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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

HIS NAME'S A PORNO FLICK* 

Another in depth round up of television related stuff: yawn.

* * * * * * *

Green Wing has finished, at long last. I have been watching this as if it is an anthropological study of What The Middle Classes Find Funny. I think I may have smiled a couple of times, and I don't know if that was by accident or due to a nervous tic. Probably the latter. Someone who claims to also be from a working class background left a comment on this site stating that Green Wing is "beyond awful" which says a lot.

As it stands, Dr Ian "Mac" McCulloch is apparently dying of some disease or other, while Caroline "Oh God, a comedy with Tamsin Grieg in" Todd has run off on a train with Peter Shilton rather than Dr Paul "Macca" McCartney, which has apparently annoyed a lot of women. Dr "Macca" is the one who looks like a statue of a Greek boy emperor. Did the Greeks have boy emperors? I'm afraid I didn't have a solid classical education and worked in a quarry for half of my life.

I have always suspected that Caroline/Tamsin is a Belle And Sebastian fan. I suppose someone has to be because their records always go into the charts at number 29.

Nobody seems to care about what has happened to any of the other characters.

I should put in a good word for the enormous dog that made a brief appearance in an earlier episode. A fine actor.

* * * * * * *

Over at Coronation Street, Craig the goth has of course flogged all of his Stench Of Death CD's and burnt his loooong black leather coat and has got into, ugh, listening to Jack Johnson and dressing in a way which mums would approve of, in preparation for his exit to become The Middle Aged Ladies' And Their Daughters' Favourite Pop Star in real life.

If this is the case, then I don't see why Dev Alahan's excellent, sarky daughter Amber can't follow in Craig's footsteps to become a Lady Sovereign-style MC. Debut single? You Ain't Neva Been No Dad To Me. That bloke from the Streets will have to appear in the video - it's obligatory.

* * * * * * *

Best television moment at the weekend was on World Cup Stories.

Emmanuel Petit* was lying naked in the French team dressing room awaiting a massage.

Ooh la la. This made an old woman very happy.

I may not need the HRT treatment after all, even if we didn't get to see how he measures up to the other guys in the locker room.

Comments:
I saw his arse too...marvellous.... shame he has what I call 'South American Hair'..a sort of shaggy long wierd scruffy do..like soooo many South American footy fellas...with a thin hair band/bandana affair...totally fucking gay..and not gay as in mo but gay as in gay.
 
I'm just dropping in to defend long hair. I have no opinion whatsoever on Manu Petit's buttocks.
 
i like athletic buttocks. even french ones.
that said for the record, I cannot watch Corrie because i a. get addicted instantly, and b. start talking like that and can't stop.
you may resume your regularly scheduled blogging comments.
 
I have never seen Green Wing.
I don't watch C.S., although Mrs S watches it, sometimes while I am pissing about on the internet thingy.
I did not see the arse in question.
However, unlike Mr Gamon, who appears to be becoming a Liberal Democrat, I will not allow shortage of information to prevent me from expressing an opinion.
Mr Petit's buttocks are disgusting.

emwmcuil - an arse with an unusual mole.
(or maybe a mole with an unusual arse, my Lithuanian is not up to speed)
 
I didn't see his arse. I was too busy looking at his luxuriant hair. (On his head).
 
Maybe I'll watch some of the world cup after all
 
Ranter - sorry, but I like that Mediterranean late 1980's raver look on a man with the ponytail and the curly hair. I know that makes me sick in the head. It probably has an age limit on a man though ... and I'm not keen on the headband.

Mark - I don't have an opinion on the Petit buttocks as they weren't shown in much detail, sadly.

First Nations - have been watching Coronation Street for about 90 years, girl and woman, or man and boy, or something, and can't give up yet.

Vicus - well I've just looked at "Emmanuel Petit's Arse" on Google images, and your opinion is correct. Although it's not a mole, I think it's one of those fungal infections that crusts over.

Geoff - yeah, *swoon*.

Cherrypie - unfortunately Emmanuel is too old to be in the forthcoming World Cup but I'm sure there should be plenty of sinewy thighs - er, sorry, exciting games for the neutral to look forward to.
 
I love Amber too. I think she should become landlady in the Rovers and have a torrid affair with Steve McDonald. I've suddenly started to fancy Steve McDonald - D'you think its me age?
 
Despite James Henry being in my sidebar I have to admit I've never seen Green Wing either; it would seem to be one of those frantic comedies full of in-jokes that I enjoy very little. However I have seen Bob the Builder and I do believe he had a hand in that somewhere.

I have one comment on footballers' arses. They're for pooing out of. Go and smell a Frenchman and revise your opinion.
 
Me? I fancy Roy Cropper's buttocks.
 
I am middle class. I like ('like' being something of an understatement, though the second series was nowhere near as good as the first) Green Wing. Is there no hope?
 
Betty, take it from me, and I don't mean up the arse here (I know I've used that line before but it's so good it deserves a re-run), the last thing you need is HRT. I've seen ladies like you start on that stuff before and it's fucking dangerous; for any men in their vicinity I mean, obviously.
 
Kaz - Amber is great - it's refreshing to see a teenage girl in a soap that's not a whiney, wet, girly girl who's obsessed with getting a boyfriend and has funny moodswings or bursts into tears every few minutes.

I suppose someone has to fancy Steve McDonald. I think his dad had a strange sort of allure ...

Richard - I refuse to believe that myth about the French, mainly because there are so many delectable Frenchmen. I'm sure Emmanuel Petit smells of freshly baked bread, even after spending 90 minutes on the football pitch.

MJ - you and Kaz should start a Corrie Hunks forum, by the look of things.

Patroclus - I dunno, it's probably just me. Green Wing definitely seems to appeal to a lot of middle class, 20/30-somethings who've been to university. I don't fit into any of those categories. A lot of humour derives from shared experiences and what you find funny in your formative years. Or something. Hem hem.

*digs self further into deep hole*

Tom - yeah, I'm not looking forward to the menopause at all. The last thing I want is funny mood swings and having to say "is it hot in here or is it just me?" in Woolworths. Shall be avoiding HRT but there are still plenty of years of menstrual dreariness to plod through, no doubt.

Apologies to all the men reading. I think I'd better change the name of the blog to Too Much Information.
 
Don't tell anybody, as he's probably still illegal, but I quite fancy David Platt.

(Since he went all evil)
 
I think he is still illegal actually.

Apparently he's not allowed to use hair gel on set because it makes his hair darker and makes him look even more EVIL, shudder.
 
We don't call him Jack Pee Shepherd for nothing! Thing is, he thinks we don't know.
 
Ah, Richard, you've found your way over here. Welcome, but you really will have to check those typos.

Don't you all walk behind him spraying air freshener then?
 
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