Monday, March 26, 2007


Yeah, I know, I said I was going to do another Val Doonican post and I haven't. The tears are stinging the backs of your eyes and a lump is in your throat because of the disappointment.

Don't worry, I've drafted up the next in a series of Vals, but I thought I'd keep you in suspense while I make yet another reference to what was on TOTP2 at the weekend.

There they were tootling along showing bloody Genesis feat. Collins followed by the awful Marillion (not pretentious enough to be prog. rock in the Genesis feat. Gabriel style, too lumpy and ponderous to have a tune and therefore be liked by gurlls - what's the flaming point?) when, bloody hell, who should turn up but The Fire Engines! It was an old bit of footage from BBC early eighties *youth* *arts* programme Riverside. This bit of footage in fact!

God, that was a fucking great song, wasn't it? Plus, scrawny blokes doused in baby oil and female backing singers giving themselves a double hernia trying to look cool. Heck, I used to try to get my hair to go like that - an overgrown fringe, a bucket of hair gel and half an hour hanging upside down like a bat and there you have it - all you need to induce withering comments from the aged parent about "looking like a bloody lost sheep".

Then I looked at the date when the programme was originally shown.

That was twenty five years ago, that was.


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*Sniff* Memories... I am so stuck in the eighties I still think those hairstyles look great.

(Oh, and I dreamt about Val Doonican the other night, after reading your previous post. Thanks a bunch!)
back in them-thar days i had a.....


a girl-mullet.

fine. i was young. ok?
Hey Betty, at least you weren't trying to look like the other girl singer.

I had a girl-mullet roundabout that time as well. Lovely.
I can't do mullets, and I was probably not even walking at that time. Still fantastic tune. He doesn't half sing funny though.
When we hd mullets, I don't think we called them mullets. Did we?
Doris - glad to introduce Val Doonican back into the public consciousness. That's what I'm trying to do, by any means necessary.

First Nations - hmm, I remember at one point having the sides virually shaved away. It only happened the once though.

Spinsterella - I love the bit in the YouTube comments where someone has said "the woman with the frizzy hair is my mum". Kind of undermines the coolness.

Billy - most of their previous stuff is fairly shouty, noisy, and influenced by Captain Beefheart and James Chance, so this song's quite glossy sounding in comparison.

Kaz - you're not wrong. As far as I know they weren't called mullet hairdoes until the 1990's, by which time everyone realised how ridiculous they were.
my best hairdo (see how i date myself! see!) was a sort of sweeping thing that started just above my left ear and swept all the way over, like albert steptoe's combover. i think i wanted to look like siobhan fahey off of bananarama. i looked like a fat albert steptoe. my friends used to call me "tidal wave".

so, yeah. thanks for bringing that back.

*beats head with fists, weeps*
Surly - I bet you didn't look like a fat Albert Steptoe. It's difficult to imagine what a fat Albert Steptoe looks like.

At least you're not dreaming of Val Doonican.

I've had so many hair disasters I'm going to compile them in a book, My Bad Hair life. It'll be as long as War And Peace.
can i be a credited contributor? unlike shaggy blog wotsits where i felt not-quite-good-enough?
Marillion not pretentious enough? I must respectfully disagree and I offer, in evidence of that pretentiousness, some lyrics from Script For A Jester's Tear (that title alone would surely qualify them as pretentious). Enjoy...

So here I am once more in the playground of the broken hearts.
One more experience, one more entry in a diary, self-penned.
Yet another emotional suicide overdosed on sentiment and pride.
Too late to say I love you, too late to re-stage the play.
Abandoning the relics in my playground of yesterday.
Surly - yeah, why not? I'd also need someone to photoshop all the pictures because I'm really paranoid about the way I look.

Anyway, why all the "not-quite-good-enough" self depracation? Tut tut.
*self deprecation*.
Jimmy Page's Trahsis - fair point, Marillion could be extremely pretentious in the "boulevard of broken playgrounds" way. The song that was on TOTP2 was one of their attempts to "reach a wider audience" without doing a song that lasted for half an hour. Problem is, it didn't have enough of a tune to be a single.

I bet it got into the top five though. In fact, I'll probably get loads of angry nutters from the Marillion Extreme Fan Forum over here. Why not? I haven't had any abusive comments left here since the weekend, and I really love being told what an arsehole I am.

Er, sorry. I'm orff now.
I love the comment about the hairstyles. In the 80's I had a Flock of Seagulls hairstyle, but I was a metalhead. I never could do anything right!
Now I just look like a freakin' slob, which is befitting a burned out metalhead.
I'm just glad I never wore a mullet!
Does anyone know how the "hernia" dancing evolved? Or the big hair for that matter?
Cheesemeister - isn't that bloke out of A Flock Of Seagulls bald now? Well, I expect he would be - let that be a warning to youngsters who want to experiment with hairstyles.

Arabella - (1) Probably started when someone had an electric shock on stage. (2) Elsa Lanchester? Albert Einstein? Mind you, it might also have something to do with (1).
hair STYLE - now there's a novel concept - nope never done that except of the lost sheep ou naturel variety where I didn't have to spend money on hair jelly or hang from my feet - is that an upside I wonder? or have I missed something else that everyone else has enjoyed . . .
Ziggi - I don't know about style. At least in the early '80's you could look as if you'd been dragged through a hedge backwards and no one would bat an eye. Nowadays it's all hair straighteners and hoping it doesn't rain when you go out to the shops.
Oh my bloody god. Can it really be that long ago? All the teenagers are looking like that now - it sends me into a wistful daze when I find myself staring at rows of 'slouch boots' in shoe shops at the moment. I didn't succumb to the flattened seagull but I did back-comb my hair and tie scarves around it fifties style - and wear indecent amounts of make up - and slouch boots that I wore down to strips of worn out leather. Oh god.
It's a good job that I don't have access to a scanner, otherwise I might have to post a picture on here of me with backcombed hair from a long time ago, then I would be an object of derision (er, even more so than usual). The scarves in the hair ... the bows ... those ponytails that used to build up to a sort of pineapple on top of your head ...

*goes a bit pale*

*doesn't even want to think about slouch boots*
Yes - I remember the pineapple head effect. I then graduated onto wrapping yards of old cut-up t-shirts and bits of material Amazulu-style around my head piling my hair up even further. I used to wear what looked like bangles in my ears a la Sade but cartoon oversize Sade. And I remember having to constantly douse my weeping red ears that were obviously over-reacting to the high nickel content shoved in there. Cheap cheap cheap.
That video was totally bitchin'!
Fabulous song except for the vocals OUCH!
Those boppin' hipster chickies balanced out the greased up off key skinny boys quite nicely..eeww.
and as far I know,
Doogie Whatshisface never made it across the Atlantic.
Believe me, the vocals on this song are a lot more, er, suave than on their previous songs where a lot of SCREEEEECHING was involved.

I'm surprised that Val Doonican never found success over the water. I thought all North Americans loved anything Irish.
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