Tuesday, February 20, 2007


Anyone who has an RSS feed will probably have been thinking recently "oh no, SOMEBODY ELSE has done the Seven Things I Wanted To Be When I Was Young And The Seven Things That I Actually Became meme".

Never let it be said that I'm not the last person on the bandwagon. I've allowed time for the dust to settle. So long in fact that this may constitute a Seven Things I Wanted To Be When I Was Young And The Seven Things That I Actually Became revival.


1. A teacher (aged 6). Hmm. Never likely to happen, was it?

2. A writer of adventure stories (aged 9). I spent the whole of the summer of 1972 scribbling them in an exercise book. The hero was tall, raven haired, and had the physique of a swimmer. At one point in the story he stripped down to his undies and jumped into a raging sea from a lighthouse to rescue some kid. Oh dear. Oh DEAR or dear.The exercise book was burnt in one of our bonfires, along with several volumes of teenage diaries, fortunately.

3. A photographer (aged 12). Not owning anything but a Kodak Instamatic wasn't going to help me get to where I wanted to go to with this.

4. A member of Abba (aged 14). I mean, living on an island, writing songs all day, becoming phenomenally wealthy but hardly ever touring. What's not to like?

5. An artist (aged 15). Spurred on by an art teacher who told me I had "a special talent". Told parents that I was going to art school. Told that I could forget that idea for a start by my parents, and I was going to carry on studying RSA Shorthand and Typing instead. Parents proved correct, as ever.

6. A librarian (aged 16). Reality and maturity were starting to kick in here, weren't they?

7. A hibernating grizzly bear. Still would do, actually. Unless you have nightmares about salmon that you've eaten ganging up on you to get revenge in the afterlife.


1. Brunette.

2. Blonde.

3. Redhead.

4. You really

5. Don't want to read

6. My boring boring boring career trajectory.

7. Really - YOU DON'T.

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If you are still a redhead you may be interested to know that there is a petition on the Downing St. website appealing for 'Gingerism' to face the same penalties in law as sexism, racism et al. I think only about 6 people have signed it so far.

I wanted to be a doctor when I was young. This ambition lasted until I became one when I realised that the major quality required was the ability to ignore foul personal odours of varying sorts.
I bet lots of people would sign up for the Ginger Petition, then they suddenly remember Chris Evans and wander off.

You are a chameleon Betty!
Oooh, more of your adventure stories, please.

I'm liking that raven-haired physique-of-a-swimmer a LOT.
I haven't done these meme thingy yet. But I will, eventually.
Art school would have been good. But don't knock the typing!
I rarely get asked to solve a quadratic equation, but I need to type every day.
It takes me at least 3 goes to get the word verification right.
Realdoc - I haven't been a redhead (well, more auburn really) for over ten years now, but I was only ever, hem hem, *racially* abused once, by some bloke who was chatting me up calling me ginge at a party! I read an interview where Mick Hucknall alluded to the idea that having a go at redheads was abusive - I wonder if he started the petition? As for the thing about having to ignore foul body odours as a doctor - funnily enough, I found that a problem in jobs that I've worked in, and those were all office based!

Murph - Chris Evans ... Mick Hucknall ... ROBERT ELMS! Nuff said. I've returned to brunette now that I'm old and sensible - except the roots are grey now.

Spinsterella - he was definitely a bit of alright, that bloke. At one point he was rushed into hospital on a stretcher with a mystery debilitating illness, but I can't remember any of the other terrible storylines, thank god.

Kaz - I'm not knocking the typing. It's been my lifeline over the years, although I'm not one of those 80 wpm typists. A good job that manual typewriters went out of fashion for my sake.
You make me LOL, Betty. It's not much to put on the CV I know but it's probably better than going to art college. One of the few ambitions I've ever achieved and the one I've been most disappointed by.
Billy - well, everyone will eventually, so ... YOU'RE TAGGED.

Richard - if making people LOL was a guarantee of career success, Eric Morecambe would've been the Rupert Murdoch of the 1970's.
I might put a banner on my blog - meme free zone. I always feel extremely anxious doing memes tags whatever they are - basically telling everyone all about yourself even more than you already do. x
Adventure stories?

As a child in Canuckistan, I formed my opinion on British children by reading Enid Blyton books.

I thought all Brits were like her characters until I discovered Geoff and Betty.
Rockmother - I only bother doing the ones where I don't really give much about the "real" me away. Not that there's anything particularly interesting to reveal about my life anyway, but there are a lot of creepy people who seem to get a thrill from reading "confessional" stuff - shudder. I never get tagged anyway!

MJ - God help us if we're representative of British people. It must've been a comedown after reading Enid Blyton to read our blogs. Mind you, we do enjoy picnics w. potted meat sandwiches and lashings of ginger beer in the beach in the summertime. Spiffing!
Eric Morcombe the Rupert Murdoch of the 70s...thank you for that tantalizing glimpse of a better world.
Eric Morcombe the Rupert Murdoch of the 70s...thank you for that tantalizing glimpse of a better world.
Twice for emphasis, you know.
figured you could punk out on the latter seven, did you dear? oh no, no no.
*says the coward who did the same meme in a comments lounge, ulp*
well, i want to know, anyway. bound to be more interesting than my seven 'beens'.
I did the adventure story thing (exercise books) in 1976/7. I destoryed them in 1978/9. Then I typed a load of stories about me and my mates and it was all about being mathematics superheroes (I kid you not). This went on till about 1983 and we read them like plays at lunchtimes.

A year after leaving school I had a big bonfire and burnt them, just as I'd predicted in Chapter Something-or-Other of the 7th or 8th maths superhero story.

We all do it. Even when we're crap at maths in my case.
Arabella - perhaps he's the Rupert Murdoch of the afterlife, you never know.

First Nations - believe me, your eyes would mist over with boredom if I told you some of the jobs I've had. They're not even the sort of really horrible jobs that you can laugh about afterwards because of the disgusting things that happened. Just really ... boring.

Llewtrah - maths superheroes! I could've done with one of those to help me get through my maths homework (most Sunday afternoons from the ages of 11-16, usually ending with me crying, especially if trigonometry was involved).
Seven things I have been..
FULL of lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride...
but I'm OK now neener neener neener!
Ok maybe I have to work on the pride.
HE - I still haven't got over most of those ... well, apart from lust, which is on the wane due to advanced years, thank god, and pride (it's the opposite, self loathing, which keeps me going. Or it is on a good day, anyway).
I wanted to be a serial killer but I lacked application.

I thought about becoming a dentist but they all commit suicide.

I settled on hedonism and ne're do wellness. A wise choice.
Garfer - being a hedonist and a ne're do well-er is probably a better career move than being a serial killer, but as you get older it takes longer to recover from the effects of the hedonism and ne're do welling. As for being a dentist ... having to deal with all that halitosis ... eurh.
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