Saturday, January 13, 2007
Starting off with the all day breakfast (eggs, sossidges, beans, fried bread, three rashers of bacon, fried tomatoes, black pudding, two slices of limp bread and butter and a grubby mug of milky sugary tea) at a top secret motorway service station "to line the stomach" it appears to have turned into a sordid pubcrawl in the West London area and involves psychobilly Oyez! !Billy! ...
Yeah, I know what you're thinking.
It doesn't bear thinking about any further.
... anyway, moving swiftly on, I spent last night drifting off to sleep drunkenly watching Celebrity Big Brother. Dirk Wotsit off of The A-Team was reminiscing tediously about the birth of one of his children to Jermaine Jackson, who was barely managing to stay awake.
This morning, I switched the telly on again (to check the weather out on BBCi text) and the first thing I saw was Dirk Wotsit, STILL reminiscing tediously about something or other with Jermaine Jackson!
Jermaine Jackson is supposed to be a very quiet person. If you're quiet, you're used to being told that you're "a good listener". This means "I am a boring cunt and most people interrupt me, but you always listen politely to me".
In other telly news, I do hope that there is a YouTube clip of Charlie Stubbs singing the Oasis song up pretty soon. One of the funnier things I've encountered in recent times. Even funnier than Tracy Barlow attempting to lapdance to Oasis, the least likely band on the planet that you would lapdance to.
In the meantime, and, because no one is reading, heh heh, you will have to make do with Noosha Fox, laydeez and gentleman.
Still got a slight headache.
Bob Swipe made me take along a 'sorry I can't be there' message which was interesting and awfully big-headed of him I must say!
Anyway - got to go and lie down again.
I'll be back later.
Rockmother - I think humans have some sort of internal compass like carrier pigeons, which helps us get home when we're really drunk. Otherwise we'd all end up at a railway sidings in Aberdeen at three in the morning everytime we went on the lash.
Get plenty of vitamin C, have a walk in the park. It's a lovely crisp, sunny day!
Yeah, I know ...
Gorilla Bananas - fresh fruit desserts are the sort of thing I should be thinking about if I want to get into shape. Better than a detox any time. Mind you, I'm not sure about the furry rumps. The thought of Robin Williams wearing a thong springs to mind. I'm sure that you wouldn't want to be faced with that in The Congo.
I resolved to have a Resolve, have hoovered the house from top to bottom (nearly puked), and am going to do the windows and sweep the garden next.
I don't understand - didn't even drink that much although I didn't get much sleep as next-door-but-one had an all night 'I've just moved in' party. I was awake half the night waiting for them to turn the bloody music down. Lack of sleep - getting old.
Then I discovered it wasn't "Dog-meat" at all, so made my excuses and left.
And thanks for introducing me to Noosha. What a distinctively nasal singing style she has. On Wikipedia it says her look was modelled on Marlene Dietrich, but comes across more Worzel Gummidge.
It's drinking during the day that makes you feel really rough - don't know why. That's the reason Christmas takes so long to recover from.
Sky - yeah, and the fact that she said that she'd planned to "walk out" on Charlie that night, while dressed in a boob tube, pvc mini skirt, fishnets and boots from a sex shop.
Murph - ooh, me too dahling, mwah, mwah. Mind you, a "dogmeet" might be a more appropriate place for me to turn up than a blogmeet, lol.
MJ - good idea! Here are a few of my suggestions:
Anything by Napalm Death
The Wedding by Spike Jones
Come To Daddy - The Aphex Twin
European Son - The Velvet Underground
The Birdie Song - The Tweets
With My Little Stick Of Blackpool Rock - George Formby
Annie - not a good idea for me to join anyone's harem. I am five hundred years old and, frankly, everything flops about in a southerly direction unless I'm wearing heavily scaffolded undies these days. It's quite frightening.
I should imagine Noosha Fox was one of those women who had at least thirty cats in her house. Mind you, I quite like the Fox singles and it was a nice, silly antedote to the West Coast rock that I'm forcing myself to listen to.
Strangely lovable though.
Not that I watch televison of course.
Oh, and there's a new song (and look) over at munterspace, if you wanted to check it out..
Did you hear the dedication you got on wadcast2? How much does a headphone splitter cost, FFS??
p.s. I'm *SO* cheesed off I missed Spinny at the blogmeet. I'd been at the gym too, working at the six pack all week (I know, I know, I'm never going to get rid of this beer gut drinking six cans of beer, even if I *do* drink them at the gym, but, hey! - it's the thought that counts....)
Almost as much so as his kiddie-fiddling (yeah, I know he was found innocent, but we all know the truth) white brother.
Roberta - I don't think Spins was as the blogmeet (well, it is a bit of a treck down from Bristol just to go to a motorway service station, don't you think?).
I just assume that blogmeets are full of people who look like the cast of Hollyoaks, but have doctorates, so it's all a bit too intimidating for me.
Um, I haven't heard the podcast yet ... weekends are a time for quiet reflection away from the internet doing stuff like going to Homebase and fixing the tiles on the roof. I WILL listen tomorrow, promise. Thanks for the dedication um, anyway.
P & T - if I was a more dedicated viewer of Big Brother I might be able to form an opinion on him. Mind you, if one of the Jackson clan was anything less than a thousand per cent nutter I'd be very surprised and disappointed.
Kaz - I thought it was a reference to Germaine Greer and was confused at first!
Llewtrah - it's drinking in the afternoon that does it. Lethal. Mind you, I can talk. I fell asleep for about an hour on Saturday night after drinking, woke up and felt as though I was dying.
I won't fucking bother next time then!!
Big 'eaded Bob.
I especially watched the Corrie omnibus last night on your recommendation and yes, Tracy Barlow trying to lapdance to Oasis is probably the funniest thing I hae ever seen. Thank you.
Bob and 'Berta appear to be morphing into one another like in THe Fly. I'm scared.
What the..Noosha? She reminded me of Madeline Kahn in Blazing Saddles.
"Gawdammit I'm exhausted...ahahahahah"
Hmm, Roberta is supposed to be 25, but on the most recent podcast she said a song reminded her of "growing up in the early '80s". As they say across the Atlantic, you do the math.
HE - is Tito an even more wacko Jacko? Or slightly less wacko? Who were the other ones ... isn't there an older sister who isn't actually involved in music?
Following Noosha, I might do a Great Overlooked Hits Of The '70s feature ... Movie Star by Harpo, or Loving You Has Made Me Bananas by Guy Marks. Mind you, they're probably not on YouTube, so you've all had a lucky break.