Friday, June 02, 2006


"I find that Umberto Gianni's Curl Friends Scrunching Jelly adds bounce, shine and body to my curls, on and off the pitch. Smells great too!"

I'm already fed up of the endless promotions and adverts for the World Cup. Every television ad break is full of CGI images of Beckham, Ronaldinho (a.k.a. Horsehead) and a number of other players I can't recognise having a kickabout in an underground silo, and all those World Cup-related items on sale in supermarkets! World Cup mugs, t-shirts, flags, towels, bubblebath, even sanitary towels with the Cross of St George on them. Enough!

Still, it's my duty to add to the World Cup build up, so I must put in a word here for one of the great enigmas of the England squad: Owen Hargreaves.

I'm not much of a football fan, but I find Owen intriguing.

For starters, he's actually Canadian, and has played for Bayern Munich for several years. For all I know, the only time he actually touches down on English soil is if he's playing a match in England. Otherwise he's "oot" of the country for the rest of the time (apologies to any Canadians for this South Park pun).

With his Romany curls, dreamy doe eyes and long, possibly false, eyelashes, he looks as if he should be a bad romantic poet rather than a footballer.

He always ends up coming into the game as a substitute in the seventieth minute, then as far as I can tell, he has no effect on the game whatsoever.

It was suggested by Ian Wright after the England/Hungary match the other night that the only reason Owen always has a place in the squad is that he has some terrible insider information on coach Sven Goran Ericksson's private life. Ian should wash his mouth out with soap!

At the end of any international tournament or England friendly match, Owen goes back to Germany and is never heard of again, to disappear, forgotten and gathering dust like the Christmas decorations that are put away in the loft for another year.

Basically, this is a plug for my special World Cup World Of Owen Hargreaves blog, which will feature news, updates, stats, tactical talk, a forum and facts about the man (e.g., interests: ice hockey, seal clubbing. Heroes - Donald Sutherland, Pierre Trudeau, Neil Young, Alexander Graham Bell, Alanis Morrissette, David "Kid" Jensen).

I'll also be updating you on Owen's use of curl-enhancing hair products, and telling you how effective they are.

Have a great World Cup, Owen!

I'm looking forward to your OH series. Do you have any info on the rumour that he is gay - suspect that might link up with Ian Wright's comment.
Oh goody. World Cup banter. It's started already. I'll be back with monotonous regularity over the next month or so.

I'm thnking of starting a blog about why John Terry wears his socks over his knees in that rather 80s Wham-backing-singer way of his. Or maybe I'll just discuss it here, since you've started.
I'm sorry that I can't really comment on this - I know nuttin' about football. But...my hubby is Romany...I'll let you touch his curls if you like. Not quite the same...but..well..

And, I put you and your hubby in my poem today. Together,sidebyside...lovely...xx
Does Ian Wright have any salacious suggestions as to how Ian Wright manages to hold down a TV career, despite the fact he's a fucking twat? (I will admit that he was a rather good footie player, but that's different.)

I was once at a recording of a TV show that IW was hosting. A German guest came on. Ian shook his hand and said, "Sprechen Sie deutsch?"

"Yes of course I can, I'm German," came the slightly baffled reply.
Tom - I hadn't heard about the rumour that he is gay. That puts the title of the post in a completely different light now.

Mark - I think (can't be absolutely sure) that the socks over knees thing has been popular among black French players. When they do it it has a cool retro '70s look. John Terry does it and he looks like a fool.

My sister-in-law's boyfriend looks like John Terry. I bet everyone is glad they know that.

Molly - Thank you, I'm touched (well, people have told me I'm a bit touched).

I shall be grilling Owen for hair care tips.

Tim - I think Ian Wright would be described as a garrulous and ebullient personality who comes across very well on television. In other words, he has a big gob.
Where can I get those sanitary towels with the Cross of St George on them? And I do not say "oot." I do however, overuse the word "eh." Can I come over and watch World Cup with you? Nobody's interested here except a few old men in the Italian caffs.
I wonder if Owen knows Greg Rusedski the Canadian - oops sorry -British Tennis player.
Perhaps mj can come over here and I'll go and watch with the old Italians
Am I the only male in the Universe who DOESN'T follow football?

...and don't even start with that offside rule crap!

Especially not after a drink!
The Pringles one really bothers me. Won't all the pringles get crushed if they kick the tin around like that?
Kaz: Please pop your house keys in the post. And the key to the liquor cabinet while you're at it.
MJ - I thought up the idea of the Cross Of St George sanitary towels a few minutes after waking up this morning, then I thought of something more distasteful I could say about it, except all the men reading this would be offended, apart from the sensitive, enlightened ones who have read the Wicked Womb chapter in The Female Eunuch.

Kaz - yeah, Owen and Greg get together to do a spot of sealclubbing the way English sportsmen get together over a round of golf!

TC - I've known quite a few men don't like football and there seem to be a lot of blokes on the internet who say "am I the only man in the world who doesn't like football?" so you're not alone ...

Billy - oh, but they have such lightness of touch and dexterity, so the Pringles don't get crushed. Why do you think they get paid so much?

MJ, oh alright, you can come round to ours to see the World Cup and house sit the week we're on holiday. Why not paint the window frames while you're there, and shampoo the carpet?
Betty - you should have said you liked Magazine. I don't mind being called a fucking cunt by someone with such impeccable taste....

The light pours out of you,

Thanks but Kaz offered her house.
Phew. Got out of that one.
Robert - ahem, thanks. The light pours out of a different bit of me from Howard Devoto. That explained his prematurely receding hairline, anyway.

MJ - fair enough. We're not good enough for you. No, I don't mind ...
Betty!! I thought you were taking a holiday. I haven't been here for a few days and you've blogged up a storm.

all cleaned up at home then?

i'm not talking about the world cup. I refuse.
I use Curl Friends Scrunching Jelly too (it's pink gloopy stuff, right?) So far, it's been doing a passable job of making my hair look slightly less like I've stuck my finger in a light socket.

And I like Magazine as well. Ooh, I feel right at home.

(See, we're not REALLY talking about the world cup.)
Kyahgirl - oh, all the cleaning's done, but it was virtual spring cleaning with virtual time travel. In the real world, everything is as grimy and dusty as ever. There are cockroaches crawling all over as me even as I type.

Spinsterella - pink and gloopy. Yes, it's all about Owen Hargreaves' curly hair. I couldn't talk football tactics if you pointed a gun at my head.

Oh, and the last Magazine album is a bit underrated, I think.
I haven't read it, go on, don't hold back.

Ian Wright - 'he's got a big gob' or 'he is a big nob'?

Tell TC that he really ain't alone, I don't care for it much either.

Don't Canadians also have really boring pop music too?
Krusty: Canadians are responsible for Celine Dion and Avril Lavigne.
Krusty - regarding Ian Wright: both.

MJ - well, there's the Band, who I quite like, and Neil Young and Joni Mitchell "if you like that sort of thing" ...
I LOVE the Band! So sad that Richard Manuel and Rick Danko are no longer with us.

I was just refering to Celine and Avril as examples boring pop music.
Do you think they feel 'responsible' for Celine? That's a terrible collective guilt to feel. I don't hold them to it.

Heh heh, I own a Rush record; I'm my own worst enemy.
MJ - if you wanted examples of boring British pop music, I could write a mile long list.

Krusty - actually, The Spirit Of Radio by Rush was played in the pub the other night and we all started to talk about Rush. It was probably the most played record in my school common room (which makes my school sound more posh than it was).

Word verification: zupac. Legendary giraffe rapper in London Zoo, gunned down in a drive-by shooting by a zebra.
I have a soft spot for A Farewell to Kings.
Ah, but who's best - Rush, Mahogany Rush or Jennifer Rush?
i was going to comment but hten it got all confusing.

um...jennifer rush?

i'm still here, by the way.
There's a world cup? ::feigns confusion::
Surly Girl - yeah, there seem to be about twenty different subjects on the go here. We live in desperate times.

I think I would go for Rush over Jennifer Rush, if I had to choose. That Jennifer Rush song , "I-AMM YOUR LAYDEEEE" always makes me think of really ugly, huge arsed, chinless, sweaty couples dancing at wedding receptions. Ugh! And she used to wear leather tights, didn't she? Mad cow.

Pamela - you won't be confused when the American football team achieves world domination of the sport, which I suppose is inevitable one day.
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