Tuesday, March 20, 2007


A raven caught in one of the unseasonal snowstorms, earlier today.

This blog tends to cover the same old ground again and again. I thought - hey! I haven't done a pointless Coronation Street post for at least er ... a few weeks, have I? Always a popular choice of topic, because hardly any of you watch it, apart from someone in Canada who sees shows from about six months ago and doesn't really want to find out about future plots.

I'd just like to say that I don't like the new family that's moved in. Or is it just something to do with the terrible storylines that they've been given so far?

They comprise Sinbad from Brookside (aged fifty), his eldest daughter (who is about forty five) and two much younger children.

So far we've not found out much about Sinbad apart from the fact that he plays Compact Snap! - The Hits Collection by The Jam REALLY LOUD. Sinbad apparently used to be in a punk band with a rude name.

The idea that Sinbad And His Fifty Eight Inch waist used to be a scraggy amphetamine fuelled punk is about as convincing as the storyline where the dad of that awful Yorkshire family admitted that he'd bunked off school to see Joy Division at the Leeds Futurama festival.

As happened when the awful Yorkshire family first arrived, I'm making bets on who is going to be the first to be bumped off, and when.

It's a pity, because so far I've quite liked the Connor family, aka The Gathering Of Ravens. When they're all together, it looks as if there's a competition going on to find out who has got the BLACKEST hair - Paul, wife Carla, Kym Marsh from Hear'say, her pop eyed son or the frankly rather do-able Liam (... it's alright ... I've looked it up. He's over thirty, so I don't feel *too* unclean).

Many of the Raven Gatherings take place at Paul and Carla's flat, which ought to win some sort of award for the interior decor. With its 1960's Working Men's Club wallpaper, open brickwork and enormous chandelier it undoubtedly deserves to win this year's Most Ridiculous Furnishings On A Soap award.

Coming soon - the weekly knitting pattern.

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Excellent. I have no idea what you are talking about.
If you like Coronation Street you might just like Corrieblog chuck.
Nine months behind here in Canada.


I feel heavy just thinking about it.

And I suddenly crave pickles. And hot pot.
I'm not sure I approve of the cross-pollination of actors (by actors I mean people-pulled-in-off-the-street*!*-in-Hyde etc)in soap operas.
If I hadn't stopped watching when I left the country years ago, I'd be confused.
Unfortunately for the single fan (mj) here in the Colonies, the Canadian Broadcorping Castration receives the Chlorination Street episodes nine months behind, and in no particular order, because the video tape is unwound and crammed into sealed bottles which are tossed into the Atlantic and are left to haphazardly meander at sea for approximately 2 months.

The tapes are usually scooped up in nets of disaffected Newfoundland Fishermen, who after having viewed the show on their Betamax machines but are unable to understand the 'funny' accents, throw the tapes into Cod fillets which are then sent on a seven month journey, via Canada Post, to the centre of the universe known to outsiders as Toronto.
Vicus - but I get regular e-mails from a bloke in a village in the Ukraine! He understands, and he doesn't speak a word of English!

Flaming Nora - it was through Corrieblog that today I found out that the actor who's playing Paul Connor is leaving. Not exactly the latest news - it was from the middle of February. I really ought to keep in touch with things more.

MJ - According to the comment above, it looks as if I'm pretty much behind with what's going on in Corrie. As for the craving for pickles - are you sure it's not pickled goat scrotal sac?

Arabella - the cross pollination is standard nowadays on British televsion. Someone who's leaving Coronation Street will inevitably turn up a week later on Holby City or Emmerdale, usual playing more or less the same character.
HE - but over here, all the newspapers say that there are literally millions of Coronation Street fans in Canada, and they all have themed Coronation Street pub nights! From what I've heard, Newfoundland fishermen like nothing better than sitting down to discuss when and why Ida Clough stopped wearing a hairband, or what happened to Rita Fairclough's adopted daughter Jenny Bradley.
Betty, do you write for Harry Hill's TV Burp?
Huzzah! I can comment again!

Anyway, Betty, the drumroll prior to my important observation can now cease. The general formula for who might or might not be too young for you is to halve your age and add seven. So, judging by the fact that you don't feel too bad about someone over thirty, maybe we can calculate... I'll shut up now before you come round here and hit me.
Murph - *starts crying, but manages to smile through the tears, for all that*

Russ - hmm, (nearly) twenty two plus seven. Twenty nine. Nothing wrong with that. Not that I would be in with a chance. Actually, I thought that theory just referred to men. I've worked out that if (gawd forbid) the current Mr Betty ran off with a twentysomething girl, only a man of seventy would look twice at me.

*goes off to cry a bit more*
I'm puzzled as to why the writers thought the obvious person to open a kebab shop in Salford/Weatherfield would be from Liverpewel. And not one customer asked for mayonnaise and mild chilli either.
I watched every episode of Corrie for 7 years until Eastenders came along. Shameful. The theme tunes of Crown Court and Take The High Road remind me of being ill or pretending to be therefore missing school. Then I discovered Sons and Daughters and I genuinely used to bunk off school to watch that - the ghastly Patricia was too good to miss.
What a coincidence - I saw the older Gallagheresque brother on Market Street this morning. He looked cold and so did I.
Gail will murder Sinbad and will (of course) bury him under the patio in true soap style.
Oooh - blogging/real-life synchronicity...

I have just been 'home' and my Da has explained to me the differences between rooks, jackdaws, ravens and crows.
I googled straight away of course - that Liam is HOT! But I'm disappointed that old Marshy's in it now. I've never rated her or her erstwhile 12-year old husband Bobby-Jack, who used to be in Eastenders, right? Or am I getting confused? By the way, DID YOU KNOW that there's a French comedian called Franck Dubosc whose claim to fame is that he played a plumber in Corrie in the 80s (apparently, his character was called Patrice Podevin). I have absolutely no memory of this, which is strange because I've watched Corrie since birth and can even name all of Ken Barlow's wives. I never liked Brookie, though.
I organized one of those themed Coronation Street pub nights in Canada.
*sheepishly looks around the room*
Alright gawdammit it's true..
more Canadians watch Chlorination Street than Hockey Frickin' Night In Canada!

(there mj are you satisfied?
Now give me those pictures back!)
Gawd forbid the CBC should cancel Corrie to run a hockey game in its place!

They'll get letters and phone calls up the yin yang.

HE: But you look so cute as the Rovers barmaid.
Rockmother - the only thing I can ever remember being on television if I was off school *ill* was Pebble Mill At One. I'm sure that was broadcast so that schoolkids or people skiving from work would get so depressed that they'd realise that school/work was at least better than THAT.

Kaz - people in Manchester always seem to see Corrie cast members about, don't they? You're probably right about Gail - whenever she sees Sinbad she's got a face like thunder (well, even more so than usual).

Spinsterella - ravens are the top of the range, deluxe members of the crow family, carrion crows the streetwise townies, rooks the country bumpkins and jackdaws are, erm, the smallest of the bunch.

Rhino 75 - I can't remember that plumber either. There are so many actors who are in it for a short time who I've completely forgotten. Actually, he might be one of the unsung heroes featured on Corrieblog. They mentioned Chalkie Whitely recently - now, I remember him.

HE & MJ - I'll just leave you to sort it out amongst yourselves while I have a cigarette break. I don't even smoke either.
Ah yes - Pebble Mill At One - is synonymous with the sick bowl and the sofa x
For me the face of Kilroy immediately inspires vomit, and not just because I remember watching it when I was sick off school.
Patrice was Jenny Bradley's boyfriend.
I can remember that, but not why I wandered into the kitchen earlier.
RoMo - god, the presenters on that show could induce vomiting. What about Bob Langley, that bloke who looked as if he should be modelling cable knit jumpers in The Highlands?

Billy - must be the permatan. I trust you're not a Judith Chalmers fan either?

Arabella - oh, I remember Jennie and her screaming tantrums about being with Patrice - "RITA, WE'RE IN LUV AND WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT WE'RE STAYING TOGETHER AND I'M GOING TO LIVE WITH HIM IN FRANCE AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!" before flouncing off and slamming the door.
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