Sunday, December 31, 2006
Here is a summary of some of the gongs that were dished out:
Dishiest blogger: Lucien De La Peste
With the dashing looks of a Spanish count (only about a foot taller) and that rapier wit, who could resist? Those cheekbones! The dark, piercing eyes! The thin, sensual lower lip! The arrogance! Phwoar! Give us a fiddle with yer pointy beard, Lucien!
Most used blogging catchphrase: "... yummers" as used by Psychobilly !Oyez! Billy! (pictured below)
... yes, they're saying it in all the playgrounds of Britain now that "I'm the only gay in the village" and "bovvered?" have gone out of fashion.
Runner up: " ... yummers, as Billy would say" as used by Molly Bloom (pictured, left, below).
The Andy Fairweather Low "Wide Eyed And Legless" award: Robert Swipe
The Wayne/Jayne County "Something's Missing? Can you tell what it is yet?" award: Robert/Roberta Swipe
The deep voice! The bushy eyebrows! *something isn't quite right* ...
The Mr Loverman award (sponsored by Edam Cheese): Tom 909
Sweet baby cheeses!
Renaissance Woman Of The Year award: First Nations
A profound knowledge of art through the ages. An ability to grow tomato plants of every variety. Seems to have read millions of books. Knows tons of stuff about motorbikes, embroidery, cookery. The definitive study of lesbian cunnilingus etiquette. Is there anything this woman can't turn her hand to (as it were)?
Best blogging repartee in the comments box award: MJ (pictured below) and Tazzy & Piggy
Usually revolved around saying "Yay! First. Fuck off" and derivatives thereof.
Sexiest Voice On The Internet award: Realdoc
So I've been told.
Services To Podcasting Involving Spontaneous Mass Belching (Sponsored by Milk Of Magnesia): Istvanski and Jif Dump Alliance
Owing to the consumption of *soft* drinks while on air, allegedly. Don't do it, kids.
Right. That's more than enough.
All I have left to tell you is that Rockmother wore a Nicole Farhi gown, and Vicus Scurra wore a bespoke tuxedo.
I'll dedicate this award to my psycho analyst and good personal friend Dr Pepper.
And I'm still waiting for my cheque
Doppelganger - there was going to be a special West Country Bloggers award for trying to kickstart a Belgian New Beat revival, honestly, but, erm, I forgot about it. Sorry.
Richard - I'd hate to think there were any Charlton fans in the audience. At least no one will notice the difference if there's any flytipping in Thamesmead, arf arf.
Tom - I'm starting to think I should've given you a prize of a golg medallion, chest hair wig and a pile of Barry White albums. Still, happy new year to you, and may it be free of stuff that you don't want to do.
Cherrypie - verily, ring out the New Year Baby Bels, or summat.
Realdoc - well, as you can imagine, things weren't particularly festive around here. We were too busy being complete Scrooges (setting fire to children's presents, throwing rotten fruit at carol singers and the like).
Billy - yummers. What else could it be?
I can't tell you *precisely* what I do with the uke, but if you're expecting "When I'm cleaning Windows", you might be in for a bit of a surprise...
Did Bob disgrace himself again then? Honestly, you can't take him anywhere - the dipsomanic old cunt!
(oh heck, it's that bint with the suspiciously masculine voice and the country rock songs off of MySpace ...)
I certainly hope you make sure that your little ukelele stays in your hands during that podcast. You could do yourself an injury dear.
Yeah, what exactly did happen to Bob? Still lying in the gutter?
(sorry for the swears. That's one of my resolutions fucked up for a start, then)
Anyway (fave word)... At least we got a mention somewhere.
That fucking MJ is everywhere too, it seems.
Yay! Last! (at the time of commenting).