Wednesday, January 31, 2007
BOLLOCKS (OOOH, EXCUSE MY FRENCH)
Dear old Richard and Judy were having a discussion about Celebrity Big Brother yesterday. They weren't assessing the race, class, cultural and bullying issues which have been pored over endlessly by the media in the past couple of weeks.
No, they were getting to the crux of the REAL problem in society today.
The fact that young women behave appallingly.
With a panel made up of three of the great minds of the modern age - Amanda Platell, Raj Persaud and some bint who has written a book about Etiquette For Young Laydeees, it was decreed that society has gone to the dogs because young British women burp, fart and swear in front of people and drink too much.
We were shown a clip of Dirk Benedict in the Big Brother diary room bemoaning the fact that British girls are horrible compared to the demure, blushing young maidens back in the good ole US.
Of course Dirk has got a right to climb up on to the moral high ground. After all, this is a man who was hitting on a beautiful woman thirty years his junior during the time he was in the house. Yech.
Lovely, sweet, feminine Amanda (absolutely NOT a first class bitch, but a considerate and gentle soul) thinks that young women are so rude and full of themselves in a way they NEVER were in her day. Boo hoo.
Raj Persaud believes that young women's behaviour has deteriorated because they put off having children for longer and don't feel responsibility for their actions. According to him, a few years back, young women were "waiting at home for men to find them" so they acted in a way to appeal to men.
WHAAAAAAAAAAT?
ARE WE GOING BACK TO THE ERA OF JANE AUSTEN? BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER THIS BYGONE AGE, AND I'M ANCIENT.
If teenagers and twentysomethings are more aggressive and drink more, perhaps it reflects on the pressure facing them in their jobs, universities and schools.
If young women are more assertive, good for them. Half of the population had to put up with shit from men for thousands of years: now it's their turn to have their say.
If they want to put off having babies - or not start families - all well and good. What's wrong with enjoying yourself when you're young? There's a time for drudgery later, let it wait.
If I look back to my teenagehood, around twenty five years ago (I know that'll seem like a bloody long time to some of you, but it doesn't to me!) I can remember most of the girls of my age basically looking forward to killing time in a factory or working as a shorthand typist until their mid twenties. They would then marry, breed and work as unpaid chief cook and bottlewasher in a loveless marriage forever.
If I look back to my grandmother's life, all she had to look forward to was giving birth every year, doing loads of soul destroying housework and getting beaten up by her drunken husband on a Saturday night.
Surely we wouldn't want anyone to face that predicament.
Still, the public who voted in Richard and Judy's poll believe that young women behave badly: eighty seven per cent of them actually.
So the message seems to be - girls, get back to sitting indoors, embroidering, and blushing prettily if a man deigns to speak to you.
Otherwise, as my grandmother warned me when I was eighteen, you'll never find a man to cook for.
No, they were getting to the crux of the REAL problem in society today.
The fact that young women behave appallingly.
With a panel made up of three of the great minds of the modern age - Amanda Platell, Raj Persaud and some bint who has written a book about Etiquette For Young Laydeees, it was decreed that society has gone to the dogs because young British women burp, fart and swear in front of people and drink too much.
We were shown a clip of Dirk Benedict in the Big Brother diary room bemoaning the fact that British girls are horrible compared to the demure, blushing young maidens back in the good ole US.
Of course Dirk has got a right to climb up on to the moral high ground. After all, this is a man who was hitting on a beautiful woman thirty years his junior during the time he was in the house. Yech.
Lovely, sweet, feminine Amanda (absolutely NOT a first class bitch, but a considerate and gentle soul) thinks that young women are so rude and full of themselves in a way they NEVER were in her day. Boo hoo.
Raj Persaud believes that young women's behaviour has deteriorated because they put off having children for longer and don't feel responsibility for their actions. According to him, a few years back, young women were "waiting at home for men to find them" so they acted in a way to appeal to men.
WHAAAAAAAAAAT?
ARE WE GOING BACK TO THE ERA OF JANE AUSTEN? BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER THIS BYGONE AGE, AND I'M ANCIENT.
If teenagers and twentysomethings are more aggressive and drink more, perhaps it reflects on the pressure facing them in their jobs, universities and schools.
If young women are more assertive, good for them. Half of the population had to put up with shit from men for thousands of years: now it's their turn to have their say.
If they want to put off having babies - or not start families - all well and good. What's wrong with enjoying yourself when you're young? There's a time for drudgery later, let it wait.
If I look back to my teenagehood, around twenty five years ago (I know that'll seem like a bloody long time to some of you, but it doesn't to me!) I can remember most of the girls of my age basically looking forward to killing time in a factory or working as a shorthand typist until their mid twenties. They would then marry, breed and work as unpaid chief cook and bottlewasher in a loveless marriage forever.
If I look back to my grandmother's life, all she had to look forward to was giving birth every year, doing loads of soul destroying housework and getting beaten up by her drunken husband on a Saturday night.
Surely we wouldn't want anyone to face that predicament.
Still, the public who voted in Richard and Judy's poll believe that young women behave badly: eighty seven per cent of them actually.
So the message seems to be - girls, get back to sitting indoors, embroidering, and blushing prettily if a man deigns to speak to you.
Otherwise, as my grandmother warned me when I was eighteen, you'll never find a man to cook for.
Comments:
Young men behave appallingly too, but female chauvinist pig Amanda can't get her kicks slagging off men, can she? Is society really going to the dogs because people fart and burp? Really? I find the fact that newspapers and TV programmes which are actually aimed at women like to demonise them so much to be a lot more concerning than someone doing a wet fart on national television.
The only thing I know about Richard Madeley is that he has a conviction for shoplifting, and the only thing I know about Judy Finnigan is that she gets her tits out on national television. Not sure where this puts either of them in terms of the moral high ground.
I went to university twenty years ago, and I spent most of my time there drinking to excess, falling over in the street and sleeping with inappropriate people. Now look at me - a teetotal, law-abiding, taxpaying, tiny captain of industry. Although, on the other hand, I am (nearly) divorced and shamefully childless. Does that make me good or bad, on the Richard 'n' Judy moral compass?
I went to university twenty years ago, and I spent most of my time there drinking to excess, falling over in the street and sleeping with inappropriate people. Now look at me - a teetotal, law-abiding, taxpaying, tiny captain of industry. Although, on the other hand, I am (nearly) divorced and shamefully childless. Does that make me good or bad, on the Richard 'n' Judy moral compass?
Where does this Raj Persaud live? I'll send the gang round to sort him out.
I don't happen to be a fan of spitting, belching and farting (male or female variety).
But all the girls round here do it as they push their prams to the pub which ruins his theory.
I bet the even Camilla and Zara do it on horseback.
I don't happen to be a fan of spitting, belching and farting (male or female variety).
But all the girls round here do it as they push their prams to the pub which ruins his theory.
I bet the even Camilla and Zara do it on horseback.
Oh, Betty. That opening sentence scared the crap out of me!
Apart from that:
Young women binge-drink and swear and fart and do all the things young men do (including pee standing up whilst vomiting … I've seen 'em while driving home from gigs) because they can't face the appalling prospect of squirting out babies for some fat, abusive bloke who'll fuck off after a couple of years and leave the poor girl with the mess.
It makes me almost glad to be old (I went off to uni 30 years ago, Patroclus, you young filly).
Apart from that:
Young women binge-drink and swear and fart and do all the things young men do (including pee standing up whilst vomiting … I've seen 'em while driving home from gigs) because they can't face the appalling prospect of squirting out babies for some fat, abusive bloke who'll fuck off after a couple of years and leave the poor girl with the mess.
It makes me almost glad to be old (I went off to uni 30 years ago, Patroclus, you young filly).
I'm just glad that Dirk Benedict could be convinced that I don't ever burp, fart, pick my nose, scratch my ass or crotch, or do anything else unseemly. That's one person in this world that believes I'm a perfect angel anyway! And all because of where the fates chose for me to be born in this world. We American women are such perfect demure little things. Just look at Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohan for an example!
Of course Jane Austen herself didn't get married. She probably belches as well.
I'm all for equal rights in swearing and drinking.
I'm all for equal rights in swearing and drinking.
Modern young women are just doing what young men have had the freedom to for ages (and the behaviour of young males is also deteriorating). Plus we aren't as good (physiologically) at handling alcohol.
And when you look at some of the role models we have ... no wonder we're behaving so badly!
And when you look at some of the role models we have ... no wonder we're behaving so badly!
Lost Boy - on the money. Why does soemone who's earned a certain amount of money and established themselves in a career like Amanda feel obliged to put down other women? As for all those newspapers and tv programmes - not renowned for setting good examples, are they?
Patroclus - to be fair, Richard and Judy tend to be quite enlightened considering they have a "cosy" teatime audience, so I was a bit disappointed when they went all Daily Mail.
As for me, I have gone down to opposite route to you. At eighteen I took lessons in etiquette, learnt shorthand and typing, embroidery and how to set tables properly. Now look at me - a single mother of five, a chainsmoking crack addict living in a mobile home. Only yesterday I got into a bare knuckle fight with another woman daaahhn the Social Security and lost three front teeth. Where did it all go wrong?
I think you'd get about seven out of ten from Richard and Judy, and I'd get minus fifty.
Kaz - I must admit, I don't burp, spit or belch in front of (er, most) people, am generally polite and don't like bad manners, but I think most of the complaints on that show seemed to be inferring that women aren't "ladylike" enough anymore, and behave inappropriately. This seems to mean doing stuff like drinking or not necessarily being a virgin before they're married. Talk about Victorian values! Oh, by the way, Amanda admitted that she often sees a lot of er, "very well bought up young women from wealthy backgrounds" who behave like common little oiks as well. How fair and balanced of her ...
Dive - the opening sentence? Well, middle age, it happens to us all ... I suppose young men have been behaving obnoxiously for years, but it's considered to be "just a stage they're going through". If young women do it, then it's disgraceful, the downfall of society, etc. You're right though, a lot of those girls do have issues with being treated apallingly by blokes and there are wider problems in society which kickstart all this stuff.
Patroclus - to be fair, Richard and Judy tend to be quite enlightened considering they have a "cosy" teatime audience, so I was a bit disappointed when they went all Daily Mail.
As for me, I have gone down to opposite route to you. At eighteen I took lessons in etiquette, learnt shorthand and typing, embroidery and how to set tables properly. Now look at me - a single mother of five, a chainsmoking crack addict living in a mobile home. Only yesterday I got into a bare knuckle fight with another woman daaahhn the Social Security and lost three front teeth. Where did it all go wrong?
I think you'd get about seven out of ten from Richard and Judy, and I'd get minus fifty.
Kaz - I must admit, I don't burp, spit or belch in front of (er, most) people, am generally polite and don't like bad manners, but I think most of the complaints on that show seemed to be inferring that women aren't "ladylike" enough anymore, and behave inappropriately. This seems to mean doing stuff like drinking or not necessarily being a virgin before they're married. Talk about Victorian values! Oh, by the way, Amanda admitted that she often sees a lot of er, "very well bought up young women from wealthy backgrounds" who behave like common little oiks as well. How fair and balanced of her ...
Dive - the opening sentence? Well, middle age, it happens to us all ... I suppose young men have been behaving obnoxiously for years, but it's considered to be "just a stage they're going through". If young women do it, then it's disgraceful, the downfall of society, etc. You're right though, a lot of those girls do have issues with being treated apallingly by blokes and there are wider problems in society which kickstart all this stuff.
Cheesemeister - well, I've always imagined America is full of ball busting feminists, which is a good thing as far as I'm concerned. Perhaps poor old Dirk grew up in some remote Amish community. Surely Britain isn't the only place where women drink, behave badly and all the rest?
Billy - it is a truth universally acknowledged, that Jane Austen used to drink twenty Bacardi Breezers in Yates's Wine Lodge every night of the week, had seven kids with different fathers and did time in Holloway for GBH.
Llewtrah - that's the thing, young men don't seem to be criticised so much for their behaviour, as it's generally considered to be a stage they're going through. As for female role models - I suppose the main one in the era I was young in was Margaret Thatcher, and Thatcherism did a lot to contribute to the kind of society we're living in today. Say no more ...
Billy - it is a truth universally acknowledged, that Jane Austen used to drink twenty Bacardi Breezers in Yates's Wine Lodge every night of the week, had seven kids with different fathers and did time in Holloway for GBH.
Llewtrah - that's the thing, young men don't seem to be criticised so much for their behaviour, as it's generally considered to be a stage they're going through. As for female role models - I suppose the main one in the era I was young in was Margaret Thatcher, and Thatcherism did a lot to contribute to the kind of society we're living in today. Say no more ...
So bullying was only invented in the 1990's then was it?
And it's only confined to females?
What as Lord of the Flies all about then?
And it's only confined to females?
What as Lord of the Flies all about then?
"...children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company... tyrannize their teachers... Not a Daily Mail editorial, but Socrates, circa 399 BC. Just shows you, old folk have always loved to bitch about young folk. People have very short memories.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of a large bacardi breezer must be in want of a husband".
Bring back the good old days I say...Rickets, Polio, Getting through to someone on BT Customer Service,blogger alpha,
Bring back the good old days I say...Rickets, Polio, Getting through to someone on BT Customer Service,blogger alpha,
Like patroclus I spent my Uni years drunk, being sick and sleeping with inappropriate people (24 years ago.) Now I am not only an upstanding member of society but also advise other people not to drink to excess and sleep with inappropriate people. I guess that only proves that getting old turns you into a hypocrite.
Well - Richard and Judy are the Daily Mail of the airwaves and they only seem to interview guests that have self-redeeming double-page spreads about themselves - in the Daily Mail. I went to university err...in...shitting hell (burp - ooh sorry) 22 years ago and drank an astonishing amount and ran amok, got into a few minor scrapes but I turned out alright. We are living in a highly over-reactive, reality-tv driven, judgmental society. I love Annie's Socrates quote - it just goes to prove that nothing has changed over time - it's just reported more and in a different, over-dramatic way these days. I think that's all I had to say? Oh no it's not - that bloody Judy can talk. I was invited to a Woman of the Year Awards do two years ago and she was there - pissed as a fart. She got up to go to the loo and did the drunken stumbling tablecloth trick - took half of it with her and knocked an entire bottle of red wine over assorted guests on her table. Disgraceful. I seem to remember Cilla Black had to escort her (hold her up) to the loo's. Richard looked momentarily rattled and then rolled his eyes in his usual jovial way. Bloody funny. A big case of pot calling kettle black I fear.
"British women burp, fart and swear in front of people and drink too much".
Good to hear that British women have finally got equality with the men.
Good to hear that British women have finally got equality with the men.
I blame that scene in the Full Monty where the woman takes a wazz standing up in the gents. Society was doing just fine up til then. And it objectified men! Sickening.
I think the difference is that in the golden olden days, we thought of TV as something to look up to. Now we use it to sneer at people. The problem isn't so much that this behaviour (courtesy of both sexes) exists, as it always has, but that it's now something we'll actually consider important enough for us to tune it and watch, from Ibiza Uncovered to Big Brother.
I think the difference is that in the golden olden days, we thought of TV as something to look up to. Now we use it to sneer at people. The problem isn't so much that this behaviour (courtesy of both sexes) exists, as it always has, but that it's now something we'll actually consider important enough for us to tune it and watch, from Ibiza Uncovered to Big Brother.
Now that adolescence has been extended into the early thirties there were bound to be some repercussions...and attaining equality with the Y-Chromers is not a pretty sight.
I think that a greater percentage of young people emulate poor behavior thanks in part to the YouTubian Ego parade that plays 24/7...now stupidity can easily be reproduced on a global scale.
I predict that the offspring of this generation will probably revert to the 50s style conformity and reserved behavior just to be different from their parents who may never grow up...geez I sound like an old bastard.
Enough generalisation..
people are either charming or tedious.
I think that a greater percentage of young people emulate poor behavior thanks in part to the YouTubian Ego parade that plays 24/7...now stupidity can easily be reproduced on a global scale.
I predict that the offspring of this generation will probably revert to the 50s style conformity and reserved behavior just to be different from their parents who may never grow up...geez I sound like an old bastard.
Enough generalisation..
people are either charming or tedious.
The worst kind of bad behaviour for young ladies is watching Richard and Judy discussing Big Brother.
If Betty doesn't reply to any of these comments for a while it's because our bloody Orange home internet connection has gone down again and we don't know for how long.
Orange are giving us the right pip.
Orange are giving us the right pip.
Lardy BB - I think I could do with some sort of beverage after the problems with the computer over the last day. Gin makes me sin though.
Kellycat - I can remember bullies existing since at least, ooh, the 1970's, when I was at school. The younger generation are sooo much worse though. Apparently.
Annie - too true. Socrates is meant to be the first great philosopher too! It seems to be a time honoured thing to immediately forget what it was ever like to be a teenager once you reach your thirtieth birthday as well.
Murph - my dad always used to say, usually about once every day of his life "the good old days? Good old bloody misery!" and then used to go on about not wearing any shoes as a child. Then again, he was from Yugoslavia.
Realdoc - nobody actually believes doctors who advise them not to drink because they've encountered so many that are fond of the bottle. My last GP in the Midlands was found half naked in the early hours of the morning in a "confused" state, but was back behind his desk in a few weeks.
Rockmother - you always seem to lift the lid on the real life stories about the stars, such as Jason ****** of ************* and his unique use for biros. There have been rumours about Judy for years, but now I know why they participate so enthusiastically in their Wine Club. Still, I suppose if I was married to Richard Madeley, I'd be an old soak too.
Isvanski - yeah, and watch out for my forthcoming Podcast - Belching For Britain.
Kellycat - I can remember bullies existing since at least, ooh, the 1970's, when I was at school. The younger generation are sooo much worse though. Apparently.
Annie - too true. Socrates is meant to be the first great philosopher too! It seems to be a time honoured thing to immediately forget what it was ever like to be a teenager once you reach your thirtieth birthday as well.
Murph - my dad always used to say, usually about once every day of his life "the good old days? Good old bloody misery!" and then used to go on about not wearing any shoes as a child. Then again, he was from Yugoslavia.
Realdoc - nobody actually believes doctors who advise them not to drink because they've encountered so many that are fond of the bottle. My last GP in the Midlands was found half naked in the early hours of the morning in a "confused" state, but was back behind his desk in a few weeks.
Rockmother - you always seem to lift the lid on the real life stories about the stars, such as Jason ****** of ************* and his unique use for biros. There have been rumours about Judy for years, but now I know why they participate so enthusiastically in their Wine Club. Still, I suppose if I was married to Richard Madeley, I'd be an old soak too.
Isvanski - yeah, and watch out for my forthcoming Podcast - Belching For Britain.
Del - there seems to be a culture of wanting celebrities to fail, to end up pissed, drugged up and having to go to rehab endlessly. In the end the biggest "celebrities" seem to be people who make a mess of their lives. What does Lindsay Lohan do exactly, apart from ending up getting drunk? Will Britney Spears ever make another record, and does anyone want her to? No wonder Jade Goody has become a millionaire, on the back of being someone people can "look down on".
HE - it seems to be the case that the children of rebellious parents rebel in turn by being quite straight and conforming ... mind you, it depends what is defined as "rebellion". Getting drunk until you fall over isn't being a rebel really, is it? Er ... my head is aching from having to think too much ...
Vicus - I wouldn't think that many young ladies would be watching Richard and Judy. Possibly a few confused and hungover students who've just got up, at five in the afternoon.
Geoff - I'm back! For at least the next ten minutes! Somebody stop me!
HE - it seems to be the case that the children of rebellious parents rebel in turn by being quite straight and conforming ... mind you, it depends what is defined as "rebellion". Getting drunk until you fall over isn't being a rebel really, is it? Er ... my head is aching from having to think too much ...
Vicus - I wouldn't think that many young ladies would be watching Richard and Judy. Possibly a few confused and hungover students who've just got up, at five in the afternoon.
Geoff - I'm back! For at least the next ten minutes! Somebody stop me!
Well, what can I add to this far-reaching discussion on the state of modern society. If it isn't related to Mrs Thatcher - I'm damn sure she didn't help the situation.
If only someone would get this place organised and give everybody the respect they deserve as human beings, then maybe they would stop behaving like animals. That is what this is all about - no more, no less. Of course it has always been so, but it can be better or worse - when Thatcher turned round and said to most of us, basically your scum so sod you, she sowed the seeds and now we reap the crop. What a naive cow that woman was.
If only someone would get this place organised and give everybody the respect they deserve as human beings, then maybe they would stop behaving like animals. That is what this is all about - no more, no less. Of course it has always been so, but it can be better or worse - when Thatcher turned round and said to most of us, basically your scum so sod you, she sowed the seeds and now we reap the crop. What a naive cow that woman was.
Tom - there was a lot of hypocrisy at work with Thatcherism. On the one hand, the promotion of the idea of family values, "high" moral standards, respect for your elders, betters, and anyone who was higher up the social ladder than you. On the other hand, the promotion of the idea that anyone can attain wealth if they're willing to be ruthless, stamp on anyone in their way and act as boorishly as possible on their way to collecting all the loot. The whole "loadsamoney" culture - if that's the way to get on in the world, it's hardly the best example to set.
If you describe people who've been left behind in the race as "the enemy within" - that's exactly the way they'll end up behaving.
Pretentious, moi?
If you describe people who've been left behind in the race as "the enemy within" - that's exactly the way they'll end up behaving.
Pretentious, moi?
# posted by 
: 8:17 pm
: 8:17 pm
Well, you obviously don't do enough embroidery or have quite nice enough manners. It takes practice. Oh, and remember to blush if a man looks at you!
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