Friday, December 22, 2006


God bless Sky Plus. It means you can now press pause and rant at something on the telly. My poor old dad - all of his ranting meant that he missed most of what he was intending to watch (it usually revolved around swearing at Peter Bonetti or Cilla Black, or saying that all women on television were prostitutes, in case you are interested).

Anyway, some stuff on the box that I enjoyed in 2006 ...

That Jacques Peretti thing about darts players. There should be more Jacques Peretti documentaries on TV: I like his voice. A look inside Bobby George's Essex mansion and a study of darts players and fans. It sounds like it should've been crap, but it wasn't. You'll just have to take my word for it.

I Claudius, or One Clavdivs. Meant that we still occasionally boom out "HAS ANYONE HERE SLEPT WITH MY DAUGHTER?" in full-on Brian Blessed style. We are a pair of morons.

Prime Suspect. A pissed Helen Mirren dancing to an old Dusty Springfield record, ciggie in gob, in the dark. Heartbreaking. Pauline Fowler listening tearfully to a Dusty Springfield record, in the dark, a couple of months later. A coincidence.

The Sopranos and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Two old standbys. Curb is possibly past its peak but still provokes the odd guffaw. The Sopranos may have been slightly funnier in places.

Celebrity Big Brother - well, a few bits of it. Watching George Galloway mime dancing to Kraftwerk while wearing a latex bodystocking is the strangest thing in the world the first time you see it.

The Mayles Brothers documentaries shown on BBC 4. The Rolling Stones watching footage of Altamont. Marlon Brando on a publicity junket, flirting with every woman interviewing him to cringeworthy effect. Some salesmen travelling around America. Best of all, Grey Gardens. Well worth seeing any of them given the chance. Read about Grey Gardens here .

Zinedine Zidane headbutting Marco Materazzi. Did anything else happen in the World Cup? I don't remember. Oh yeah, Andrew "Freddie" Flintoff being interviewed while completely ratarsed. That was quite amusing.

Ingmar Bergman's Saraband. First time showing in Britain for the 2003 play. You've got to hand it to the grumpy old sod - still searching for the fundamental truth about people in an age where we're supposed to be flippant and stupid and love reality television. We should cherish him while he's still here.

That History Of Light Entertainment thing. Lots of bitter old gits who used to be famous in the 1970's. Everything on the telly had its roots in musical hall, as Stephen Fry told us week after week. One last resurrection of Max Miller, Max Wall, Chester "Where's Me Washboard?" Drawers and Tommy Handley before Roy Hudd kicks the bucket. Mrs Mopp becomes a cult figure around Britain as school yards resound to the shrill cry of "can I do yer naaaeew?"

*Disclaimer! I am the only person with a blog who doesn't watch Dr Who.




There, I've said it.




Does that mean I've "reached closure" now?

No you're not. I don't either.
Nor me! (Though seeing as i hardly ever post anything i probably don't count...)
That sounds like I watch it secretly.

I want to scrunch Tennant's face and put ice cubes down Piper's bra.
Blimey, round these parts you're more likely to hear "Has anyone here NOT slept with my daughter?" (and if not, why not? She's good enough for everyone else ...)
When I saw GG walk into the Big Brother house on the first night, my jaw dropped and stayed there throughout the series.
Th pissed FF was great but the ZZ headbutt is still my no 1.
I actually went to see that Zidane movie.
It was - a football match - but with artisic editing.
Mike Read listening wistfully to a Rick Springfield record, in the studio, strumming his guitar.

Happy Christmas Betty and Geoffxxx You are truly the best couple ever. And I love youxx So therexx
Wish you'd told me Dr Who was still on. I'm a big William Hartnell fan. Sergeant Major Bullimore. There's entertainment.
Sharon - that's a relief. I feel like a lone voice in the wilderness as far Dr Who is concerned.

The Whales - I'm sure you count as much as some of the bloggers of this parish who disappear for six months. Going away and coming back seems to be all the rage. In the case of Robert Swipe, it even involves going away and coming back as a woman.

Geoff - oh, go on, admit it, you secretly watch it and you begged me to buy you a remote control Dalek for Christmas.

Llewtrah - yeah, sorry, remiss of me not to include the "NOT". Mind you, it's probably more suitable around here because we're all prim and proper ;)

Kaz - no surprise that the movie had "artistic" editing. One of the directors was French, after all.

Lucien - I must've missed that programme. Mike Read is a very sensitive man, and a musician. He only makes love with Icicle Works records playing in the background. Apparently.

Rose - and a happy Christmas to you and your kith and kin. Mind you, we are the best couple ever for staying together so that we don't ruin two other people's lives.

Vicus - I hate to break it to you in this joyful season, but William Hartnell died in 1975. I hope that doesn't hit you too hard.

Have consulted the BBC Comedy Guide. The Army Game apparently featured a character played by "the skinny Lancashire 'face' comedian Ted Lune". I bet he was on The History Of Light Entertainment, but I missed him.
The Helen Mirren bit in Prime Suspect was my TV highlight of the year. Bloody hell that woman can act, make her Queen or something.
I also liked 'How Music Worked' with Howard Goodall but then I love any 'expert telling you how things work' type programmes.
I've not seen any new Dr Who not neither, but you may well be the only blogger who didn't/doesn't watch Green Wing.

Which coincidentally is the *only* telly I've seen this year, so none of the rest of this means anything to me. Can't decide whether to watch more TV in 2007 or just give it up completely.
I adore Helen and between the Queen and Prime Suspect it was heaven in Mirrenville.
I have never seen 5 minutes of Dr Who!?
Have a great holiday Betty...next year I will try to follow your blogging rules...sort of...maybe..as often as is humanly possible.

btw Have you ever heard of an all gal band from Canada called The Organ? I think that you might enjoy them..sort of retro early elvis costello spartan but very catchy.
Bugger it, Betty, you could have waited until after christmas to tell me. You'll be saying Edith Evans has passed on next.
What's television?
Realdoc - yeah, Helen Mirren is the real Queen Of Britain, eat yer heart out Elton John. I enjoyed the Howard Goodall series - don't know how much I actually learnt from it though.

Patroclus - actually, I watched all of Green Wing, all the way through, to give it a fair hearing (shouldn't that be "fair viewing"?) and I'll watch the last episode ... anyway I don't think I could give watching television at this late hour. I'm beyond help.

H E - Is Dr Who aired in Canada? Actually, I never watched it as a child, which is when it becomes habit-forming, or so it seems.

I shouldn't take the blogging rules to heart. That was just me in a bad mood because the washing machine wasn't working properly.

I've not heard The Organ, but they're one of those bands I've heard "about" - will have to give 'em a listen, if I remember!

Vicus - it's worse than that. Gilbert Harding and Lady Isobel Barnett - both DEAD.

Dive - it's the evil lantern in the corner that prevents me from having a life. Or is a substitute for life, really, but there's nowt else to do around here, and if you leave the house after dark you might be killed, so ...
I watch Dr. Who. I close my eyes and hum loudly whenever that pitiful thing that plays 'Rose' drags her teeth onto the screen which makes Dr. Who viewing kind of a patchy affair since it's about 90% fricken' Rose, but i get a huge kick out of that weedy, hyper guy playing Who. So, um, thats what you've been missing. no thanks are necessary.
lets see if it posts.....
*dons ceremonial native tavern jacket, grasps ceremonial native poolcue and does celebratory native blog dance*
First Nations - well, Rose has now left, but as far as I know Mr weedy and hyper is still in it, so that should cheer you up.

*dons pearly queen outfit, opens lid of piano and plays introduction to that old singalongacockney standard Boiled Beef And Carrots*
I remember reading somewhere that the Queen wasn't classy enough to be played by Helen Mirren.

Fantastic round-up Betty, you make the telly sound great, too bad I missed most of these over the year...
Annie - well, the Queen's favourite programme on the box is apparently Kirsty's Home Videos, so it's probably true.

I'm sure you're out doing interesting stuff rather than slouching in front of the telly.
Who - yes. Green Wing - saw it once for a bit. No. I'm undemanding. Life on Mars'll be on again soon.
No - I don't watch Dr Who either - I only like watching old John Pertwee ones on UK Gold - sad old cow that I am.

Haha - I forgot about Derek Jacobi mincing his way through I Clavdivs. That quote really made me laugh Betty. xx
Richard - I'm just waiting for the Christmas Day Vicar Of Dibley. Sigh ... Um, not really.

Rockmother - I got that quote wrong actually. It should really have been "HAS ANYBODY HERE NOT SLEPT WITH MY DAUGHTER? IF NOT SLEPT, THEN HAD A KNEE TREMBLER IN THE CAR PARK BEHIND MORRISONS IN ERITH?" or something like that.
Happy Christmas Betty!!

Well I like Doctor Who and I'm not afraid to admit it, but the Prime Suspect was the first I'd seen, so that shows you how late to the party I am.

Excuse me, I'm off to watch Tess Daley pretend to be a television presenter....

... and a happy Christmas to you as well Boz.

It was the first Prime Suspect I'd seen as well, mainly because I'm a bit snobby about ITV. Silly me.
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