Monday, July 17, 2006


The best thing about blogging is the opportunity for anonymity (well, the next best thing about blogging is communicating with people you'll never meet, but I'll save that for another post).

Of course, some bloggers are brave enough to post their picture up - Mark or Vicus, for instance.

This naturally leads us to imagine what other bloggers look like, so, hey, I'm going to share a few of my "imagines" with you ...

Interpreter Pavlov - Basil Rathbone
Krusty The Baker - Archie Gemmill
First Nations - Shelley Winters
Tom 909 - Howard Marks or Ernest Hemingway, I can't decide
Kek W - either his avatar picture, or that bloke out of the Stereo MC's, but about a foot taller
Patroclus - Doris Day
Doppelganger - Terry Waite
Lucien De La Peste - the handsome one from Kasabian
John Effay - Terry Butcher
Robert Swipe - Carlos The Jackal
Angry Chimp - even though he's published pictures of himself, he'll still always be Prince Harry
Wyndham The Triffid - Punt out of Punt And Dennis
JonnyB - Grant Mitchell
Geoff - Ben Elton

If anyone feels left out because I haven't mentioned them, it's probably because I can't form a clear picture of what you look like. Besides, think of it positively: you've had a lucky escape.

GRANT MITCHELL?!?!?!!!!??!

*kills self*
Betty - Joan Crawford
Phew, I'm not there.

I've been reading this trying to decide which is my favourite. It's a toss up between Archie Gemmill (I did know who he was but I had to search for a picture) and Doris Day. Brilliant.
Well, I think Vicus got in before me there. I have two pictures of Betty: I had been thinking Kiera Knightly after a couple of weeks on a chips and Jersey milk diet (the post-watershed one) or Auntie Peggy out of Heartbeat during the day so I can concentrate on my work.
Jeez Kek.... we've been rumbled.....she got us both spot on! ..... 'cept maybe with the tall thing.....
Betty: You are Janet Street -Porter
Perhaps it's 'cos she looks like Betty Boop.
Me? Definitely Jordan, but I have bigger boobs.
Betty, you are definitely Mrs Merton. You always have been and don't tell me otherwise. You definitely have big hair.
Doris Day is way too glamorous for me. I look more like Lynda Day. The one out of Press Gang, not any others you might find on Google Images.

Betty, for some reason I imagine you as looking a bit like Suzi Quatro. Or at least what I thought Suzi Quatro looked like, which is even more confusing.
Thank you for your comments, althought the post wasn't a ploy to find out what people think I look like (honestly ...)

Well, I should imagine I'll be hearing from UKIP candidate JonnyB's New York lawyers who will promise to sue my godamn ass (... if it really WAS him ...)

Actually, I look like one of the following:
(a) Catherine Deneuve
(b) Ava Gardner
(c) Debbie Harry
(d) The young Elizabeth Taylor, but wearing a Suzi Quatro catsuit
(e) Bella Emberg wearing a Suzi Quatro catsuit
Betty, I've always pictured you looking like a more curly-haired Kate Bush??
I absolutely love it! I'll take it! Damn, rock on; Shelly Winters? Too cool! thank you! that cracked me up!

I figure you to look like Donna Reed, from the old U.S. series, but with a wizard bong in the middle of the kitchen table for when the girls come by to visit, instead of coffee and cookies.
Back off, Betty! I, I am Ava Gardner!
When I'm not Margaret Rutherford.
Or Gossage from St. Trinians.
Basil Rathbone? Many have remarked on the similarity, tho' I don't use Grecian 2000 and gave up smoking some years ago.

On the other hand, Betty, I see you as someone demurely and sweetly beautiful, with a winsome smile, fetching dimples and hazel eyes that bespeak an intelligent and sympathetic nature. In a word, comely. Thank you for giving me opportunity to state this.
Good, that's one less Christmas card to send this year.
A big shout out to all of you, even Wyndham.

I should say, Arabella, that when I'm not being Ava Gardner I'm being Gossage as well.

Interpreter P. is either a true gentleman, is being sarcastic or has a sinister ulterior motive ...

*furrows brow*
Cover blown.

Do you want me to sort that Geoff fellow out for you Amanda (Donohoe)?
No, no, Betty, not at all. Perish the thought.
Interpreter - I'm glad that's cleared up.

Bob - the thought of being married to Ben Elton or Oliver Reed ... between a rock and a hard place ...
Damn. I had you down as looking like Kate Winslet. I don't want you to look like Ava Gardner. I'd have to compete with Frank. And he has such scary friends.
"...between a rock and a hard place ..."

Yes Bet, the thought of being shouted at and letched over by an alcohol-crazed lunatic attempting a passable imitation of an orang utan with spina bifida is enough to put anyone off, isn't it?

Still, Oliver Reed's probably not much better.
Kate Winslet, Keira Knightley, Kate Bush (presumably when she was younger. You never see pictures of her as she is now), Joan Crawford, Suzi Quatro.

Thanks to those of you who see me as much younger and more attractive than I am. I'm ignoring Mrs Merton and Janet Street Porter ...

Funny how most people haven't admitted whether my likenesses of them were accurate or not.
Betty, I don't know how old this is but it must be fairly recent. She doesn't scrub up too badly for 48 or whatever.
Richard, that looks like one of those pictures in which someone can win a prize if they come up with the funniest caption.

Kate doesn't seem particularly enthusiastic to be chatted up by Mick Hucknall for some reason. I thought all ladies fell under his power because of his pheremones (...that's the only reason I can think of, anyway).
you're brilliant and funny Betty. thanks for the laugh :-)
betty: in my mind's eye, you are my (long deceased) auntie beryl

are you?

for the record, though, i am a spit for julia roberts (in erin brokovich - think tight mini skirts and an ample bosom)

just so you know and to save you having to imagine
Betty, are you ignoring Mrs Merton because it's too close to the truth?
As for me looking like Howard Marks, I'll take that - although I don't have the 'glazed eyes'. I'll go with Hemingway too! I feel good about that. My cyber-image does worry me - I am thinking of taking a more cautious approach in future.
Urban Chick - yep, I am your long deceased Auntie Beryl and I just want to say that I'm having a lovely time up here on the other side. I'm off to a choral recital in a bit.

A warning: saying you look like Erin Brokovich will only get Tom 909 going over to your site ...

Tom - I don't look like Mrs Merton, yet. An Irish drayman outside a local pub shouted after me "yer a foine lookin' woman" about five years ago and I'm still living off that even as I settle into frumpdom/decay/bristley chin/confusion. Even the dustmen have stopped wolfwhistling me, but I put that down to the fact that I've gone back to being a brunette (...er ... that's my excuse ...)

What's this new, cautious approach? Just be yerself: you don't have to follow the party line.
Kyahgirl - thanks. Enjoyed the break? I may need one myself soon.
"either his avatar picture, or that bloke out of the Stereo MC's, but about a foot taller"...LOL!

Actually, a combination of the two, plus Andy Warhol's wig, apparently.
Wearing one of those nylon Andy Warhol wigs would be hazardous in this very hot weather, I would think. Mind you, being Andy Warhol would probably be hazardous in this weather, being an albino and all.
Was he an albino? I thought he was Polish. Huhr! :-)

Andy Warhol wielding Stormbringer: now there's an image...
I've just found out that he wasn't actually an albino but lost a lot of skin pigmentation due to a bout of St Vitus' Dance in childhood. You learn something strange every day.
Hell, everyone already knows I look like Miss Piggy!
Well, you don't look like her in the picture you published ...
Terry Butcher, eh? Never heard of the fellow. However after some frantic googling I can happily assert that you're somewhat off the mark. 'Happily' not because I found his photo on Uglyfootballers.com, but because I there are several watering holes I frequent in Norwich where it would probably not be a good idea to go in resembling an ex-Ipswich player...

I don't think you look like Kate Bush, Betty. In my mind's eye you are more like Elsie Tanner with a London accent.
I think I'd prefer to be thought of as looking like Kate ... and I still have an unfortunate droning West Midlands accent.
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