Monday, August 06, 2007


Gentle Giant

We are sitting in our living room reading various bits of the Saturday Grauniad.

Geoff is reading a story about the large, shaggy, Newfoundland dog that has apparently been mistakenly dubbed "The Beast Of Dartmoor", although there appears to be some dispute about this.

"I bet that the dog's referred to as A Gentle Giant at some point in that article" I say.

"How high is the chance?" asks Geoff.

"Oh, it's got to be at least eighty per cent. I'd be very surprised if it wasn't."

A few minutes later, Geoff has finished reading the article.

"Well, the dog wasn't described as A Gentle Giant, but he was described as ..."

"... A Big Softy?" I suggest.

"Yes" replies Geoff.

A Big Softy

You'll notice that the expression A Gentle Giant DOES occur in the online BBC story, however.

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"Oooh!" I thought, reaching for my iPod to dig up a load of Gentle Giant stuff.
Then I realised it's just a cruel trick you're playing to remind me how bloody OLD I am.
Rats …
Hairy men in tight trousers.

Now that's what I call rock 'n' roll.
Betty - you are a prophet in your own lunchtime!
My Uncle had a Newfie and it was a GG! Newfies have webbed feet and whenever they are at the beach they love to drag the kids back to shore.

Another huge dog, Irish Wolfhounds, are ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, referred to as GGs.
If only all Beasts were Gentle Giants, the World would be a happier place!

I'm normally described as "cool and sophisticated" like Eddie Murphy. Not here, obviously.
I'm surprised you didn't illustrate this with a picture of They Might Be Giants - like two clones of David Byrne that they are.

What about "wouldn't hurt a fly". Or is that only used for psychotic beasts.
Dive - being forty four, I'm not in a position to take the mickey out of anyone for being old! Geoff decided to get some Gentle Giant CD's recently because he's attempting to catch up on loads of progressive bands that he missed out on first time around. Actually, I like them, but I have no shame.

Garfer - they weren't going to end up as Jackie pin ups, were they? Still not quite as ugly as Canned Heat thought!

Kaz - well spotted. This post was designed to portray ME in a very good light. Everyone needs to know what a genius I am.

HE - Newfoundlands tend to like rescuing people from water, don't they? It's a weird instinct to have. Imagine humans being like that ... "ooh, I just fancy jumping into the sea and saving someone from drowning!"

Murph - I think of you more as the Noel Coward of blogging. I don't think Mel B. would use terms like "cool and sophisticated" to describe Eddie Murphy.

Billy - oh, I can't stand They Might Be Giants. Clever clever, wacky, zany, quirky ... always words that should set alarm bells ringing.

"Wouldn't harm a fly" is an expression generally used by owners of Rotweilers that have chewed babies' limbs off, or the mothers of serial killers.
There was a seven foot tall great dane in today's "Currant Bun".
True story.
Isvanski - perhaps it's open season in the papers on enormous dogs. This sort of thing happens when the weather gets better.
A friend of mine, ahem, was watching Jichard and Rudy yesterday and he/she tells me there were some big fluffy gentle giants of dogs, man's best friend, you know, wouldn't hurt a fly, (all present and correct). He /she can't remember what type they were, Tibetan shaggy dogs, but they're selling for £100,000 each in China at the moment.

Jichard was trying to make one of them bark by shouting "BARK" in its face. Fool. It could've taken his head off with a single bite. And probably would've done if it hadn't been for Rudy casting protective Hoodoo spells under her breath in the background.
nice doggie
Don't know the name of the Gentle Giant on the far right of the picture but goodness me: "touch me not, me name's temptation", or what?
BBB - I should imagine being married to Richard Madeley means having a much higher threshold to embarrassment than the national average. Still, his anecdote the other day about being goosed by Wilfred Owen in a bar when he was younger was quite good.

By the way, please advise *your friend* that the dogs were Tibetan Mastiffs!

Ziggi - he wouldn't harm a fly. Don't disturb him when he's eating, though.

Arabella - what about the drummer? He's the second from right. A powerhouse of a man with oodles of charisma and sultry looks.
Second from the right appears to be Graeme Garden's less talented brother and on the far left is that Newfoundland. The dodgy geezer with the reassuring smile on the far right must be Peter Sutcliffe, second left is, apparently, one of the McGann octuplets and the bloke at the front is just someone who's pissed off because he didn't wear his platforms for the photoshoot.
I don't remember them, I'm afraid. Did they do Chirpy, Chirpy, Cheep, Cheep or were they more middle of the road?
Reg, I'm not sure that they did a version of Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep. If you're not careful I'll just turn this blog into a series of prog rock YouTube clips.
Newfies are lovely and not at all beastlike! Most are very amiable - big, cuddly, doggy-smelling teddy bears.
Llewtrah - I've always liked really big dogs rather than yappy little rat dogs (Yorkshire Terriers, Cairns, Chihuahuas, yuck). Well, only liked them from afar. I wasn't allowed to have any pets (apart from a goldfish that died after a few weeks. I don't think my parents were even happy about that!)
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