Sunday, April 08, 2007


Soon we'll be going out for a long hearty walk in the countryside, although I can't reveal the location because it would compromise my enigmatic blogging persona. Hopefully we won't be attacked by a large, wolf-like dog, which happened when we last undertook a long hearty walk in the countryside.

I'd like to convey my thanks to the reader who donated Simnel cake IN PERSON. I'm overcome with guilt because I couldn't provide a suitable Easter gift in return but, be thankful for small mercies. I could have baked something for you, and you really wouldn't want that.

Anyway, I'm overcome with happiness because I can announce that tonight is VAL DOONICAN EVENING on BBC Four.

Hopefully the scheduled programmes will give us THE TRUTH behind the myth, the jumpers and the rocking chair.

We may even find out if he really does rate online banking and the computer spellcheck facility, as described on Wikipedia.

What a lovely thing to come home to after a hard day of walking heartily in an undisclosed destination in the countryside. I may even have a mug of cocoa to accompany the viewing.

A happy Easter to all of my millions of bedridden readers around the world. Be at peace with your pipe.

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Sounds like more than a plan, Betty.
Will you have time on your rosy-cheeked return to fit in some toasting of crumpets over an open fire, a slice of that cake grannies always make and then, at bedtime, a heartfelt chorus of "Night, Betty", "Night, Jimbob", "Night, Betty", "Night, Mary-Lou" etc etc?
I'm only jealous! Enjoy the fresh air and your day as all days should be.
P.S. Does Val still begin his shows with that blood-curdling cry of "Let's rock!!"? (pun intended).
Alas. I'll probably have to wait 2 years for it to reach BBC Canada.
Reg - thank you. I may have some of the Simnel cake but I'll forego the toasted crumpets. As for the day out, we ended up being in the middle of a Civil War re-enactment. Enough said.

In tune with the times, Val has ditched the rocking chair and now starts his shows with the expression "All you fucking fuckers are fucking fuckwits".

MJ - you mean it'll end up being shown on BBC Canada? According to Homo Escapeons, Val Doonican means absolutely nothing in Cananda. Which is a disgrace.
I'm inordinately fond of Civil War Re-Enactments, meself. Dressing up and playing with things that go bang is always fun.

Sorry about the outbreak of Civil War. Still, have a nice weekend. Just a word of advice, don't listen to Doris - she is a loony. Believe me, I know. Lovely but loony!
Homo Escapades is correct. VD means nothing in Canada.

And BBC Canada has become obsessed with British home improvement shows to the detriment of your other fine programming.
Your gift was both of you being so lovelyxxx Thankyou for being so wonderful and kind.
You should try the 'Galette du roi' now, where you can find a small china animal from the nativity in the middle of the cake. I was quite amused to crunch down on a Royal Daulton cow in the middle of me afternoon tea. I've still got the cow. I'll see if I can track you one down. I'm hoping to get the whole nativity set by the time I'm 75...I'll probably have the same amount of fillings by the end of it.
That Doris sounds fun actually. I think we should keep her.
Betty, I think your other half has blown the secret location thing...
Doris - it was quite funny seeing all those blokes looking very serious, sitting around camp fires even though it was about 65 degrees fahrenheit in the shade. I was imagining their conversation about battle strategy "...ooh, by the way, did you see The Apprentice the other night?"

Reg - we all need to be a bit mad to stay sane in this world.

MJ - "VD means nothing in Canada". I hope you don't say that round at Piggy & Tazzy's or you'll be deluged with all sorts of interesting accusations.

Simnel Queen - gee, shucks, you know that isn't true. We're a pair of hard faced miseries! Thanks all the same.

Marzipan Laydeeee - sounds like a horrendous experience. It's the progress of the ceramics through the digestive system that's most worrying.

Small Round Ball Of Almond Paste - yeah, Doris rocks.

Boz - I know. He can't keep his trap shut. Still, at least it was after the event, so I can still remain a bit of an enigma.
are you expecting hallucinations again? this could set off some horiffic mental aftershocks for you, you know.
First Nations - no mental aftershocks yet, even though I saw the programme last night. Perhaps it's something that will hit me in about five years time, and I'll just have a breakdown and be a gibbering wreck for the rest of my life.
So did you evade large wolf-like dogs or did you and Geoff have to fight them off with your bare hands?

Happy (belated) Easter to you too!
Well I certainly hope that you enjoy prowling the moors of Devonshire avoiding the Hound of the Baskervilles.

I concur with mj's reiteration that Doom Vatican is simply a non-entity here in the Colony...which appears to be a good thing because he looks like the British version of Pat Boone.
Ben - I hope your Easter was happy as well. We didn't have any encounters with ferocious dogs this time but there were quite a few Civil War re-enactment Confederate and Yankie soldiers hanging around who could've turned nasty.

HE - Devon? Chance would be a fine thing. We spent our day out in Essex. I don't think Hound Of The Baskervilles would've become so popular if the murders had been set in Essex.

Val Doonican was considered to be the Irish Perry Como, but he claimed he was more influenced by Bing Crosby.
Did you see the programme on Jackie magazine last night?
Rockmother - yeah, I did. I did think about writing a post about it but I couldn't do yet another corny/retro/'70's TV review. Mind you, I'm losing the will to blog about anything at the moment ... we shall see.
Yes - I know what you mean - I was rather hoping you would so I didn't have to. I've become a bit obssessed and am currently bidding on job lots of Jackie and Blue Jeans magazines on ebay as a result of that programme!
I used to know one half of the 'Cathy & Claire' agony aunts in Jackie and was devastated to learn that some of those agonies were fictional. Not the one I wrote in 1972, of course.
Rockmother - I might do some sort of post on girl's magazines, but I'm having difficulty thinking of how to go about it as I've lost me blogging mojo at the moment.

Arabella - think of all those young girls who thought that there really were two people called Cathy and Claire ... I wonder how many of them have been devestated to find out that they didn't really exist?
That was the only reason I bought or somehow acquired Jackie - for Cathy and Claire. Some of those strumpets! And it was a relief to find out that french kissing didn't make you pregnant - not that I knew what french kissing was despite practising on my hand as advised and feeling a bit like I was being 'rude'.
Rockmother - I don't think French kissing had been invented when I started reading Jackie in about 1972. Holding hands with a boy was as spicy as it got. Which was a good thing, because I was only nine years old. Heh!
Oh dear! What I shame I appear to have passed this way too late and have missed it.


". . . and a tale to let you know which end he wanted to be fed . . ."
Did he do "Delaney Had a Donkey"?

damn it all, you've even got me humming the wrong bloody Irish toons!

(although it might be his - sounds like the sort of thing he'd've done to death - so was it?)
and finally that's "tail" obviously
Zigg- - yes, there was some exciting footage of Val performing Delaney's Donkey on the Easter show. An Irish academic said that songs like that were pretty demeaning towards Irish people. Mind you, if I was Irish I think I'd be more pissed off being represented by Bono.
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