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Sunday, June 11, 2006

I AM NOT HERE 

Off on the annual week long stay in Margate tomorrow. The coach picks us up outside the Rose And Crown at 5 in the morning.

Every inch of me has been waxed, buffed, polished, sprayed, spayed and neutered. All of the unsightly cellulite has been pumped away and donated to Happy Shopper to be tinned up in their tapioca puddings (undiluted). I will be the fittest octogenarian on the beach.

I'll be thinking of you all and missing you every moment of the day, except when I'm throwing my money away on the fruit machines or finding myself locked out of the bed and breakfast for getting back there too late (ten thirty in the evening).

Will try to send you all a postcard if I can remember. See yer.

Comments:
Have a great time fellow Betty!
 
Enjoy your break. I'm always very good at those grabby hand things. Managed to walk away with 3 cuddly toys last time I made it to Skegness.
 
Molly - thanks. Hmm, I must get around to changing that link. Perhaps you'll be somebody else by the time I get back though.

Del - thanks. I won't really be playing the fruit machines in Margitt. I'm off to "the (hopefully) quiet" bit of Ibiza later today and am having a nervous breakdown at present.
 
go
get
drunk
now.


have a nice holiday!
 
You don't need to lie to us Betty but its a nice thought. Have a fabulous time in your buffed and bodacious bod!
 
So it's true what the Mail says about our prison population then? Not only does a 'life' sentence mean nothing more than two years of counselling, body rubs, naked table tennis and 'recreational visits' from Jordan before they're free to return to civilian life and re-offend. On top of all that we, the honest, law abiding taxpayers are now expected to foot the bill for their monthly beanos to the South Coast.

Will our streets never again be safe for lonely social inadequates to torture the local wildfowl?
 
Please leave me as Betty. I miss Betty. But..I wish I could tell you why I had to change my name...you would really laugh....

I like grabby hands too. Real ones.
 
Thanks for your comments. I'm back and will furnish you with all the boring details.

Or perhaps I won't ...
 
Thank heavens you are back. We have struggled without you.
 
betty, so glad you never really went away.

i can't comment from work but i still hold you in the most loving of contempt.

word.
 
Where are you Betty?

helen
 
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