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Saturday, February 17, 2007

TOM, TOM, TURN AROUND 

Do people who are on MySpace have MySpace meets in the same way that bloggers have blogmeets?

Are they able to recognise each other from the heavily photoshopped pictures in which they look fifteen years younger and more beautiful than they actually are?

Most important of all - does TOM ever actually meet any of his millions of *FRIENDS*?

I mean, at least you would be able to spot him in a pub, because he's bound to look exactly like this:




... but with a drink in front of him.

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Comments:
Bloogers have blogmeets!?!

no-one told me......
 
I meant 'bloggers'

There are bloogers in 'the thinks you can think' by Dr Seuss though....


they float....
 
I'll take your word for it, never having read his stuff as a kid. I'm sure there are a few bloggers who can float given the right chemical assistance.
 
Thank you for using the term 'munterspace'. It is my heart's desire to get it entered into the Oxford English Dictionary by next year.
 
I think that further research will reveal that when the full photograph is exposed (i.e. he is not cruelly truncated at the waist), you will find that his enigmatic smile is caused by his being anally penetrated by one of his many friends, in this case William a stevedore from Barrow-in-Furness.
 
Rockmother - when I did the spellcheck, the only words that came up as being wrongly spelt were MySpace, blogger and blogmeet. Come on Blogger, it's 2007! Language is evolving very slowly.

Vicus - yes, MySpace meets are all a bit of fun. Tom is wearing nothing but thigh length rubber boots below the waist too. He is the Mona Lisa of the modern age.
 
There's also a heavily creased and stained picture of Rupert Murdoch under that table.
 
I would've thought one of Rupert's minions would be down there taking pictures so that Tom can be blackmailed when he and Rupert fall out.
 
My brother is called Tom and he does look a bit like Tom off of MySpace.

All my "friends" on MySpace are either bloggers or I knew them before.
 
I thought bloogers were something, which come out of your nose??

I knew you would post up a picture of me at some point Betty.
 
Are you sure 'Tom' isn't just some deranged psychokiller? I mean - look at the disturbed scrawling of random words on the whiteboard behind him (being rogered in his thigh length plasto boots).
 
The words look like the shipping forecast to me.

Rising slowly, Tom!
 
Billy - are you sure that your brother Tom isn't THE Tom, but he's just keeping quiet about it in case you start asking to borrow money off him because he's loaded?

Molly - I think the American expression is booger, although I'm boogered if I know, har har. In a sense, we're all Tom now, aren't we?

Rockmother - perhaps he's at one of those awful company brainstormings, hence the incomprehensible scrawlings on the whiteboard behind him - while he's being boogered in his thigh boots ...

Geoff - GREENWICH LIGHT VESSEL AUTOMATIC!
 
I'm so 'square' I don't want to see any of the bands playing SxSW in Austin and I don't get Myspace. Or should that be 'old'?
And to think Billy Fury's 'She's So Far Out She's In' used to be my theme tune....
 
NORTH UTSIRE SOUTH UTSIRE
 
Arabella - I avoid MySpace most of the time because there's always some awful emo song being played on most of the pages and I have to turn the volume down to zero, which requires too much effort. Is there a Billy Fury MySpace?

Spinsterella - is that how it's actually spelt then? I thought it was North Itzeera, South Itzeera, but then I'm quite deaf.
 
"Is there a Billy Fury Myspace?"
I'll have to look now.
 
Fisher, Dogger, German Bight.

Sounds disgusting.
 
Arabella, if there isn't a Billy Fury MySpace then there's always an OyeBilly MySpace ... and Bob Swipe seems to be fond of a lot of that fifties stuff (it's alright, I can say anything, he doesn't visit here much anymore, heh heh).
 
Heh heh, very funny Russ - have you got a picture of him drinking a cocktail?
 
Norwich Lightvessel Automatic is a good name for a group -perhaps they could record a drum 'n bass (*gives age away*) version of "Sailing By".

Love the new blogger strapline, Betty!
 
I don't know if there's a band called Greenwich Light Vessel Automatic. For all I know, they could be at the helm of the New Greenwich Sound, along with the Greenwich Meantime Pips (they used to tour with Gladys Knight).

Ah, the other thing ... er, thank you. PMT, eh?
 
..although James Blunt actually USED the rejected lyrics...
 
Does James Blunt have a blog yet? They're all doing it y'know - besides which, his dad did a post here last year ...

http://bettysutility.blogspot.com/2006/03/blunt-edged-sword.html

*shamelessly whores blog archive like there's no tomorrow, it's quite embarrassing really*
 
Betty, I had no idea how it was spelt either so I looked it up on the interweb .

Which had the happy result of giving me a good 10 minutes of entertainment reading the Shipping Forecast aloud. To myself.

I might have another go now. It's different today.

(I wonder if perhaps I should leave the house occasionally...)
 
Tyne, Forth, Cromaty.

I love the shipping forecast. I'd have it as the ringtone on my phone if I knew how to do that.
 
Spinsterella - ooh, excellent! (note: this is one of those blogs where somebody says something and all their mates turn up to nod and clap in agreement. Which is what I'm doing now). Er ... anyway, what you need is to play Sailing By before you start reading it, and the National Anthem at the end.

Billy - South East Iceland is my favourite. So bleak, austere and from the far, far north. I think the shipping forecast should only be read out by some bloke with a sexy Welsh accent. Phwoar.
 
I wouldn't meet up with any of these munters, I hear that they're a right dodgy lot.
 
Istavanski - I'm sticking with the bloggers, some of those MySpacers are a bit ... unhinged ... who's that bloke with the YouTube where he's sat in the bath? Bloody hell.
 
I know what you mean Betty...it wouldn't have been that bad had he'd actually got a bath to fit him.

We say: Put it away Bob. It's not clever and it certainly doesn't look very big.
 
Tom looks like he wouldn't be averse to a bit of Dogger Bank to me. Something about the cheesy grin.

Myspace my arse. All right thinking folks are bloggers and hate Coldplay.
 
Istvanski - is it a cry for help? For all we know, he might still be there, stuck in the bath ...

Garfer - I wouldn't trust Tom as far as I could throw him. I bet he thinks Coldplay are great for "in car listening" as well. Heh.
 
"...from the heavily photoshopped pictures in which they look fifteen years younger and more beautiful than they actually are?"

a) I don't own photo shop.

b) the photo was take in 1993 - so it's only *fourteen* years old.

c) I am a lot better looking now....

(...well, once I've put me slap on, obviously...)

I think anyone who's actually met me would tell you that you lot probably get the best of me on here.....which gives you some idea of what a thoroughly unpleasant cunt I must be in real life, right....?

L.U.V. on ya,

Bob
 
Bob, I wasn't even remotely thinking of you. Putting up videos of yourself in the bath doesn't count as typical MySpace behaviour.

We're all probably thoroughly unpleasant cunts in real life. Then again, I'm a thoroughly unpleasant cunt online, so what do I know?
 
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