunately.
Billy - oh, I'd willingly do a swap. The cast looks rubbish and is weighing down my upper arm, so I've got an aching shoulder to add to my problems. Bah.
Beth - thank you. Sorry if you went through the same ordeal and it's bringing back unhappy memories! Beautiful Scandinsvian men are hard to come by, unfortunately.
Dive - alcohol is helping, and I'm probably going to score some opium in the back streets of Barnehurst later on tonight.
What a nightmare.
I warned you about those back-street Arm-Wrestling bouts...
I hear they're remaking Stallone's Over the Top, etc, etc.
Get well soon!
I warned you about those back-street Arm-Wrestling bouts...
I hear they're remaking Stallone's Over the Top, etc, etc.
Get well soon!
Ouch! I'm sending over some Syrup of Figs to counteract the binding effects of Codeine. It was made in Sweden. That's the best I can do I'm afraid. Spacman 3 - Jason is a spacman as far as I am concerned. Is he better now? He was Doherty's role model I reckon despite being much more talented and hardcore than Doherty could ever be. I hope it gets better soon.
Betty, it's your fault I thought you were fat, cos you are so bloody coy about showing us what you look like. But actually I am enjoying the mystery - think that's both hands we've seen now isn't it.
Betty, it's your fault I thought you were fat, cos you are so bloody coy about showing us what you look like. But actually I am enjoying the mystery - think that's both hands we've seen now isn't it.
It's come to this has it, Bettster?: Breaking your own limbs in order to get *even* *more* *comments* than me than usual????
It's just a childish cry for help folks - don't indulge her...in reality, she's sat there with her feet up, a sly gin and it on the go, doing some knitting or stroking a fluffy white cat or something equally sinister with that "injured" arm of hers...
Honestly - some people will do anything for attention...
Oh dear - I appear to have fractured a rib....
(Leave your get well messages/Scandanavian hunks/money etc. here:
http://rswipe.blogspot.com
Bob
p.s. I have Swedish ancestry, apparently. Strongbow was an old family name, I'm told. Hence the falxon hair. I'm not sure if this entitles me to a share in the lucrative Cider business, but you never know...
p.p.s. Very fetching top Bettster - can you try to break one of your legs next time, please?
p.p.p.s. Get well soon Betty
It's just a childish cry for help folks - don't indulge her...in reality, she's sat there with her feet up, a sly gin and it on the go, doing some knitting or stroking a fluffy white cat or something equally sinister with that "injured" arm of hers...
Honestly - some people will do anything for attention...
Oh dear - I appear to have fractured a rib....
(Leave your get well messages/Scandanavian hunks/money etc. here:
http://rswipe.blogspot.com
Bob
p.s. I have Swedish ancestry, apparently. Strongbow was an old family name, I'm told. Hence the falxon hair. I'm not sure if this entitles me to a share in the lucrative Cider business, but you never know...
p.p.s. Very fetching top Bettster - can you try to break one of your legs next time, please?
p.p.p.s. Get well soon Betty
Sorry - I met flaxen hair. I must stop cut and pasting those wrod vrecififiiffificatoiins...
Bobsters
p.s. hrigkvg: wan't *he* in a-Ha?
Bobsters
p.s. hrigkvg: wan't *he* in a-Ha?
Kek - thanks. Actually, I'm the world's worst arm wrestler, and could easily be beaten by a two year old. No upper body strength or bone density, hence the fracture. Perhaps I should take up boxing ...
Romo - I can assurebyou that the Codeine didn't have a bonding effect, probably because of the diet of Nurofen, Paracetemol, booze and tea that's helped me to survive over the weekend. Ladies And Gentlemen - We Are Floating In Munterspace! Dear old Jason. I'll never be able to look at a biro refill without thinking of him.
Tom - well, who knows? I may be hugeley fat, but have thin hands ... actually I look like a '70's radical feminist (frizzy hair, twenty stone, cheesecloth smocks, big corned beef legs). That's ruined the mystery.
Bob - get well soon! It's getting more and more competitive in the blogging world these days. All those people doing post about their dead grandads and their miserable childhoods - you begin to feel left out of it all. I tell you, beating my hand with a lump hammer was so worth it. Falxon hair is an old Scottish remedy for ringworm. Hmm, I'm considering posting the pictures of the huge bruises on mt legs which are just breaking through now. I like the idea of upsetting people.
Romo - I can assurebyou that the Codeine didn't have a bonding effect, probably because of the diet of Nurofen, Paracetemol, booze and tea that's helped me to survive over the weekend. Ladies And Gentlemen - We Are Floating In Munterspace! Dear old Jason. I'll never be able to look at a biro refill without thinking of him.
Tom - well, who knows? I may be hugeley fat, but have thin hands ... actually I look like a '70's radical feminist (frizzy hair, twenty stone, cheesecloth smocks, big corned beef legs). That's ruined the mystery.
Bob - get well soon! It's getting more and more competitive in the blogging world these days. All those people doing post about their dead grandads and their miserable childhoods - you begin to feel left out of it all. I tell you, beating my hand with a lump hammer was so worth it. Falxon hair is an old Scottish remedy for ringworm. Hmm, I'm considering posting the pictures of the huge bruises on mt legs which are just breaking through now. I like the idea of upsetting people.
Oooh, my mum did that, falling down some stairs in NZ. She got a big, steak-justifying shiner as well, and concussion that made her talk mental for seven hours.
MJ - I know that's what I should do, but all of those years of learning the QWERTY keyboard at Walsall College For Training In How To Become A Young Lady will have gone to waste!
Tim -sadly, I didn't get to the talking mental for seven hours stage, but I seem to be heading for a nervous breakdown, so that,s something to look forward to.
Tim -sadly, I didn't get to the talking mental for seven hours stage, but I seem to be heading for a nervous breakdown, so that,s something to look forward to.
Betty, using the same software they use in CSI and CSI:Miami, and to a lesser extent in CSI:New York (not to mention Crosby, Stills, Nash, and CSI), I have been able to reconstruct an image of your face from the reflection in your fingernail.
I will be posting it on the Crimestoppers web site before long.
I will be posting it on the Crimestoppers web site before long.
# posted by 
: 8:01 pm
: 8:01 pm
ow - all my sympathy and just think, you wouldn't be able to do much with a Scandowegian if you had one!
# posted by : 8:51 pm
: 8:51 pm
Max Bob - they can't touch me for it, I ain't done nuffin' and only God can judge me anyway.
*hurriedly packs suitcases, finds passport and phones around "business associates" in Spain*
Belle - I can always get them to open jars of Marmite for me, blowdry my hair, use tweezers on the bristles on my chin ... hold on, all the worries I expressed a couple of posts back are coming true!
*hurriedly packs suitcases, finds passport and phones around "business associates" in Spain*
Belle - I can always get them to open jars of Marmite for me, blowdry my hair, use tweezers on the bristles on my chin ... hold on, all the worries I expressed a couple of posts back are coming true!
ouch! poor you - i dislocated and simultaneously fractired my elbow a couple of years ago - effing HORRIBLE. the only nice bit was the gas'n'air and morphine they gave me at the hospital. get well soon - and take all the drugs you can get. x
(i had to use a voice recognition to get on with work and very nearly wrote a surrealist novel as a result.)
(i had to use a voice recognition to get on with work and very nearly wrote a surrealist novel as a result.)
# posted by : 10:25 am
: 10:25 am
Rivergirlie - dislocated AND fractured elbow? Yeeech - sounds horrendous. Makes what I'm going through seem like small potatoes. I've actually managed to get by on non-prescription drugs these past few days, albeit not sleeping for more than two/three hours because of discomfort. Perhaps I've been a bit shortchanged in the drugs department!
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