Saturday, July 01, 2006


Scolari, oh oh
England v Portugal today.

In my opinion, Luiz Felipe "BIG PHIL" Scolari, Portugal's coach, looks like the kind of bloke you would see in a cab office in Spain or Portugal when you are in the middle of nowhere and you have missed the last (only?) train of the day back to your destination.

You would approach the desk nervously and ask timidly "er, excuse me ... do you speak English?"

BIG PHIL would shrug his shoulders.

Then you would fumble about for your phrase book and say something unconvincing and badly pronounced.

At which point BIG PHIL would shrug his shoulders again and go back to reading his newspaper and smoking his cigar.

About three minutes later you would leave the office feeling as if you are about to cry.

Then you would have to walk the ten miles back to the hotel under a burning sky, getting lost a couple of times, bursting into tears, stumbling over rubble, spraining your ankle and having to limp for a couple of miles right on the edge of a motorway, with an endless procession of cars bibbing you and drivers telling you to "get out of the f*cking way, you f*ckwit" in Spanish or Portuguese.

You get back to the hotel at four o'clock in the morning, filthy, bloody and aching.


I know the kind of bloke exactly, and I don't like him.
But what about Sven the Dull. He's even more scary!
I've met a few of those in my time!

Especially in South America.
He could get a job with Steve McDonald - he'd fit in well there as they don't actually drive cabs very often.
God - I haven't seen Corrie for a fortnight and I hadn't even noticed.
Phil lands the Streetcars job with Steve McDonald but wants to be kingpin. Dev and Phil go mano-a-mano. Lloyd tries to break up the fight but accidentally takes a blow from Phil's fist, landing him in a coma. A convenient out for Lloyd who in real life has allegedly been hitting the crack pipe hard and cavorting with ladies of the night. Storyline solved. Alert the scriptwriters!
I wasn't paying attention too much and as I scrolled down the page and saw Big Phil's picture I thought to myself "Blimey, Ken Livingstone's put on a bit of weight."

kuqmope - what either one of the managers will be come 7pm
Tom - I think Sven is one of those blokes who loses his temper about once every couple of years and God help you if you are in his way ...

TC - can't comment on South American cab drivers as I've never travelled that far afield. I'll take your word for it.

Kaz - I can't see Phil accepting that battered old swivel chair to sit on though.

MJ - the taxi firm is at the centre of a story line at the moment on Coronation Street which I won't go into here, but I think Phil might liven things up if he needs another job opportunity after today's match, hem hem.

Oh, and at the moment we keep trying to keep up with how "out of it" Craig Charles is. The glazed eyes might be a clue.

Richard - Hmm, decided to go onto the blog as a bit of displacement activity from watching the pre-match build up which is just adding to the nervous tension. Why are the shirts of the pundits in the studio so bright? Did they misjudge the lighting because the stadium has a roof on which blocked out the light?

Sorry ... rambling now ...
I haven't even switched it on yet!
Wish I bloody hadn't now.
Yer telling me. Could've sat out in the garden in the afternoon instead, what with the lovely weather. Well, hypothetically I could've - the bloody neighbours were having a barbeque and there were vile smelling fumes drifting over the fence. Huh.
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