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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

READ 'EM AND WEEP 


A lot has been said on blogs recently about the Library Thing thing.

Unfortunately, most of it has been said by people who are eloquent, urbane and well-read.

So I feel it my duty to stand up for those of us in the hemhemhem "blogging community" who are stupid, barely literate and don't know anything about Ishiguro.

I've slightly adapted the Library Thing style for my own ends and to describe some books wot we got that's taking up too much space and gathering dust on our (rubbish, MFI) bookshelf.


Reader's Digest DIY Manual - Various Overall Clad Handymen

Categories: useful tips about removing candlewax from clothes and getting rid of air bubbles from sink taps, terrifyingly complicated advice on laying your own carpet or patio.

Star rating: ** out of five.


Thus Spoke Zarathustra/Beyond Good And Evil - Friedrich Nietzsche

Categories: life advancing whathaveyou, the concept of "The Cooperman", "Will To Power", "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff", a lot of grumbling about everybody and everything.

Note: Nietzsche's surliness may have been a defence mechanism because he didn't have much luck with the ladies, who didn't like his walrus moustache. Mind you, who can blame them? Imagine going on that all important first date with Nietzsche and he orders cream of mushroom soup as a starter, and it all gets stuck in his moustache! Euhh, like, GROSS!

Star rating: *****


Roy Hudd's Cavalcade Of Variety Acts - Roy Hudd

Categories: introduction to music hall and theatrical variety acts over the past hundred years or so, gratuitous nudity (stoutly built lasses).

Note: comedian Bill Murray had a Nietzsche-like moustache! He must've been a bachelor, then.


The British Medical Association Family Doctor Home Advisor - Edited by Dr Tony Smith

Category: inducing hypochondria.

Star rating: ** and a half.


Birds Of Britain And Europe - Roger Tory Peterson, Guy Mountfort and P.A.D. Hollom

Categories: useful "in the field" guide to birds, appearance, behaviour, calls and territory. Has provoked responses like "I think it's a reed bunting - er, probably" near the Kent Royal Military Canal and "bloody hell, it's a coal tit!" in own garden.

Star rating: **** and a bit.


I might post up some more of these in the future, but only if it doesn't bore you too much.

Comments:
I'm baffled. Library Thing? Catalogue your books online???

What on EARTH for?

I'd be frightened of anybody who catalogued their books offline too...

Am I missing something?
 
There sure are a disproportionate number of anal people on the innernet. I prefer not to get involved with them.
 
Mark - as you can see from the picture, our bookshelf is very untidy and indicates that the people who own it have poor organisational skills, so I doubt if either of us will be cataloguing our books on or offline at any point soon.

Come to think of it, the CD collection is way out of control too.

Holyhoses - oh dear, I'm already alienating people who read my blog, unintentionally, so I won't pass judgement on those who might visit here and also use Library Thing. Let's just say that they probably realise that it's a fairly anal thing to do and are pretty tongue in cheek about it. I think ...
 
hmmm, self-hypnosis... does it work?
 
I'm going to jump straight in here with a question. Why is the nodding dog not in the back of an Austin 1100?
 
Bugger the books. It's that nodding dog that interests me. I'm with Sharon on this one. What's the story?
 
Mark. I was feeling quite pleased with myself after getting almost up to the limit on Library Thing. It took ages.

As I finished I thought to myself- what the fuck was the point in all that?

I think it's for Very Sad People only.

Anyhow, Betty, yes. Nodding Dog? Please explain.
 
Shykitten - the self hypnosis book is the husband's choice. I think he found the self hypnosis CD worked better in helping you avoid stress, and he had some sort of epiphany, which is nice.

He still calls the computer a f*cking c*nt a lot, so I think he still has stress "issues" though.

Sharon J and MJ - the dog was originally intended for our car but it looked too big in the back, so it's ended up on the bookshelf. The photo of the giraffe is a birthday card. I think it looks like that bloke who used to sing with The Cars.

Spinsterella - I suppose people love books and reading, and when people have an interest they can tend to apparently pointless activity connected with it. I presume it may also be a way of getting in touch with people who have similar tastes in literature, erm, probably.

Any road, here I am pouring my heart out and writing deep, thoughtful stuff about Nietzsche's walrus moustache, and all people care about is the nodding dog on my bookshelf! God, it's like throwing pearls before swine!

*storms off to sulk in corner*
 
How's the Bettycast coming on?
 
Was the Beatles' song I Am The Walrus about Nietzsche?

They sing "I am the egg man", and he was a bit of an egghead, wasn't he?
 
Whose is the giraffe?
 
I'd go for the Roy Hudd book.
Failing that, I'd enjoy many happy hours playing with that nodding dog'd wobbly head.
 
Bob - well, there's a problem with the copyright on some of the military band music. It should be ready by about 2035, with any luck.

Billy - the giraffe is a family heirloom.

Geoff - the Beatles were all trying to get the Nietzsche moustache look at around that time as well.

Istvanski - the Roy Hudd book's pretty good. We only got it because it was a leftover from the editorial book reviews where the husband works. I probably shouldn't admit that, actually ...

Also ... "when people have an interest they can tend to apparently pointless activity connected with it" - I think I was trying to say something when I wrote that, but I'm buggered if I know what it was.
 
Yes, the giraffe is Ric Ocasek. I'd recognize that neck anywhere.
 
If it's made of paper and has a spine I can sell it (I think I do it in my sleep), so I'd love to do a house-call and take away your unwanted books. Shame I'm in San Francisco and you're in Kent.

I find Nietzche takes care of himself though. Blank-eyed twenty year-old men buy everything we have.

If you have any blank-eyed twenty year-old male readers, obviously I don't mean them.
 
Yo Bettster - I've done another poohcast and put some loud disco on it just for you. Hope you like it. RM x
 
'Willing Slaves', betty.

'Willing Slaves'.
 
MJ - that's the heartwarming thing about blogging. There is someone else in the world, apart from me, who thinks that giraffe has the same neck as Ric Osacek.

Arabella - blimey, it would turn out quite expensive. So I think when we run out of room we'll resort to the usual option of donating more books to the second hand Oxfam shop in Sidcup. Last time we had to do about four journeys back to the car, laden down with carrier bags full of old books.

I don't think any blank eyed twenty year old males would want to read about the Tiller Girls and Sing Something Simple, so I doubt if I have any visitors in that, erm, demographic.

Rockmother - fair enough, I'll get me turqoise satinex body stocking and legwarmers on then.

*entire so called blogosphere runs away in horror*

First Nations - sorry to disappoint you, but it's not THAT kind of book. All those ones are hidden under the bed, heh heh. Willing Slaves is a study of the modern lifestyle and suggests that people are to blame for the long hours they have to work, because they value money over quality of life.

Hmmm.
 
Oh Betty, I came here earlier and I couldn't comment and now I just wrote another comment and it was lost. Oh POOP!

I love your bookcase. It looks like it has lots of love in it. I love the way it is eclectic and that little doggy is so cute. I'm coming to your house to get it. Oh, you should come to mine for tea and crumpets one day. You and Geoff and you can laugh at my measly CD collection. And have an Archers.

And while you are unaware..I shall sneak out and steal that little doggy. Hee heeeee. I'm sorry I haven't been here...I have been working and haven't hardly been home since Monday...boo hooo!
 
I've had problems posting comments here too.

I like your bookshelf, it's untidy. Show's it's being used
 
Eh? Apostrophe grief. Averaging 4 hours sleep a night at the moment, it's a wonder I can speak anything near comprehensible English let alone write it
 
Molly - no worries, Real Life has a habit of impinging on blogging. It sounds like you're having too much of the Real Life at the moment with work.

I think I might start a collection of nodding dogs. They seemed to come back into fashion a couple of years ago, but have gone back out again. Perhaps those sun blinds with "Kevin" and "Dawn" on will be back in vogue soon.

(she didn't say anything about the pristine, unread copy of Ulysses in the middle of the top shelf. I *think* I got away with it).

Richard - sorry about my comments not working. What's going on, eh?

It is indeed an untidy bookshelf, which is down to my being a slovenly housewife. Although we're always getting out reference books, particularly the Time Out Film Guide. I don't get around to reading enough books, particularly since I've got into blogging, unfortunately.

Four hours sleep? Too many stressed people about.
 
I keep coming back here, and that bookcase is still very untidy.
Get the books sorted either by category, or alphabetically, and get them standing up straight so that we can read the titles.
I shall not remind you about this again.
 
Vicus, it won't be for a few days I'm afraid. I've got to build a conservatory, fix the loose slates on the roof, re-wire the house and install some double glazing.

Come back in a week's time.
 
Dear lovely Betty. I know you are already married. And I am too. But will you marry me anyway?
 
Molly, why not? Mind you, there is already the First Mr Betty, who I married at 18 and I was way too young and naive,then the Second Mr Betty, who left me for that bint on the Superdrug perfume counter, then the Third Mr Betty from Clacton who I met on holiday in Benidorm, then the Fourth Mr Betty, who was fifteen years younger than me ... I've never divorced any of 'em but the law hasn't caught up with me yet. Then there is the current Mr Betty. I think I must be the marrying kind. If you don't mind all that, then I'm game!
 
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